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  • #61
    Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
    The Tick,

    Something to consider that has not yet been discussed...

    The Church (through CES) has been rolling out a relatively "new" emphasis lately and it focuses specifically on the issues your SP wants to discuss.

    There is a specific lesson to be taught to the HS kids that focuses on vocational training and college, as well as some basic budgeting exercises. In addition, Jrs and Srs are to be introduced to a pilot website the Church has put together that allows the kids to do a few things, including:

    1. Enter their post-HS plans into a database
    2. Request info or contact from any of the Church schools (BYU, BYUH, BYUI, LDSBC)

    Additionally, there is a DVD companion to these CES lesson plans...the dvd is a compendium of various vocational and educational-related talks and messages from The Bros. It is called "Education: Your key to Opportunity." The DVD was put together back in 2006 but it is being disseminated now as part of the launch of this new push to database all our youth. If I am not mistaken, CES is rolling this things out in pilot format to figure out the most effective way to do it. I know SoCal is participating...don't ask me how I know these awesome things.

    You may wonder why the effort to bag and tag all these kids. There is actually a very good reason. Statistically, the Church has a very difficult time keeping track of the YSA demographic. They are like phantom menaces, like c.h.u.d., like body snatchers, like Ishtar......they float in and out of activity, roam from ward to ward, often only attending sacrament meeting, and that is where the Church has found that they lose many people to inactivity. A big part of this effort is to be able to know where the youth are headed BEFORE they take off....that way they are not entirely lost in the fray and can be found or approached by local leaders (Bishop, Institute Director, RS Pres, etc) as they take off on their own for the first year outside the home.

    The Church is accomplishing two important goals simultaneously:

    1. Encourage kids to seek some sort of post-HS training or empowerment.
    2. Establish a record to help track these kids as they head out into the world

    Since this is somewhat of a pilot, the implementation of such will likely vary from stake to stake. It is also entirely possible that your SP knows nothing of this movement and is simply stalking you guys. But I offer it up as a possible alternative explanation to the "Evil Machination" theory.

    I am a big believer in doing whatever we can to support our youth and to help put them in the best position to succeed. You would be surprised how many youth do not get adequate parental involvement or support at home. Not all teens are as lucky as your daughter, to have a mom and a dad that will do anything to help her fulfill her goal of going to college. There are some kids out there that would really benefit from having mentors such as a SP or a Bishop or RSP step in and take an active interesting in post-HS planning. These are smart kids but they don't necessarily know how to take the next step in life, whatever that step may be.

    Finally, since you asked.....Life is too short. Be happy that other folks love your daughter or are concerned for her welfare and are taking an active interest. Give your leaders the benefit of the doubt and let them try to help make a difference in your daughter's life. You are probably established on CUF as the most gung-ho and effective YM leader in history. Part of what made you so influential and successful in that role was an occasional appropriate foray into the private lives of your charges. Hopefully, your SP means no harm in this.

    Anyhow, good luck and hope this info is somewhat helpful.
    You are right. Thanks for the talking too...in a good way.

    One of the things that I was pondering this morning (and talking with TW a bit about last night) is that I assume that most kids have parents like us. Always talking to our kids about their future: School, career, marraige, sex, drugs and alcohol, Dexter. I don't often think about the kids that may be rudderless and not getting the direction from their parents...and for this I am chagrined this morning.

    Recent example...

    We have a YW in our ward at a fine fUCLA. She took out a consumer loan for school. Her parents and her councelor at school never discussed Financial Aid for school. Now, 1 year in she doesn't know how she is going to be able to start her Sophmore year when she needs to get a job to pay for the loan.

    I suck.

    Comment


    • #62
      Wow, Tick. Since you asked for our opinions, I have to say I think you are WAY out on a limb with this issue. I don't see any reason to get upset that the Stake leaders want to have what is, in essence, an exit interview with their graduating young men and young women. No big deal, IMO.

      Good luck.

      Edit - I see I posted this about the same time you were responding to DDD. I wasn't intending to pile on.
      Last edited by kccougar; 01-28-2010, 11:06 AM.
      "It's devastating, because we lost to a team that's not even in the Pac-12. To lose to Utah State is horrible." - John White IV

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      • #63
        Originally posted by kccougar View Post
        Wow, Tick. Since you asked for our opinions, I have to say I think you are WAY out on a limb with this issue. I don't see any reason to get upset that the Stake leaders want to have what is, in essence, an exit interview with their graduating young men and young women. No big deal, IMO.

