Comparing to CougarBoard

[SeattleUte]

I have a family member that attempted a similar situation. Ultimately the reason the wife wanted the arrangement was to 'save face' to her family and friends. It was a dark secret that infested and ruined the wife much more than my gay cousin. Now the blame is with my cousin as a gay person should never, IMO, engage in a long term relationship with the sex they do not find attractive. The kids they have have turned out great, but both parents lie in a bed of emotional heartbreak and ruin.

I agree, be true to yourself. Of course, this is not a tenet of Mormonism, is it. Nor is there a high value placed on authenticity or truth for truth's sake.

[Moliere]

Gay Babies!!!

[statman]

I think they both like the arrangement. She would prefer him to be straight and in love with her but she thinks having him out of her life would be worse than what she has. He views it similarly.

My sister's in such a "relationship" - but I really doubt her husband is "practicing." He's never admitted to her (or likely himself) that he's gay. She asked him flat out for the first time a couple years ago. After a very long pause, his answer was "I don't think so."

They like each other, mostly. They're both very musical, and enjoy all that stuff too. She's glad he helps with the kids. She takes what she can get. It'll be interesting to see what happens when the kids are older and out of the house. She'll probably stay with him.

But my sister really knows how to pick 'em. She dated three guys seriously before marrying her husband. Two of the three are now openly gay, and number three is almost certainly gay as well. So it looks like she's 4-for-4. When they don't want to kiss you "until your first kiss over the altar" - RUN AWAY! (She got that line from a couple of them, including her husband). Straight guys generally like to kiss. At least until they marry you...

[beefytee]

cougaruteforum gave many less interesting responses than Cougarboard. Cougarboard not only had a gay LDS man participate in the thread but I received and exchanged boardmails with an LDS/former LDS man in the same exact situation as my friend. cougaruteforum boasts its openmindedness but cougarboard wins the diversity prize.

CUF isn't the one on trial here, you are.

[smokymountainrain]

cougaruteforum gave many less interesting responses than Cougarboard. Cougarboard not only had a gay LDS man participate in the thread but I received and exchanged boardmails with an LDS/former LDS man in the same exact situation as my friend. cougaruteforum boasts its openmindedness but cougarboard wins the diversity prize.

Sorry, but if vikoug is the gay guy you're referring to, he lost all credibility with this statement...

People choose to be gay, but not who their attracted to.

First, who you're attracted to determines whether or not you're gay - so his statement doesn't make sense. Second, to paint with a broad brush that all people choose to be gay, is so ridiculous, it's embarrassing.

[Surfah]

Sorry, but if vikoug is the gay guy you're referring to, he lost all credibility with this statement...



First, who you're attracted to determines whether or not you're gay - so his statement doesn't make sense. Second, to paint with a broad brush that all people choose to be gay, is so ridiculous, it's embarrassing.

It seems as though vikoug may not define someone as gay until they practice such.

[smokymountainrain]

It seems as though vikoug may not define someone as gay until they practice such.

I guess that's a possibility, but do people really think that way?

So I wasn't straight until I consummated my marriage? This is good information.

Surfah, I know you didn't say you feel that way, I'm just trying to wrap my head around that idea.

[Surfah]

I guess that's a possibility, but do people really think that way?

So I wasn't straight until I consummated my marriage? This is good information.

Surfah, I know you didn't say you feel that way, I'm just trying to wrap my head around that idea.

I don't know. I haven't read the thread. I am just going off woot's comment above:

It's funny that a board full of virgins insists that you're not gay until you have sex. I guess that means that most of CB isn't straight.

And as far as I am concerned, you're gay once you're attracted to the same sex.

[byu71]

It seems as though vikoug may not define someone as gay until they practice such.

Seems to me from his perspective the word gay means "bad person". So it would follow the person isn't "gay" until they do something bad.

It would be the same thing as labeling a hetro as a fornicater. They aren't a fornicater until they start fornicating.

I am not a fan of his concept. I think there are good hetro's and good gay's. They don't become bad unless they fornicate outside of marriage.

[beefytee]

So I wasn't straight until I consummated my marriage? This is good information.

Some people are celibate until they get married. If fact technically, you could say all people are celibate before they are married.

[Indy Coug]

So being celibate isn't the same thing as keeping your penis in lockdown?

[COUGALICIOUS]

What if, umm, let's say there is this guy who, uh, let's say, might rather make out with Matt Damon rather than make out with Janet Reno? Would that, you know, make him gay, hypothetically speaking?

[I.J. Reilly]

Who cares. That the LDS church causes its members to obsess about such questions is about all I would need to know about it. Speaks volumes. Worse, it's an insendiary question on CB. lol. What a bunch of losers.

PS, Glad you're here K-Dog.

I would say that the problem lies much more with society than the church.

Society has generally adopted a binary gay/straight view. Either you are one or the other. This, in turn, forces a choice that may be unnatural. That the LDS church has adopted society's view on sexual orientation is no surprise and is not the root cause of the obsession, imo.

[Indy Coug]

Society has generally adopted a binary gay/straight view. Either you are one or the other.

IMO, that's mostly the fault of those that have adopted the "you can't choose to be gay and can't choose to be un-gay" argument in terms of explaining/defending/justifying homosexual relationships. Mainstream society has largely accepted this argument, ensuring that a binary view of sexuality will remain for the forseeable future.

[Flystripper]

I think Vicoug is a fraud and is not who he claims to be.