Well, my life has reached its lowest point yet.

[thesaint258]

No, I'm not exaggerating in the least. A little over two years ago, the girl I was madly in love with and I broke up. Basically, we'd been together for two and a half years, and it got to the point that we either needed to get married or break up. She couldn't say yes, so break up we did. Ever since, not a single aspect of my life has worked. Ever since, I've been in my own personal hell tailored specifically for me. My absolute worst fears have been realized. Every time I've tried to turn things around, I've been slapped down and met with failure. I kept getting back up though, no matter how hard it was. Inevitably, however, I'd get slapped back down as soon as I got up. Today I was hit by the final blow.

Yesterday was the aforementioned girl's birthday. She cares a lot about that day, so I thought I'd just send her an email saying Happy Birthday. This afternoon she replied and said that she's engaged. Though I knew it was a long shot, I'd held out some hope that we'd get back together because of several people I know who broke up and got back together years later. Well, that last little bit of hope was unceremoniously crushed. My faith ran out a long time ago, and all I had left keeping me afloat was that little hope that Stacy would want to get back together. Now that that's gone, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Ah well. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Shaka]

Dude that sucks!

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[falafel]

That really blows saint. Sorry to hear it.

Perhaps virtually filling a few russians' heads with bullets will ease the pain.

[beefytee]

Hang in there and forget about the girl.

There will be other ones if you don't stay too hung up on this one.

[Donuthole]

No, I'm not exaggerating in the least. A little over two years ago, the girl I was madly in love with and I broke up. Basically, we'd been together for two and a half years, and it got to the point that we either needed to get married or break up. She couldn't say yes, so break up we did. Ever since, not a single aspect of my life has worked. Ever since, I've been in my own personal hell tailored specifically for me. My absolute worst fears have been realized. Every time I've tried to turn things around, I've been slapped down and met with failure. I kept getting back up though, no matter how hard it was. Inevitably, however, I'd get slapped back down as soon as I got up. Today I was hit by the final blow.

Yesterday was the aforementioned girl's birthday. She cares a lot about that day, so I thought I'd just send her an email saying Happy Birthday. This afternoon she replied and said that she's engaged. Though I knew it was a long shot, I'd held out some hope that we'd get back together because of several people I know who broke up and got back together years later. Well, that last little bit of hope was unceremoniously crushed. My faith ran out a long time ago, and all I had left keeping me afloat was that little hope that Stacy would want to get back together. Now that that's gone, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Ah well. Thanks for letting me vent.

Sorry to hear it, saint. Keep your head up, and your fortune will turn around soon enough.

[byu71]

I won't bore you with the story of the girl I date after each of her 3 divorces. Each breakup was painful. I had some help from a therapist who helped me breakup with her and we didn't date after her fourth divorce.

Not that this helps or relates to you, but I empathize with your pain. It will pass, but if you want to vent, let it all out.

[Surfah]

Hang in there man.

[Mormon Red Death]

Think of it like this... Summer is over and now its time for Autumn

[I.J. Reilly]

Sorry about your streak of bad luck, saint.

I think beefy's advice is good. Now you know you can finally close that chapter in your life, and not have to wonder about it and let it sit in the back of your mind.

I hope things turn around for you.

[TripletDaddy]

santo, one good thing....you have this place, at least. you have friends here.

[RobinFinderson]

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. I don't really have anything in particular that is the same, but I have something to share. For many years, Faith and I have wanted to have more children. We have been blessed to have the one, Little Robin, but it has now been ten years of hoping with no luck at all. It isn't the same as your situation, but there is one big similarity. Basically the life we had once hoped to have together, complete with a 'full quiver' of little ones, will probably never happen. After many tearful nights and useless doctors' visits, we have made our peace with the reality of the cards that have been dealt to us. More than that, we have made our happiness with the cards that have been dealt to us.

Again, obviously this isn't equivalent, and I hope that sharing our own struggle doesn't contribute to the sadness of your situation. We are blessed more than most everyone in the world, and it would show a big lack of perspective if we couldn't find happiness in our situation. But the expectations of our LDS upbringing, of defining success in life by having a big family (those feelings don't go away), contributed to our sadness. Moreover, our financial situation put all kinds of other options, adoption, fertility clinics (we did Chlomid for a while; can't afford in vitro), painfully out of reach. It took a long time for this sense of disappointment to go away. As part of the LDS culture, we attach so much of our own sense of identity to family.

Anyhow, I didn't want to let your heartfelt post hang there, so I thought I would share some of our own struggles. Thanks for sharing your situation, and I sure hope that you can find the happiness in life that you deserve. I think there is a lot of happiness to be had, but sometimes it comes in forms that are very different than what we had hoped for. Keep an open mind, and try to come to peace with your situation. There is so much about life to enjoy. I hope that doesn't come across as trite or insensitive. Best wishes.

[CardiacCoug]

That sucks.

Hang in there -- things will turn around for you.

[TripletDaddy]

Anyhow, I didn't want to let your heartfelt post hang there, so I thought I would share some of our own struggles. Thanks for sharing your situation, and I sure hope that you can find the happiness in life that you deserve. I think there is a lot of happiness to be had, but sometimes it comes in forms that are very different than what we had hoped for. Keep an mind, and try to come to peace with your situation. There is so much about life to enjoy.

findo, this is a really nice thought. thanks.

[YOhio]

Sorry to hear that, Saint. Hopefully she'll soon be a distant memory.

[Babs]

Once upon a time there was this guy. I was (perhaps literally) crazy in love with the guy. We were together for almost two years. Things got kind of messy, though, and he broke up with me. But somehow it didn't click for me. I thought we were just suffering a brief hiccup or something.

Well, I called a while later to see if he wanted to go do something, but he said he was seeing someone and it was serious. I (stupidly) asked if it was anyone I knew. Well, not only was it anyone I knew, it was a childhood friend and it was her.

Now for the record, babs has never (never not ever) been intimidated by other women. But if, hypothetically speaking, she ever *were* to be intimidated by another woman...a 6'0 amazon beauty queen triple-major who later graduated valedictorian of the whole friggin college and who landed a lead role on Broadway her very first year in town...would probably do the trick. (Not that I'm still bitter.)

So to have my dream of reconcilation come crashing down in that fashion was particularly cruel. I cried for something like three months straight, drowning out my sobs to strains of "I am a Rock" (for a rock feels no pain), and contemplating various means of self-extermination. (n.b.: I can't say I endorse this approach.)

I'm not sure what my point is, except that I think a lot of us have to suffer that kind of loss before we figure out who we are and what it is we really want; and eventually it really does get better. I imagine it's hard to believe that now, but it won't take too long. Hang in there...