Sir and Ma'am

[Guest]

Do those of you who live the South or the southern Plain States raise your kids to say Sir and Ma'ma? What about their classmates, do they use it?

I suppose my question is, will the address continue on through this century or fade away?

[Surfah]

Do those of you who live the South or the southern Plain States raise your kids to say Sir and Ma'ma? What about their classmates, do they use it?

I suppose my question is, will the address continue on through this century or fade away?

I use it in Virginia.

[UtahDan]

I use it in Virginia.

Yeah, me too. I don't think it is expected but it is certainly more polite.

[Surfah]

Yeah, me too. I don't think it is expected but it is certainly more polite.

I remember when I first came home from my mission here to Virginia and I was at the mall shopping when this kid who was probably 2-3 years younger than me came up and asked, "Excuse me sir, but do you have the time?"

I had never felt so old in my life. Then I realized everyone says it.

[Viking]

Sir and Ma'am is the Texas way. And I teach my children to use the same though sadly we are in Yankee lands

[wuapinmon]

Do those of you who live the South or the southern Plain States raise your kids to say Sir and Ma'am? What about their classmates, do they use it?

I suppose my question is, will the address continue on through this century or fade away?

Please see my correction above. My children are asked "Yes what?" if they don't say "sir" or "ma'am." My wife's a Utah girl, but now that she's been around me doing it for going on 12 years, and 7 years with our own kids, she thinks it's really disrespectful when a Southern child, one who knows better, doesn't do it.

I make my nieces and nephews from Utah use honorifics with me. If they say, "Hey, Mac, can I ______?" I don't respond unless they say "Uncle" with my name (unless, of course, if it's an emergency or something serious). If they come to visit me, I tell them that they're under Uncle Mac's Rules, and they have to say "sir" and "ma'am." I enforce it, but not enough to make things awkward. If someone tells my kids, "You don't have to say "Sir or ma'am" to me, especially colleagues who aren't from the South, I tell them, "That's good manners in our culture, and my children have to say it to everyone, without exception." I have one colleague who is from Germany, and insists on my kids not calling her by her last name. They are supposed to call her "Julia." My kids call her Miss Julia, even though she tells them not to. That's polite in the South, I'm Southern, my kids are Southern (and Hispanic), and that's how I'm raising them.

Most Southerners I know (real ones, not jus soli uterine carpet-baggers like Tim), raise their kids that way. Tim, by the way, is Uncle Tim to my kids. He rates above a mere Mr.

So, while some might see the influx of Yankees to the South as changing the culture away from it, I think it's so genteel that their children will wind up picking it up, so as to be polite.

My students all say "Yes, sir" to me. I like it. I'd never correct them if they didn't, but I do like it when they do. Good manners have value.

[Viking]

Please see my correction above. My children are asked "Yes what?" if they don't say "sir" or "ma'am." My wife's a Utah girl, but now that she's been around me doing it for going on 12 years, and 7 years with our own kids, she thinks it's really disrespectful when a Southern child, one who knows better, doesn't do it.

I make my nieces and nephews from Utah use honorifics with me. If they say, "Hey, Mac, can I ______?" I don't respond unless they say "Uncle" with my name (unless, of course, if it's an emergency or something serious). If they come to visit me, I tell them that they're under Uncle Mac's Rules, and they have to say "sir" and "ma'am." I enforce it, but not enough to make things awkward. If someone tells my kids, "You don't have to say "Sir or ma'am" to me, especially colleagues who aren't from the South, I tell them, "That's good manners in our culture, and my children have to say it to everyone, without exception." I have one colleague who is from Germany, and insists on my kids not calling her by her last name. They are supposed to call her "Julia." My kids call her Miss Julia, even though she tells them not to. That's polite in the South, I'm Southern, my kids are Southern (and Hispanic), and that's how I'm raising them.

Most Southerners I know (real ones, not jus soli uterine carpet-baggers like Tim), raise their kids that way. Tim, by the way, is Uncle Tim to my kids. He rates above a mere Mr.

So, while some might see the influx of Yankees to the South as changing the culture away from it, I think it's so genteel that their children will wind up picking it up, so as to be polite.

My students all say "Yes, sir" to me. I like it. I'd never correct them if they didn't, but I do like it when they do. Good manners have value.

