Suicide

[UtahDan]

http://www.legacy.com/starexponent/O...onId=126183058

This is one of my partner's neighbor's child who took her life over the weekend. I don't know what I want to say about it other than I think that if I were the parent suffering through this I would go permanently around the bend. I don't know how how a thing like this is to be borne. Particularly because of all the "what if" thinking you could do for the rest of your life.

Someone tell me something to cheer me up. I never even met this girl and this just has me feeling awful.

[ERCougar]

http://www.legacy.com/starexponent/O...onId=126183058

This is one of my partner's neighbor's child who took her life over the weekend. I don't know what I want to say about it other than I think that if I were the parent suffering through this I would go permanently around the bend. I don't know how how a thing like this is to be borne. Particularly because of all the "what if" thinking you could do for the rest of your life.

Someone tell me something to cheer me up. I never even met this girl and this just has me feeling awful.

There's obviously no way to cheer you up over something like this. It sounds like the family has found some sort of comfort through her organ donation. What I've found in many of these cases is that while tragic, the death is seen as a relief of a great burden that the victim has borne for some time. True bipolar illness is something I would never wish on anyone or their family.

[YOhio]

She was beautiful. What a sad story UD.

[byu71]

I wish I could say something to cheer you up. I can't think of a way to put a positive spin on something like this. My heart goes out to those who knew her. I just hope they are surrounded by caring people such as yourself at this time. Time does heal wounds if people have a strong support group around them.

[Indy Coug]

My best friend throughout all of Junior High killed himself several months after moving away to a different high school. To this day I have no idea why he did it and I can't for the life of me think any signs he showed that he might be predisposed to doing something like that. He was cheerful, outgoing and was nice to both the cool and geeky kids in my school. It was my first exposure to death and it took me quite awhile to come to terms with it.

I think it shows that we need to be keenly aware with how our adolescent kids are and have good lines of communication to make sure there aren't dark, unspoken demons silently tormenting them and leading them down that tragic path.

[Babs]

What I've found in many of these cases is that while tragic, the death is seen as a relief of a great burden that the victim has borne for some time.

ohmygosh, you're the only other person I've ever heard say that. When I see these cases, you know, I'm heartbroken for the family, but there's a little part of me that can recognize that the deceased is finally free. It's not a very PC thing to say, I don't think, but I do believe there's truth there. If you look at the bigger picture, the tragedy is not simply the loss, but that our understanding and treatment of these disorders is so poor that those suffering so often resort to this as the only means to relief.

As far as the family goes, suicide has to be perhaps the most difficult loss to overcome. There's all the guilt over, "is there anything we could have done," plus all the anger over, "I can't believe she really did it," plus all the pain you'd have over any loss. It's unimaginable.

UtahDan, I'm sorry for all you that have been touched by this story. My heart goes out to you.

[Tim]

ohmygosh, you're the only other person I've ever heard say that. When I see these cases, you know, I'm heartbroken for the family, but there's a little part of me that can recognize that the deceased is finally free. It's not a very PC thing to say, I don't think, but I do believe there's truth there. If you look at the bigger picture, the tragedy is not simply the loss, but that our understanding and treatment of these disorders is so poor that those suffering so often resort to this as the only means to relief.

I feel the same way. I'm sad for the family's loss but happy that this woman is now free of her terrible disease.

[FMCoug]

I feel the same way. I'm sad for the family's loss but happy that this woman is now free of her terrible disease.

My Mom was severely mentally ill pretty much her whole life. From the age of 16 on. She was managing it okay as a young adult, got married, had a couple of kids, etc. But then she lost her husband, a child, her father, and had a miscarriage in the space of 3 years. She basically went over the edge and never came back. Spent the next 33 years in and out of hospitals, board and care homes, etc. Multiple suicide attempts, including one where she tried to burn herself and was horribly scarred.

When she finally passed on at age 63 (thankfully not from suicide), it was a time of celebration for the family ... not for us, but for her. An eternal perspective certainly helps ... but even for a non-believer, it's clear that is no way to live.

[Babs]

My Mom was severely mentally ill pretty much her whole life. From the age of 16 on. She was managing it okay as a young adult, got married, had a couple of kids, etc. But then she lost her husband, a child, her father, and had a miscarriage in the space of 3 years. She basically went over the edge and never came back. Spent the next 33 years in and out of hospitals, board and care homes, etc. Multiple suicide attempts, including one where she tried to burn herself and was horribly scarred.

When she finally passed on at age 63 (thankfully not from suicide), it was a time of celebration for the family ... not for us, but for her. An eternal perspective certainly helps ... but even for a non-believer, it's clear that is no way to live.

That's amazing that she endured so long.

[TheAzzuri]

My Mom was severely mentally ill pretty much her whole life. From the age of 16 on. She was managing it okay as a young adult, got married, had a couple of kids, etc. But then she lost her husband, a child, her father, and had a miscarriage in the space of 3 years. She basically went over the edge and never came back. Spent the next 33 years in and out of hospitals, board and care homes, etc. Multiple suicide attempts, including one where she tried to burn herself and was horribly scarred.

