Interracial marriages and your kids

[fusnik]

Culture excuse typically is racist. Would people pull the culture card if a YSA married an Italian, Swede or Canadian?

[byu71]

The more I hear people talk, maybe my marriage went on the rocks due to culture not inlaws, she was from Idaho.

[wuapinmon]

Culture excuse typically is racist. Would people pull the culture card if a YSA married an Italian, Swede or Canadian?

Well, each culture's different. Not defending the statement; just pointing out that it really depends on the culture.

I really thought I'd wind up marrying someone Hispanic, with the full knowledge that the cultural differences between how I grew up and how she grew up would be vast--no matter that I consider myself Hispanic by adoption--I'm still an Anglo-Saxon Southern Caucasian man. I also knew that her family would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more involved in our lives than mine, and that if she were from another country, at some point, some of her relatives would ask to come live in our basement, and that she would say yes before talking it over with me.

Instead, I married a Danish-American from St. George. Her family doesn't care for me beyond the duties of "loving your SIL," so we're good, though she wishes we lived closer.

[JohnnyLingo]

Culture excuse typically is racist. Would people pull the culture card if a YSA married an Italian, Swede or Canadian?

What part of Canada? Alberta is America North. No worries there.

Quebec? Probably.

Italian? Definitely.

Swede? Most likely.

[Rosebud]

It might just be my opinion, but I think you can tell how a man will ultimately treat his wife by watching how he treats his mother. I'll advise my daughters to marry a man who treats his mom with love and respect. I'll advise my sons to marry a woman who isn't high-maintenance .

I hope all my children marry people they have a lot in common with intellectually, emotionally and spiritually (although I'm not convinced it is critical that they marry Mormons). I can't seem to get myself worked up about how race might play into things. There are so many factors to worry about and so many problems that could potentially come up in regards to ANY differences. I'd like to hope that they'll marry for love then will have the desire and skills to solve whatever issues arise.

[JohnnyLingo]

In either case, I hope all my children marry people they have a lot in common with intellectually, emotionally and spiritually (although I'm not convinced it is critical that they marry Mormons). I can't seem to get myself worked up about how race might play into things. There are so many factors to worry about and so many problems that could potentially come up in regards to ANY differences. I'd like to hope that they'll marry for love then will have the desire and skills to solve whatever issues arise.

But what of culture? That is the current center of the argument.

[Rosebud]

But what of culture? That is the current center of the argument.

Just another difference.... I wonder what it would be like to be married to a man like me in every way except for gender. I'd probably hate him.

[Tick's wife]

I am in an interracial marraige and we have interracial children.

My oldest has black guys from her school chasing her left and right. I mean on a daily basis. White guys not so much. She turns them all down, but it has caused me to reflect on how I would feel. I see my kids as Filipina and not Caucasian, and this is the determening that I have come up with:

1. Race isn't an issue. (As long as he acts like a gentlemen, talks like a gentlemen and treats my daughter like she is the greatest thing since sliced bread I am fine.)

2. Has something going for him. Athlete, musician, coordination.

3. Has a desire for education and something better than his current spot. I wouldn't mind someone who is a "musician" that has an actual job. I wouldn't want her marrying a "musician" who plays piano on Friday and Saturday nights waiting for his big break.

4. LDS. Even though I am at a down spot in my spirituality I want her to marry someone with the same beliefs as her.

5. Phsically fit. As my daughter told me one time...she wants to marry someone exactly like me, but in shape. Being fat sucks, and having a child that is overweight I hurt for her. So...if the spouse is physically fit there is a 50% chance the off-spring will be also.

6. Recognizes my authority.

I married the only non-white in my family. My folks and extended family have treated my wife nothing besides excellent. (And most of my extended family is pretty racist.)

Let's just hope the girls get men who treat them right, spoil them, and gives us grandSONS to spoil.....and don't forget, my mother wasn't too crazy about you since you were FAT, uneducated, unemployed, and white.....hmmm, we turned out okay.....lol

[byu71]

Let's just hope the girls get men who treat them right, spoil them, and gives us grandSONS to spoil.....and don't forget, my mother wasn't too crazy about you since you were FAT, uneducated, unemployed, and white.....hmmm, we turned out okay.....lol

I want to know how he lucked out and got a wife who let's him travel to Utah, play golf and go to a football game. Hopefully he had to pay some price.

[Tick's wife]

I want to know how he lucked out and got a wife who let's him travel to Utah, play golf and go to a football game. Hopefully he had to pay some price.

I don't care what he does as long as he comes home to me.

[Indy Coug]

I'm really trying to imagine caring about the skin color of my daughter/son-in-law and I really can't. Sorry Indy, I tried. I think it's really bizarre to care about it.

I'm not sure why you were trying and I'm not sure I understand why you're apologizing to me. The only point I'm making is that there are legitimate reasons to make that one of many considerations about marriage without it being labeled as just ignorant racism.

[The_Tick]

Let's just hope the girls get men who treat them right, spoil them, and gives us grandSONS to spoil.....and don't forget, my mother wasn't too crazy about you since you were FAT, uneducated, unemployed, and white.....hmmm, we turned out okay.....lol

This is the same MIL that tried to talk you out of marrying me while driving you to the temple for the ceremony right?

[CJF]

My wife has lived in the Philippines all but 16 months of her 30 years. The culture is quite different from the US. Obviously our race is different. She has been a member of the church for about 2.5 years. There are a lot of background differences collectively. These differences, cultural included, only plays a part if you don't have open lines of communication. If listening and patience is a part of the process, I don't think it is any different from any other marriage. Marriage is difficult when people don't work together and compromise. No matter how much you are like someone, you're still going to have different views at times. Being from different backgrounds has enhanced our relationship. While we differ on foods, or child raising decisions, or sense of humor, we grow in compromise, compassion, sacrafice of comforts, and love. I can't imagine being happier in a marriage. I don't think that is any different from same race/cultural marriages. People are people and fundamentals to success are the same for all. If anything, it has helped us. We've known from the start that we had to have the fundamentals down and really work on them and rely on each other or we would never make it. So far, so good.

[TheBYUGuy]

While we differ on foods, or child raising decisions, or sense of humor, we grow in compromise, compassion, sacrafice of comforts, and love.

Balut can be very divisive in marriage from what I've heard. You're expecting lumpia for dinner and on your plate shows up an unborn chicken.

[KillerDog]

Culture excuse typically is racist. Would people pull the culture card if a YSA married an Italian, Swede or Canadian?

I have seen many marriages between Irish Catholics and Italian Catholics go badly because of culture. I've also heard many a red headed mick complain that his daughter is dating one of those "stupid wops." I think culture is a legitimate reason and is what people are usually referring to when they say race. IOW, I believe the opposite of what you've stated.