There's a line from "No Country for Old Men":

"But I think once you quit hearing "sir" and "ma'am," the rest is soon to foller."

I agree

[Colly Wolly]

I've been thinking about this lately as well. My parents were kind of half-assed about it. My mom was raised in North Carolina, and my dad in Germany. One day when I was ten they decided to institute the yes sir and yes ma'am. We were living in Maryland at the time. They went the wuap route and would make us say it if we forgot. This lasted for a couple years and we moved back overseas. It became harder for them to enforce. It got to the point where they only ever insisted on it if they were pissed off and yelling at us. Flex authority and what not. My kids are 2 and 4 and I am not yet inclined to make it practice in my family.

[marsupial]

My son says it because he has been taught in school. My daughter is too shy to talk to adults, but sometimes she pulls out the sir and ma'am with us.

[Tim]

Please see my correction above. My children are asked "Yes what?" if they don't say "sir" or "ma'am." My wife's a Utah girl, but now that she's been around me doing it for going on 12 years, and 7 years with our own kids, she thinks it's really disrespectful when a Southern child, one who knows better, doesn't do it.

I make my nieces and nephews from Utah use honorifics with me. If they say, "Hey, Mac, can I ______?" I don't respond unless they say "Uncle" with my name (unless, of course, if it's an emergency or something serious). If they come to visit me, I tell them that they're under Uncle Mac's Rules, and they have to say "sir" and "ma'am." I enforce it, but not enough to make things awkward. If someone tells my kids, "You don't have to say "Sir or ma'am" to me, especially colleagues who aren't from the South, I tell them, "That's good manners in our culture, and my children have to say it to everyone, without exception." I have one colleague who is from Germany, and insists on my kids not calling her by her last name. They are supposed to call her "Julia." My kids call her Miss Julia, even though she tells them not to. That's polite in the South, I'm Southern, my kids are Southern (and Hispanic), and that's how I'm raising them.

Most Southerners I know (real ones, not jus soli uterine carpet-baggers like Tim), raise their kids that way. Tim, by the way, is Uncle Tim to my kids. He rates above a mere Mr.

So, while some might see the influx of Yankees to the South as changing the culture away from it, I think it's so genteel that their children will wind up picking it up, so as to be polite.

My students all say "Yes, sir" to me. I like it. I'd never correct them if they didn't, but I do like it when they do. Good manners have value.

Let it be known that I'm one of those people that says "you don't have to call me 'sir'" to Mac's kids. And every time I do, he tells me what he said above.

And also let it be known that I have no interest in forcing unrighteous dominion onto my kids. (Yes, that was a jab. But at a practice, not a person.)

[Clark Addison]

We moved to NC 7 years ago, and even though there are a lot of carpet-baggers like us around here, we hear "sir" and "ma'am" a lot. We do not teach our kids to say it though, because my wife hates it. For some reason, when kids say "sir" or "ma'am", she thinks like it sounds they are sassing. Probably has something to do with her never hearing it much before.

[wuapinmon]

Let it be known that I'm one of those people that says "you don't have to call me 'sir'" to Mac's kids. And every time I do, he tells me what he said above.

And also let it be known that I have no interest in forcing unrighteous dominion onto my kids. (Yes, that was a jab. But at a practice, not a person.)

One man's "unrighteous dominion" is another man's centuries-old tradition of culture and good manners. It's not unrighteous dominion. It is most definitely righteous to teach my children good manners, Tim-san.


I AM NOT PISSED, EVERYONE. TIM IS THE ONLY BROTHER I'VE EVER HAD.

[Tim]

One man's "unrighteous dominion" is another man's centuries-old tradition of culture and good manners. It's not unrighteous dominion. It is most definitely righteous to teach my children good manners, Tim-san.

Dude, no reason to get pissed off.

[wuapinmon]

Dude, no reason to get pissed off.

Why not? You just pissed ON my entire UPBRINGING, CULTURE, AND THE TIME-HONORED TRADITIONS OF MY ANCESTORS. No big whoop.

[Tim]

Why not? You just pissed ON my entire UPBRINGING, CULTURE, AND THE TIME-HONORED TRADITIONS OF MY ANCESTORS. No big whoop.

Dude, no one said anything about slavery, mayonnaise sandwiches, and tobacco dipping.