Embarrassing things you did as an uber Mormon

[Surfah]

Holy crap. You guys are killing me. I am trying to think and I don't think I ever did anything that embarrassing.

I went tunnel singing once as a freshman when some guys on my floor invited me. I got there and was like WTF is this? I was intrigued by the apparent power struggle between two guys who would immediately jump up off the ground as soon as a hymn was finished to try and lead the next one. I never went back.

I did wear a BYU jersey to a Raiders fan day just because Todd Christensen was my favorite player. As I stood there waiting for his autograph he saw my jersey and says hey I went there. I said I know. That's why I wore it. You're my favorite player. I think I was like 9 maybe at the time. I didn't know he was a toolbag until HS when I drove to Santa Paula to hear him speak at a fireside.

[Moliere]

I enforced the shaving aspect fo the honor code. Yes, I was an intramural supervisor and was forced to do it, but it was tough to tell someone they couldn't play ball because of their "flavor saver". Sometimes I'd bring a disposable razor with me just to give them an out. Nothnig better than seeing someone dry shave with a Bic disposable razor.

[Surfah]

I enforced the shaving aspect fo the honor code. Yes, I was an intramural supervisor and was forced to do it, but it was tough to tell someone they couldn't play ball because of their "flavor saver". Sometimes I'd bring a disposable razor with me just to give them an out. Nothnig better than seeing someone dry shave with a Bic disposable razor.

One of the reasons I am grateful for my Chinese blood and that I only have to shave once a week.

[TripletDaddy]

i thought of another one this morning.

Sometimes I would wear my Youth Conference t shirts to school.

ps Bonus points in this thread because I wasn't even Mo for 3 of the 4 youth conferences I attended.

[cowboy]

Shortly after my mission, I stood on the bleachers at the top of RES and called all of the Utah fans to repentance. I shouted at the top of my lungs that the second coming was nigh, and that they should surely repent or die. They became really angry and started shooting arrows at me, which was curious to me because I couldn't understand why they all decided to bring bows and arrows to a football game. Fortunately, none of the arrows hit me. Ute fans are crappy shots.

[Goatnapper'96]

During an Elder's quorum lesson in my freshman year at BYU, a member of the bishopric asked us what we thought was appropriate with regard to kissing /making out with girls. I raised my hand and said I had heard one of the brethren say you should kiss the girls you date in the same way you'd kiss your mother. I was serious. Every time I think back to that story I feel like a total dick.

Daddy says that I'm the best at it!

[Goatnapper'96]

Growing up where mormons where the minority I never had any uber experiences. But I do have this story of which I am not real proud:

I was doorknocking on Christmas Eve, I had been in the field about 3 months. My entire teaching pool had self destructed and I was cold and discouraged. My trajectory was not heading me toward zoneleadership and the coveted car keeping one out of the daily rain of jolly old England. There I was offering a message of peace, hope and salvation when some lil bitty goes postal on me on her porch. At the end she asks "and what do you think of that?" To which I respond "Quite honestly you are, without question, the biggest bitch I have met in your cold, wet and boring country!"

She slammed the door. I moved on but the guilt, and the whining by Elder Crazy Jay Cannon of Kaysville, UT informing me I was not authorized to say such things to people, got to my conscience. I went back and knocked on her window and apologized. She did not accept it and I thought I would inform her that the D&C makes it clear that she must forgive all men but I figured it would be throwing pearls in front of swine, so I moved on. I am still embarassed I went back and apologized, she was a bitch!

[RC Vikings]

I would go to the gym and then come home and put on all the required church wear.

[HBCoug]

I felt REALLY bad about masturbation. It seriously depressed me and made me feel terrible about myself. It made me feel like I would never be worthy to marry in the temple, or worthy to serve a mission, and I would absolutely dread getting called to bless or pass the sacrament. There were a lot of tear-filled nights laying awake wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?

