General Conference Predictions

[Pheidippides]

I guess my original question still stands. If you let the kids stay until 1, what else are they doing between 1 and when they wake up in the morning that you would require them to come home. Maybe I wasn't enough of a hellion as a 12 year old. I haven't developed the anti-sleepover vibe but admittedly I never went to one that was dangerous or corrupt.

A lot of stuff. Usually it is illegal or involves porn. It's all about waiting for the hosting parents to fall asleep. There is no coincidence in which home the children would like to choose, either.

Plus I will agree with Danimal - I am well aware of situations where people were sexually abused by people you would never, ever, ever, ever guess on sleepovers. After 1 am, I might add.

My kids will stay at home.

[Moliere]

I guess my original question still stands. If you let the kids stay until 1, what else are they doing between 1 and when they wake up in the morning that you would require them to come home. Maybe I wasn't enough of a hellion as a 12 year old. I haven't developed the anti-sleepover vibe but admittedly I never went to one that was dangerous or corrupt.

Also, part of the fun of the sleepover is waking up and making breakfast, etc. The whole nine yards. I guess the kids can wake up early in the morning and head back to their friends house for that, but doesn't sound as fun to me.

I'm with DDD on this one. My oldest has already had/been on multiple sleepiness. We know the families very well. I guess I trust him more than I should.

[jay santos]

What the heck is going on at your sleepovers?

My memories of spending the night at friends homes:

Eat pizza
Stay up late playing board games or video games
Go swimming
Sneak out at night and TP a friend's house

That was about it and it was great fun. Is it common for kids to be looking at porn, doing drugs, or drinking? What kind of "friend vetting" is going on with your kids?

I'm really surprised to hear this, honestly. I really liked spending the night and having friends over. My visits to friends homes were a large part of what introduced me to the church and let me see what the gospel was like inside the home. Don't discount this as you decide to turn away your childrens' friends.

Getting molested.

[myboynoah]

We're hosting a sleepover Friday night for Teo's 11th birthday.

This will be the rundown from 3D's quadfecta of sleepover fun:

Eat pizza - yes
Stay up late playing board games or video games - yes
Go swimming - maybe
Sneak out at night and TP a friend's house - no

We'll also serve them breakfast.

[Moliere]

Getting molested.

That also happens at church, school, scouts, you name it.

[Danimal]

That also happens at church, school, scouts, you name it.

That doesn't sound like a good argument for decreasing control over situations that easily can be taken advantage of.

[jay santos]

That also happens at church, school, scouts, you name it.

By my stastical sampling it happens a lot more often on sleepovers. I see no reason for sleepvers. Luckily more and more people seem to be adopting this rule here (Utah county) so we don't end up in too many battles over it.

[Pheidippides]

That doesn't sound like a good argument for decreasing control over situations that easily can be taken advantage of.

Agreed. You can't control everything and bad things do happen to good people, but it's no excuse for not taking precautions when and where you easily can.

Of all the families I know in my ward, there is perhaps one that I feel I know well enough to trust. If my old stake president from years ago can be a pedophile (true), I'm not sure I trust anybody not to be.

[TripletDaddy]

That doesn't sound like a good argument for decreasing control over situations that easily can be taken advantage of.

Simple solution

1. Host the sleepover
2. Refrain from molesting your guests

[jay santos]

Agreed. You can't control everything and bad things do happen to good people, but it's no excuse for not taking precautions when and where you easily can.

Of all the families I know in my ward, there is perhaps one that I feel I know well enough to trust. If my old stake president from years ago can be a pedophile (true), I'm not sure I trust anybody not to be.

You never know. Maybe it's a big brother. Maybe its a big brothers friend. Maybe its an uncle visiting that weekend. You don't know.

You wouldn't expect to send your 14 yo son to sleepver at friends house (bishops house) and have him seduced by the bishops 12 yo daughter. Weird things happen and they're more likely to happen in middle of night unsupervised. Not me but happened in my ward growing up.

[Portland Ute]

Simple solution

1. Host the sleepover
2. Refrain from molesting your guests

How do you protect yourself against false allegations of abuse?

This also happens and is reason enough for me to say no to sleepovers.

[Pheidippides]

Simple solution

1. Host the sleepover
2. Refrain from molesting your guests

Less simple problem: how do you respond when a parent want to reciprocate with a sleepover? Even if you don't tell them that you suspect them to be pedophiles, it's still awkward.

[Soccermom]

Agreed. You can't control everything and bad things do happen to good people, but it's no excuse for not taking precautions when and where you easily can.

Of all the families I know in my ward, there is perhaps one that I feel I know well enough to trust. If my old stake president from years ago can be a pedophile (true), I'm not sure I trust anybody not to be.

That is exactly how I feel. I know enough of my kids to know that if something happened to them I would be the last to find out. My oldest son didn't even tell me about being bullied at school for over 2 years. My line of thinking is why take unnecessary risks? It could be an older brother, sister, or as danimal said, an extended family member who stops by for a visit. One never can really know.

I know some people in my community freak out about the fact that we have 2 registered sex offenders living in our midst. My thinking is --at least with those 2, we can look them up and know who they are. The real danger is the unknown not-yet-caught pedophiles.

[CardiacCoug]

I guess my original question still stands. If you let the kids stay until 1, what else are they doing between 1 and when they wake up in the morning that you would require them to come home. Maybe I wasn't enough of a hellion as a 12 year old. I haven't developed the anti-sleepover vibe but admittedly I never went to one that was dangerous or corrupt.

You could ask the same question in a different way, what are your kids going to miss by coming home at 1 AM and sleeping at their own house that they would get by sleeping at someone else's house? You can have the entire great experience but just come home when it's done.

I agree with Santos -- it's really impossible to know what kind of creepy brothers, cousins, uncles may be at or have access to someone else's house at any given time when your kids are there. Even if you think you know the parents perfectly.

[Pheidippides]

That is exactly how I feel. I know enough of my kids to know that if something happened to them I would be the last to find out. My oldest son didn't even tell me about being bullied at school for over 2 years. My line of thinking is why take unnecessary risks? It could be an older brother, sister, or as danimal said, an extended family member who stops by for a visit. One never can really know.

I know some people in my community freak out about the fact that we have 2 registered sex offenders living in our midst. My thinking is --at least with those 2, we can look them up and know who they are. The real danger is the unknown not-yet-caught pedophiles.

I did not tell my parents about being abused for 15 years.