Interracial marriages and your kids

[SoCalCoug]

That's why you tell your daughter to take it into consideration and decide for herself it it's a concern or not.

So you would agree that different culture, regardless of race, is something to be concerned about, but not race.

[falafel]

So you would agree that different culture, regardless of race, is something to be concerned about, but not race.

That seems to be the general consensus.

[wuapinmon]

I would have a problem if they were ugly, lazy or unkempt but my wife Rosa and myself wouldn't have much room to talk about an interracial marriage.

You define superficial.

[SoCalCoug]

You define superficial.

Why? You wouldn't want ugly grandkids, would you?

[wuapinmon]

Come on, I don't think that was out of line.

Can we get a ruling, wuapinmon?

If you're hinting that you'll be upset with your wife's infidelity as evidenced by the child obviously not being yours: questionable, but understandable.

If you're implying that the infidelity is of less concern than the spawn of forbidden lust being of another race: well, FAIL!

EDIT: DU Ute, what if you're actually part black, passe blanc, and no one ever told you.....would you be upset, if the child were yours?

[The_Tick]

I am in an interracial marraige and we have interracial children.

My oldest has black guys from her school chasing her left and right. I mean on a daily basis. White guys not so much. She turns them all down, but it has caused me to reflect on how I would feel. I see my kids as Filipina and not Caucasian, and this is the determening that I have come up with:

1. Race isn't an issue. (As long as he acts like a gentlemen, talks like a gentlemen and treats my daughter like she is the greatest thing since sliced bread I am fine.)

2. Has something going for him. Athlete, musician, coordination.

3. Has a desire for education and something better than his current spot. I wouldn't mind someone who is a "musician" that has an actual job. I wouldn't want her marrying a "musician" who plays piano on Friday and Saturday nights waiting for his big break.

4. LDS. Even though I am at a down spot in my spirituality I want her to marry someone with the same beliefs as her.

5. Phsically fit. As my daughter told me one time...she wants to marry someone exactly like me, but in shape. Being fat sucks, and having a child that is overweight I hurt for her. So...if the spouse is physically fit there is a 50% chance the off-spring will be also.

6. Recognizes my authority.

I married the only non-white in my family. My folks and extended family have treated my wife nothing besides excellent. (And most of my extended family is pretty racist.)

[Gidget]

Our daughter is half Caucasian and half Hawaiian Chinese Filipino. She's fair but you can tell she is mixed. In our family it seems everyone married white regardless of their mixes (this could be a product of marrying only LDS) but who knows? I very much care about the person my daughter marries. I don't think I will have any problems bringing up any issues I find with him after meeting him as a potential son-in-law. But in all honesty I think those issues will be more about making sure my daughter is well taken care of in all aspects (not just monetarily). I can't really see why in 20 years (which is when we will be dealing with this situation) race will have much to do with her being taken care of and happy.

[mUUser]

6. Recognizes my authority.

over what? him? your daughter? prior to marriage? after the marriage?

or, was this just a funny?

[The_Tick]

over what? him? your daughter? prior to marriage? after the marriage?

or, was this just a funny?

Can I get an all of the above?

I would hope that he would seek me for advice if they run into issues in life. In much the same way I do with my FIL.

My FIL is a simple man. If you didn't know you would think he isn't the smartest. You would be very wrong. He doesn't get involved, and only offers advice when asked.

[Surfah]

I'm the product of a mixed marriage. My mom is haole and has always been the haole auntie to my family in Hawaii. I know my mother felt (and was) ostracized by her mother in law and other members of my father's family.

To some degree I care. I would care more about cultural differences than color of skin though. And I admit that I am biased towards cultures I am more familiar with than others. I hope nobody asks me if I'd care if my daughter marries a Swede.

When the day comes, I hope that I have raised my kids to have enough respect for themselves to make a great decision in an eternal companion.

[ERCougar]

I'm really trying to imagine caring about the skin color of my daughter/son-in-law and I really can't. Sorry Indy, I tried. I think it's really bizarre to care about it.

[Portland Ute]

I am of the opinion that there is nothing intrinsic to race that would make a difference in race a problem in marriage.

That is not to say that OTHERS will not see something wrong with interracial marriages. However, I think that attitude has rapidly changed in the last 20+ year. Additionally, I think that what others think shouldn't be a reason not to marry.

Moving on to my point, I think CULTURAL differences are a serious reason for concern entering a marriage. Sometimes people of different races have different cultural backgrounds. Sometimes they have the same cultural backgrounds.

Marriage is hard enough when both people have similar life experiences, goals, religious views, political views and world views. Drastic differences in any of those just make marriage that much more difficult, IMO.

Race, in and of itself is no concern to me, to be quite honest.

[Jarid in Cedar]

I am of the opinion that there is nothing intrinsic to race that would make a difference in race a problem in marriage.

That is not to say that OTHERS will not see something wrong with interracial marriages. However, I think that attitude has rapidly changed in the last 20+ year. Additionally, I think that what others think shouldn't be a reason not to marry.

Moving on to my point, I think CULTURAL differences are a serious reason for concern entering a marriage. Sometimes people of different races have different cultural backgrounds. Sometimes they have the same cultural backgrounds.

Marriage is hard enough when both people have similar life experiences, goals, religious views, political views and world views. Drastic differences in any of those just make marriage that much more difficult, IMO.

Race, in and of itself is no concern to me, to be quite honest.

Spot on post Port, spot on.

[myboynoah]

I married an Italian. It's been difficult at times. But the food's been great!

[DU Ute]

If you're hinting that you'll be upset with your wife's infidelity as evidenced by the child obviously not being yours: questionable, but understandable.

If you're implying that the infidelity is of less concern than the spawn of forbidden lust being of another race: well, FAIL!

EDIT: DU Ute, what if you're actually part black, passe blanc, and no one ever told you.....would you be upset, if the child were yours?

I was definitely going with the former, not the latter. I was be just as upset as I would if I found out she had fathered a child with some other white dude.

As far as your hypothetical, I would not be at all upset, so long as the child was mine. I would, however, wonder why I was the slowest person on my high school football team and why I was born with such a severe case of rhythm impairment.