[byu71]

My resolve to see appropriate movies didn't last too long. After being home for a week or so, all my buddies and I went to see Silence of The Lambs. I thought I was going to hell after seeing that movie, although I found it very intriguing.

I don't remember there being nekked woman in that show. Maybe I saw the edited version.

[byu71]

Growing up where mormons where the minority I never had any uber experiences. But I do have this story of which I am not real proud:

I was doorknocking on Christmas Eve, I had been in the field about 3 months. My entire teaching pool had self destructed and I was cold and discouraged. My trajectory was not heading me toward zoneleadership and the coveted car keeping one out of the daily rain of jolly old England. There I was offering a message of peace, hope and salvation when some lil bitty goes postal on me on her porch. At the end she asks "and what do you think of that?" To which I respond "Quite honestly you are, without question, the biggest bitch I have met in your cold, wet and boring country!"

She slammed the door. I moved on but the guilt, and the whining by Elder Crazy Jay Cannon of Kaysville, UT informing me I was not authorized to say such things to people, got to my conscience. I went back and knocked on her window and apologized. She did not accept it and I thought I would inform her that the D&C makes it clear that she must forgive all men but I figured it would be throwing pearls in front of swine, so I moved on. I am still embarassed I went back and apologized, she was a bitch!

This reminds me of a pretty straight, well really, really straight companion of mine. Dude had faith beyond anything I had seen before.

One afternoon was particularly brutal in a small town in Ohio, that was 90% Catholic. Remember, at that time they had been deemed the great and abominal church by Elder McConkie.

We really did take an unusual amount of nastiness. Horns, polygamy, marrying children, the whole bit.

Well Elder....... was pissed and I am not kidding, he wanted to do the dusting off of the feet thing. I begged and pleaded with him and finally calmed him down. Here is the embarassing thing. I begged and pleaded hard because I really thought if this dude wanted to, he could pull it off.

[SteelBlue]

Holy crap. You guys are killing me. I am trying to think and I don't think I ever did anything that embarrassing....

I went tunnel singing once as a freshman

Aaaand you're in the "I did something embarrassing" club now.

[hostile]

I don't remember there being nekked woman in that show. Maybe I saw the edited version.

No naked women. Just your routine canabalism and serial murder/rapist who fattens his victims so as to have adequate material to make a suit of human skin. Plus, Buffalo Bill doing "the tuck" is still a disturbing image.

[byu71]

No naked women. Just your routine canabalism and serial murder/rapist who fattens his victims so as to have adequate material to make a suit of human skin. Plus, Buffalo Bill doing "the tuck" is still a disturbing image.

I have read things close to that bad in the Old Testament. Just kidding guys. Funning. A little sarcasm.

[Eddie]

I'm not sure if this is due to uber-mormonism or just being a dumb naive kid. As part of a high school class focused on good peer modeling and just saying no to drugs I attended a group for kids who were ordered into treatment for drug abuse issues. In the middle of the kids there talking about how easy it was to get LSD, Marijuana, or Crack in their school I added in my two bits about seeing kids give each other tylenol with codeine.

Yes. I was an idiot.

On the missionary front I was in one of those Latin American countries where it was somewhat common to greet each other with a kiss on the cheek. As missionaries we never did this - and really never had anyone do it to us. Until I had been in the country for about 6-7 months. We were at a member's home around Christmas while some extended family was there. As one of the families was leaving their 14-15 year old neice was kissing all the family members goodbye on the cheek. She went from the family member I was sitting next to, to me - and it freaked me out a little bit. I must admit, I wasn't used to having gals kiss me pre-mission much less during the 2 year trek through the femaleless desert. I kind of leaned away and avoided her, and she went away embarrassed. I am still pretty embarrassed that I reacted that way - and to their credit the family heckled me about it until I was transfered from the area. I like to think I learned from the experience.

OK - as long as I'm confessing. It wasn't a "kind of lean away". It took some pushing myself back into the couch and a little twisting to avoid her. Very obvious to everyone and anyone in the same room. She still got me on the cheek but disappeared quick after that.