Meddlesome Stake Presidency...

[The Fourth Nephite]

I hear what everyone is saying. And I do appreciate the remarks.

We do have issues with our current Stake Presidency. And I will agree that that is part of what is making it worse.

What I can't figure out though...is what they are going to cover in this interview that they didn't cover in her Ecclesiastical Endorsement interview for BYU. You know...the interview that you had with her for 30 minutes 3 months ago.

There are kids that are rudderless. But I like the idea of holding a Fireside...like the one they held for BYU/BYU-I/BYU-H/LDSBC last year.

And to Eddie Jones...there is a reason that I answered the phone and not my wife. She would have told the HC to go eff himself. So don't pretend to know that she wouldn't have the sack to tell him to his face. I am the one that wouldn't, not her.

I will return and report.

I just hate my Stake, and this is more fuel.

I don't care for my ward. I'll trade my stake for your ward. What d'ya say?

[The_Tick]

I don't care for my ward. I'll trade my stake for your ward. What d'ya say?

Deal. My ward pretty much is boring, so something new would be good.

How many folks have thought about selling their house to solely move out of the ward/stake? No other reason....

[The Fourth Nephite]

Deal. My ward pretty much is boring, so something new would be good.

How many folks have thought about selling their house to solely move out of the ward/stake? No other reason....

Thought? If the market wasn't in the crapper I probably already would have.

[Moliere]

Yet you lack the guts to tell them that.

And to Eddie Jones...there is a reason that I answered the phone and not my wife. She would have told the HC to go eff himself. So don't pretend to know that she wouldn't have the sack to tell him to his face. I am the one that wouldn't, not her.

I obviously don't know your story as much as others on this board. My response was not sarcastic, which is unusual for me since 90% of my posts are, but it just seemed like instead of facing the problem you were venting on an anonymous message board.

Now though, having read some of the comments and learning more about your relationship with stake leadership I understand and I was off base. Sorry.

In general I do think one big issue in the church is that members often times don't tell their leaders exactly how they feel, but this doesn't seem to apply to you (or at least your wife) so kudos to your family. If I were a leader (although I doubt I eve will be thankfully) and I was being intrusive I would like someone to tell me that rather than continuing to let me go down that path. I would hate to go marching one day in a parade only to look down and realize that I had no clothes on.

[Katy Lied]

Ive always like TW's spunkiness, and I have no doubt she's a mama bear when someone is messing with your family, but I agree with others who say to pick your battles carefully. I don't doubt that you could fully gear up for war, but it's so exhausting and consuming, and there are so many other fun things you could use your energy on.

[Indy Coug]

Ive always like TW's spunkiness, and I have no doubt she's a mama bear when someone is messing with your family, but I agree with others who say to pick your battles carefully. I don't doubt that you could fully gear up for war, but it's so exhausting and consuming, and there are so many other fun things you could use your energy on.

THREADJACK: Katy, your post count is 1111

[Katy Lied]

THREADJACK: Katy, your post count is 1111

Yeah, I was trying to get there on 1/11/10.

[clackamascoug]

Upon graduation, if an LDS kid chooses to go to BYU, BYUI, BYUH, they need an ecclesiastical clearance, which entails an interview/endorsement from the Bishop, and the Stake President. Some people don't know this, and a heads up interview helps with the process and planning for the future.

In my experience, one's disposition is a matter of choice.

[The_Tick]

Upon graduation, if an LDS kid chooses to go to BYU, BYUI, BYUH, they need an ecclesiastical clearance, which entails an interview/endorsement with the Bishop, and the Stake President. Some people don't know this, and a heads up interview helps with the process and planning for the future.

In my experience, one's disposition is a matter of choice.

Yes...but they interviewed her for 30 minutes in October when she applied to BYU.

I have had a night to think about it, and the only person I am really pissed off at is myself. Seriously...

5 years ago I would have never posted something like this. I am not even the same person I was back then. 5 years ago I didn't question anything. I enjoyed everything about church. Loved my ward and the stake.

We got a new Stake Presidency and things have gone downhill. I don't blame the SP for everything. My shaky testimony is my own problem.

