Cereal Milk

[smokymountainrain]

For some reason, my wife feels that just because they make the little trays in the door of the fridge big enough to hold milk cartons, we therefore are obliged to place them there. Our home life is a constant battle of me moving milk down to the cool recesses at the bottom of the fridge, and my wife moving them back to the doors.

WTH? My wife does does that too. Pisses me off.

I'll load the doors with all sorts of other stuff, but the woman never seems to get discouraged and the milk always makes it's way back to the doors.

[Pheidippides]

Ahem...

As a well-established resident expert on milk and the procurement and production thereof (assuming we're not talking about human mammary glands, in which case I refer you to Goatnapper and/or Marsupial, depending on your views), I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate the following general acceptable standards of milk usage:

1. Cold is the only way to go unless you are younger than 8 or older than 80. Exceptions made for application in hot beverages such as coffee and its derivatives, hot cocoa, etc.

2. Whole is the preferred milk of choice. Whole milk from a Jersey, Guernsey or Brown Swiss is preferable. Where that is unavailable (and it usually is), locally produced small brand is the preferential choice (raw if you can get it). 2% and 1% are tolerable for fat-conscious persons. Skim can only be used in connection with something else.

3. Milk should be imbibed from a clear glass cup, where possible, unless you are dunking cookies and have an aversion to seeing the cookie crumb floaties.

4. Raw milk is best stored by straining into a well-washed giant glass pickle jar. I don't know why this is true, but it is.

5. It is a well established fact that "manna" is the old Hebrew/Aramaic for "cheese."

6. Experienced cereal eaters know that, given a normal-sized bowl with 2 cups of Cheerios at sea level during the vernal/autumnal equinox, milk should be added until the Cheerios just show a proclivity to float - assuming slightly accelerated rate of consumption because you are late for work, with a teaspoon. Add slightly more if they are going to get soggy (you disgusting pig!), less if you are using a larger spoon. It is acceptable to use raw cream instead of milk only if you are in good health.

7. Under no circumstances should you ever drink milk directly from the cow unless you are a calf or a cat (and the latter only if somebody sprays it in its mouth). Suckling directly because your older brothers' dared you is grounds for extreme humiliation at your wedding (are you listening, little bro?). It is acceptable to fend off bandits, little brothers, snakes, magpies and other vermin with well-placed milk streams.

8. In no event should milk ever be mixed with rice outside of something like a risotto (Japanese corollary). White rice, milk, sugar and spice for breakfast is an abomination before me, and may result in eternal lactose intolerance as a punishment. You have been warned.

[beefytee]

My milk standards:

1. Pasteurized

2. Under $2

[beefytee]

8. In no event should milk ever be mixed with rice outside of something like a risotto (Japanese corollary). White rice, milk, sugar and spice for breakfast is an abomination before me, and may result in eternal lactose intolerance as a punishment. You have been warned.

On my mission we would make a kind of rice porridge that was made from rice and milk.

We would put cinnamon and Asian pears in it.

The American missionaries loved it. The locals couldn't bring themselves to eat it.

[Babs]

My milk standards:

1. Pasteurized

2. Under $2

Under two dollars??? For what - a pint?!

This reminds me of when they ask the presidential candidates to guess the prices of standard grocery items.

[Flystripper]

I always drink it, and with some cereals the milk is the best part.

[Pheidippides]

On my mission we would make a kind of rice porridge that was made from rice and milk.

We would put cinnamon and Asian pears in it.

The American missionaries loved it. The locals couldn't bring themselves to eat it.

This was my mission too. However, I spent the first half of my mission either paired up with a native companion or being the senior companion. So I learned Japan and Japanese food from the Japanese point of view rather than the American missionary point of view (for which I am forever thankful). So when I encountered that monstrosity at just over a year out, I was horrified beyond belief. How dare you desecrate rice like that!

[Flystripper]

8. In no event should milk ever be mixed with rice outside of something like a risotto (Japanese corollary). White rice, milk, sugar and spice for breakfast is an abomination before me, and may result in eternal lactose intolerance as a punishment. You have been warned.

I am sorry rice pudding is delish and may you rot in hell for thinking otherwise.

[marsupial]

Under two dollars??? For what - a pint?!

This reminds me of when they ask the presidential candidates to guess the prices of standard grocery items.

Sometimes I can find a sale and it'll be about $3 a gallon. Normally it is close to $4. Almost double that if you buy organic. It's been a good 6 or 7 years since I have seen milk under $2.

[MarkGrace]

I am sorry rice pudding is delish and may you rot in hell for thinking otherwise.

Seriously! I loved when members gave us that stuff in Mexico. There's even this crappy Mexican brand that I still buy at Safeway.

Also, whole milk is just nasty.

[creekster]

I always drink it, and with some cereals the milk is the best part.

cocoa krispies, for example, are designed to leave a bowl full of chocolate milk. Weren't any of you peopel ever 8 years old?

[TripletDaddy]

I am sorry rice pudding is delish and may you rot in hell for thinking otherwise.

Amen.

rice pudding is ab-fab.

[TripletDaddy]

cocoa krispies, for example, are designed to leave a bowl full of chocolate milk. Weren't any of you peopel ever 8 years old?

I am partial to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I would probably purchase Cinnamon Toast Crunch-flavored milk....and then use it in a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[Pheidippides]

I am sorry rice pudding is delish and may you rot in hell for thinking otherwise.

What kind of rice to you use? If it is sticky/calrose - aka okome (the "o" is necessary in this usage) - I will gladly reciprocate your well wishing. If it is not, I will just patiently ignore you.

[beefytee]

Sometimes I can find a sale and it'll be about $3 a gallon. Normally it is close to $4. Almost double that if you buy organic. It's been a good 6 or 7 years since I have seen milk under $2.

It was about $1.50 here in Utah last year.

At the grocery store I was at on Saturday, I picked some up for $2.08, I believe.

It is getting tougher to find it under $2 per gallon.