        Good luck.
        Keep reading KC.

        I still don't like it, but I have almost come full circle.

        Comment


        • #64
          It may not come across this way on the messageboards, but I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to things they do and why they do them, both inside and outside the church and even if they've done things to me or to others in the past that I haven't agreed with. I think it's a healthier approach to life.

          Even if you and your wife have butted heads with the SP in the past, I think it's a good idea to not ascribe unflattering ulterior motives to why he might want to discuss things with your daughter. Going in with open minds and open hearts might lead to a positive experience that could help bridge the existing gap between him and you.
          Last edited by Indy Coug; 01-28-2010, 11:29 AM.
          Everything in life is an approximation.

          http://twitter.com/CougarStats

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          • #65
            Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
            Eff you, too.
            You should feel lucky he said you were cool. Were you wearing your little Castro hat when he golfed with you?
            Get confident, stupid
            -landpoke

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            • #66
              Originally posted by HuskyFreeNorthwest View Post
              You should feel lucky he said you were cool. Were you wearing your little Castro hat when he golfed with you?
              I may dress like Castro, but I golf like Kim Jong Il.
              Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

              There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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              • #67
                Originally posted by Eddie Jones View Post
                Yet you lack the guts to tell them that.
                I don't lack the guts, Tick holds the reigns from me going at them.

                Comment


                • #68
                  My guess is the Stake President doesn't have any sinister reasons for wanting to interview your daughter. However, it is a bit of an intrusion. Of course, a lot of what the church does is based on being intrusive. The only way to stop the expansion of intrusion is to flat out refuse things that you feel are out of bounds.
                  Just try it once. One beer or one cigarette or one porno movie won't hurt. - Dallin H. Oaks

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                  • #69
                    My Stake Leaders are getting pressure from the higher ups to keep a closer watch on the youth. Some of what they are trying to do looks good to me, some of it does not.
                    Last edited by Sleeping in EQ; 02-01-2010, 07:51 AM.
                    We all trust our own unorthodoxies.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      I can understand frustrations you may have with your SP. My wife is a very private person and does not like to discuss most things with our Bishop (Personal Family stuff). She has also butted heads with our Bishop and even went inactive for about a year over some issues.

                      In the end she realized that these men are not perfect and the Lord's Church is, and has come to grips with her issues. She has forgiven him (Even if he had no idea or not) and moved on. It has made her much happier and such a better person for it..

                      As a young teenager, I remember riding home with my parents and bickering with my mom about the church and our leaders in the Ward. I think my father had heard enough and made a statement that hurt my very core and is something I have kept close to me when I have frustrations with my leaders. He said in a very loud almost prophetic voice. "One who bickers and backbites towards the leaders of the church, is a person one step closer to apostasy"..

                      More often then not this statement has been true. And it has kept me from the same mistake. I realize that I may dislike and disagree with my leaders in my Ward or Stake (At times), but there is more here then personal relationships that I need to remember..

                      Now I am a hothead and a passionate person. And I still struggle at times not to throw out a snide comment about my leaders at times. But after I walk away I am always reminded of this statement and I tend to move past my issues.

                      Not saying you don't do this (I am sure you do), but just wanted to give you a little information about how I deal with such issues... I am here to serve the Lord, and overcome the trials he places before me..

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by Sleeping in EQ View Post
                        My Stake Leaders are getting pressure from the higher ups to keep a closer watch on the youth. Some of what they are trying to do looks good to me, some of it does not.
                        SIEQ...care to expound?

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          And Boy Scouts of America makes a kid write an essay about all that stuff if he wants to be an Eagle. Damned Boy Scouts...

                          I think you're blow it WAY out of proportion. See posts by FM, Indy, KC, etc. above...

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            I'll agree with folks who believe this is all pretty harmless.

                            A couple of thoughts - in a leadership meeting a few months back our Stake President spoke for quite a while about his concern for college age kids. He showed a graph demonstrating that a large number drop to inactivity between the ages of 18-24, and that their activity doesn't increase until they are into their 30's - if ever. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that this is a point of emphasis everywhere.

                            Second - if you believe the Stake President is generally a good guy and won't lead your child astray (in a general sense) then I actually see this as a potentially good opportunity to have someone in a leadership role reinforce the good things you are attempting to teach in the home. With teens it never hurts to have another adult tell them the same things you've been teaching them all along - or at least something similar enough that they can make the connection that Mom and Dad aren't complete kooks.

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