But I will say that the things the SP has done is what started me in questioning most of the things I do though. But whatever happens is on me and I know that.

KL,

Thanks for your remarks about TW. When she first got on here I was a little protective of her, because I wasn't seeing the real her on the board. She took a break and has returned. The TW that you see now is the one I know and love. Fiesty? Heck yes. Love her to death.

Again...thanks for everyone posting your thoughts out there. Besided DT I don't have real life folks that I spend any time with at all. CUF is my social circle. I post here, and am healed.

Thanks to FM for even returning my texts last night. He helps keep it real.

[Art Vandelay]

Yes...but they interviewed her for 30 minutes in October when she applied to BYU.

I have had a night to think about it, and the only person I am really pissed off at is myself. Seriously...

5 years ago I would have never posted something like this. I am not even the same person I was back then. 5 years ago I didn't question anything. I enjoyed everything about church. Loved my ward and the stake.

We got a new Stake Presidency and things have gone downhill. I don't blame the SP for everything. My shaky testimony is my own problem.

But I will say that the things the SP has done is what started me in questioning most of the things I do though. But whatever happens is on me and I know that.

KL,

Thanks for your remarks about TW. When she first got on here I was a little protective of her, because I wasn't seeing the real her on the board. She took a break and has returned. The TW that you see now is the one I know and love. Fiesty? Heck yes. Love her to death.

Again...thanks for everyone posting your thoughts out there. Besided DT I don't have real life folks that I spend any time with at all. CUF is my social circle. I post here, and am healed.

Thanks to FM for even returning my texts last night. He helps keep it real.

Tick I really like you and TW, but you both seem so real. So many of us, myself included have a different online persona (Who knows you may too. Are your really the SP and posting these messages as feelers?) but you both seem very open and honest about what you like and don't like about the church. I greatly admire who can step back and reevaluate a situation (not The Situation) and see that, hey maybe my first impression wasn't the best one.

Keep us informed and God Bless.

[jay santos]

I don't have a problem with the stake presidency attempting to interview all the seniors. There are various things like this that happen all the time in the church. Tithing settlement is one. Home teaching is one to lesser extent. Last year our stake had a campaign on family preparedness where they had a mandatory checklist for all families to fill out. These things are intrusive and annoying, but I don't mind the church attempting to accomplish them.

Here's what I have a problem with. There is no way to opt out of these things without being a complete ass. Invariably, you'll have some poor guy stuck in the middle trying to check off a list that he did his calling and begging you to comply. "Just do it for me, they're hassling me to get 100% compliance." So you don't want to be a jerk to your neighbor and friend stuck doing a task he doesn't even want to do, so you comply.

For example, we had one of the clerks walk us through for 20 minutes on the phone getting us signed up on the church's website. He needed verification we were signed up, so we had to wait for emails to come through and sign in and out of computers and my blackberry (because he needed BOTH wife and I to register separately). Then it wasn't working, so he said please let me come over and help you get it done. The bishop is hassling me and you're one of the last families not to have it completed. So he barges in on a Sunday afternoon, with my wife freaking out and yelling at everyone to hurry and clean the house as he's coming over. Maybe I just don't care about the ward calendar on the church's website.

[The_Tick]

Thanks for the kind words Art.

I figure why be someone online that I am not.

I will use two examples...

1. About 5 years ago I played a round of golf with PAC and BYU71. I had not met either of them to that point. The first time I met them though they were exactly like their online persona. Except PAC wasn't wearing any Spandex. 71 was super cool.

2. FMCoug. Aside from his poking fun at Utah Mo's, he was super cool. Opened his home to me and we hung out for a few hours.

I have met plenty of folks (I would say 50% of the folks that post on here...) DDD has eluded me twice.

Dhole was cool, HFNW was epic. Tim and I have broken bread multiple times.

Come to think of it...I haven't met a person yet that isn't exactly like their online persona.

I am what I am. Emotional, passionate Father of girls. Oh well.

[Donuthole]

Dhole was cool, HFNW was epic.

Eff you, too.