When she finally passed on at age 63 (thankfully not from suicide), it was a time of celebration for the family ... not for us, but for her. An eternal perspective certainly helps ... but even for a non-believer, it's clear that is no way to live.

I am sorry that it sometimes takes stories like these for me to realize that my own problems are not that great. God bless her.

[TheAzzuri]

ohmygosh, you're the only other person I've ever heard say that. When I see these cases, you know, I'm heartbroken for the family, but there's a little part of me that can recognize that the deceased is finally free. It's not a very PC thing to say, I don't think, but I do believe there's truth there. If you look at the bigger picture, the tragedy is not simply the loss, but that our understanding and treatment of these disorders is so poor that those suffering so often resort to this as the only means to relief.

As far as the family goes, suicide has to be perhaps the most difficult loss to overcome. There's all the guilt over, "is there anything we could have done," plus all the anger over, "I can't believe she really did it," plus all the pain you'd have over any loss. It's unimaginable.

UtahDan, I'm sorry for all you that have been touched by this story. My heart goes out to you.

I agree that while it isn't PC, it is reality. We have some very very close friends that are dealing with a very severe case of bi-polar disorder in one of their children. It has become so severe that they are considering putting him in a mental hospital to help sort things out. The mother feels like she's a horrible mother for even considering something so extreme. I tend to see things differently. I think that not only is she being a good mother by making a tough choice for her son, but that she is being a good mother to her other children. That said, I can't imagine being in their position.

Things just don't always work out like we planned. I think the relief of being free from something so terrible is both real and very understandable, both for the sick and their loved ones.

[il Padrino Ute]

This is tragic, but as others have said, she is free from her horrendous disease. The saddest part is that her family suffers from their loss. God bless them.

Quite honestly, the only thing I can say is to tell your partner that you are sorry for the loss and that if there is anything you can do to help, to let you know.

[wuapinmon]

My sister is bipolar. My father was bipolar. They both deny(ied) it. I don't think I'd view my sister's death as a release from her suffering. It's a horrible thing to grow up in a house with two people who come in and out of normalcy. You learn to hate them when they're "up" because you know how terrible they are when they're "down." But, having lost my father, I don't think I'd view my sister taking her own life as a release; I'd see it as a tragedy.

But, I understand what yall're getting at. There's a certain relief that comes from not having to deal with a person or watch that person suffer; I know that dealing with mom is much much easier now that we don't always have to worry about how my dad will react to anything we do or say. I don't fault people for craving that relief, for looking forward to it or being glad when it comes. I just know that if my sister were to go this route, it would kill me. I hate watching her suffer sometimes, and dealing with her downs drains me, but I love her and can't fathom ever accepting her suicide because I would always wonder if she made the decision from a logical place, or if the disease made her do it.

[bluegoose]

That was a wonderful tribute to her in the write-up. She sounds like she was a great person, who obviously had been battling the depression demon for a long time.

It is an awful, awful disease. If I ever have to struggle with half of the mental troubles that some do, including some of closest family members, it'll be too soon. I'm not sure how well I would handle it.

[Fiyero]

There is a longstanding belief in LDS doctrine that all of mankind lived in the presence of God before being "born" on the earth. We don't know how long that period of time was, because apparently the measurement of time is a telestial function. However, during that sphere, individuals learned and progressed, and developed the traits that they brought to their life on earth.

This subsequent mortal "probation" is like learning intensified. Everyone has different challenges here, whether it is bipolar disorder, depression, same-gender attraction, life in the slums, lack of parental love and nourishment, or whatnot. In the face of these challenges we persevere, learn and grow. At some point, many people say enough is enough.

I reject the notion that our future placement and eternal reward is based solely on the life that we individually live here on earth. What then is the purpose of what lies next, a so-called spirit world during a long, millennial period? I see life in "the millennium" as the earth being cleansed from this telestial mess into a better, less complicated terrestrial period. How many times do we wonder just how far we would progress if not for the dishonest, corrupt, backstabbing individuals who have caused everyone so much pain? In a government that we can trust? With friends and neighbors who genuinely care? With love and nourishment all around? Without the diseases like bipolar disorder, cancers, and the events that cause post-traumatic stress?

Think of the literary character Jean Valjean. When faced with a personal environment of suffering (being poor and hungry, stressed, and in prison hell) he stole, he lied, he beat up others- he was a real mess. He had goodness inside of him, but external circumstances brought out the worst in him. Despite the good inside of him, if he were to be judged out of a white handbook, he would have failed.

However, he was then given a second chance. He was touched by an act of mercy and love by a man of the cloth and subsequently given wealth and power: a much better environment than he had known before. And in that new condition, he thrived. The goodness that had been inside of him all along was able to surface as he blessed the life of others and his true person progressed.

Dan, I don't know your colleague's neighbor who died, but it sounds like she had a caring heart. She served others and tried to cope the best that she could given her mental condition. If she was everything that her obituary described her to be, I believe that in the next realm of life she is a person who will choose the good and be someone that her family and acquaintences can look up to and learn from.