[TripletDaddy]

I am upset, and I need to know if I am justified or not... you decide!

Got a call from a High Councilor tonight regarding our oldest daughter. They have asked for an interview with her next Wednesday. After that they would like to interview one of her parents.

They are wanting to meet with each graduating YW and YM to find out the following:

1. Are you graduating?
2. What are your plans after graduating?
3. Are you going to college?
4. If so, what plans/preparations are in place?
5. What are your plans after college?

I find this intrusive and a little overboard. I am really pissed off and I don't know if I should be or not.

My wife is really pissed. Feels like the Stake is overstepping their role and intruding on a Parents roll.

What say you?

I feel like calling the High Councilor back and letting him know that we wont be coming to the interview next week, and we wont be rescheduling. And I want to tell him that I think they are out of line. Is that wrong?

The Tick,

Something to consider that has not yet been discussed...

The Church (through CES) has been rolling out a relatively "new" emphasis lately and it focuses specifically on the issues your SP wants to discuss.

There is a specific lesson to be taught to the HS kids that focuses on vocational training and college, as well as some basic budgeting exercises. In addition, Jrs and Srs are to be introduced to a pilot website the Church has put together that allows the kids to do a few things, including:

1. Enter their post-HS plans into a database
2. Request info or contact from any of the Church schools (BYU, BYUH, BYUI, LDSBC)

Additionally, there is a DVD companion to these CES lesson plans...the dvd is a compendium of various vocational and educational-related talks and messages from The Bros. It is called "Education: Your key to Opportunity." The DVD was put together back in 2006 but it is being disseminated now as part of the launch of this new push to database all our youth. If I am not mistaken, CES is rolling this things out in pilot format to figure out the most effective way to do it. I know SoCal is participating...don't ask me how I know these awesome things.

You may wonder why the effort to bag and tag all these kids. There is actually a very good reason. Statistically, the Church has a very difficult time keeping track of the YSA demographic. They are like phantom menaces, like c.h.u.d., like body snatchers, like Ishtar......they float in and out of activity, roam from ward to ward, often only attending sacrament meeting, and that is where the Church has found that they lose many people to inactivity. A big part of this effort is to be able to know where the youth are headed BEFORE they take off....that way they are not entirely lost in the fray and can be found or approached by local leaders (Bishop, Institute Director, RS Pres, etc) as they take off on their own for the first year outside the home.

The Church is accomplishing two important goals simultaneously:

1. Encourage kids to seek some sort of post-HS training or empowerment.
2. Establish a record to help track these kids as they head out into the world

Since this is somewhat of a pilot, the implementation of such will likely vary from stake to stake. It is also entirely possible that your SP knows nothing of this movement and is simply stalking you guys. But I offer it up as a possible alternative explanation to the "Evil Machination" theory.

I am a big believer in doing whatever we can to support our youth and to help put them in the best position to succeed. You would be surprised how many youth do not get adequate parental involvement or support at home. Not all teens are as lucky as your daughter, to have a mom and a dad that will do anything to help her fulfill her goal of going to college. There are some kids out there that would really benefit from having mentors such as a SP or a Bishop or RSP step in and take an active interesting in post-HS planning. These are smart kids but they don't necessarily know how to take the next step in life, whatever that step may be.

Finally, since you asked.....Life is too short. Be happy that other folks love your daughter or are concerned for her welfare and are taking an active interest. Give your leaders the benefit of the doubt and let them try to help make a difference in your daughter's life. You are probably established on CUF as the most gung-ho and effective YM leader in history. Part of what made you so influential and successful in that role was an occasional appropriate foray into the private lives of your charges. Hopefully, your SP means no harm in this.

Anyhow, good luck and hope this info is somewhat helpful.

[The_Tick]

Eff you, too.

My kids were able to meet HFNW and LDC. They talked of "The Beard" for about 1500 miles. At some point they mentioned "his job is way cooler than yours". Which we agree on.

I then told them that when I hook up with HFNW and teach him and his boys how to Fly Fish this summer that I was leaving their "HFNW has a way cooler beard than you" asses at home.