Thanksgiving stress?

[TripletDaddy]

Pretty fun times here at the FN Phat household. The cousins all play with each other for about 10 minutes. Then someone doesn't share. Someone gets hit. Someone screams. Someone tattles. Repeat all day. But it's good times. My daughter is a wimp and I am hoping this trip toughens her up some. She'll need it with another soon to be here.

The girls have been stressing out getting dinner ready. The boys were all to go golfing today but FN Phat's sister decided to surprise her folks (FN Phat's neighbors) by flying in. So initially my sister was going to Nashville (4 hour drive round trip) to pick her up. However, she's like 8 months pregnant and runs a little home business and is trying to get out a massive order for a customer that came in. Gidget and my mom have been sitting here all day helping her out. So in a good move FN Phat decided to take on that task of picking up his sister and earned us some goodwill and brownie points. So golf is rescheduled for Friday and me and my dad chipped golf balls into a bucket all morning while watching the kids run about outside and our 17lb brisket in the smoker!

we are in full blown snitch mode in our house. It is really troublesome. I wonder if snitching bothers dads more than it bothers moms due to the inherent violation of the Man Code (snitches get stitches).

My daughters are major snitches but I also find my son coming up to me to rat out his sisters.

We used to try to explain to them the concept of snitching/tattling, but truthfully, it is probably really confusing for a small child to grasp the difference between socially acceptable times for snitching (someone is in danger, someone got hurt and needs help, etc) and socially unacceptable moments (so and so called me a name, so and so took my doll without asking).

Here is what we are doing and it seems to be helping: whenever any of the kids snitch, we simply say something like, "OK. Thank you for letting me know." or "I appreciate your letting me know. Thanks." That's it. nothing more, no elaboration. No attempts to adjudicate.

I think it is something the kids have to feel since they are not able to fully reason with words quite yet. We cannot explain to them why we don't like snitching, but they are already learning that if they come to us to get their sibling into trouble, the likelihood of success is very low. I think it has begun to frustrate them a bit, so the instances have declined noticeably. They still do it, but not nearly as often.

[JohnnyLingo]

Pretty fun times here at the FN Phat household. The cousins all play with each other for about 10 minutes. Then someone doesn't share. Someone gets hit. Someone screams. Someone tattles. Repeat all day. But it's good times. My daughter is a wimp and I am hoping this trip toughens her up some. She'll need it with another soon to be here.

My son is a major wimp. We had another couple stay with us a month or so ago, and they brought along their boy who is about the same age as ours. My kid outweighs him by about 10 pounds and is at least two inches taller. Didn't matter. The other kid realized my boy was a wimp and proceeded to own him the entire weekend. Took his toys, knocked him down, pulled his hair, and all my kid would do it is cry about it and come running to either me or his mom.

Ugh. He's probably too young to actively toughen up, but I'll work on that as soon as I can, let me tell you what.

[Surfah]

we are in full blown snitch mode in our house. It is really troublesome. I wonder if snitching bothers dads more than it bothers moms due to the inherent violation of the Man Code (snitches get stitches).

My daughters are major snitches but I also find my son coming up to me to rat out his sisters.

We used to try to explain to them the concept of snitching/tattling, but truthfully, it is probably really confusing for a small child to grasp the difference between socially acceptable times for snitching (someone is in danger, someone got hurt and needs help, etc) and socially unacceptable moments (so and so called me a name, so and so took my doll without asking).

Here is what we are doing and it seems to be helping: whenever any of the kids snitch, we simply say something like, "OK. Thank you for letting me know." or "I appreciate your letting me know. Thanks." That's it. nothing more, no elaboration. No attempts to adjudicate.

I think it is something the kids have to feel since they are not able to fully reason with words quite yet. We cannot explain to them why we don't like snitching, but they are already learning that if they come to us to get their sibling into trouble, the likelihood of success is very low. I think it has begun to frustrate them a bit, so the instances have declined noticeably. They still do it, but not nearly as often.

We've got a little Cindy Brady on our hands. Seriously we need to do more of what you do. I try and I usually don't take any of it because it drives me nuts. And after all day of it I am through and the last thing I want is Gidget to tell me that our daughter just needs my love. <Insert Wuap volcano pic>

[Fiyero]

Silly kids, treating their parents like a Speakeasy.

[JohnnyLingo]

Silly kids, treating their parents like a Speakeasy.

Oh hey, look, it's the taunting that certain members are not fond of.

[falafel]

My wife is stressing about the centerpiece too. Apparently one of our TG guests is a professional floral arranger. After seeing her get so flustered about the planning/making/arranging of the centerpiece, I thoughtlessly asked " Why doesn't the professional take on this project. I bet she could get it done in no time." (I realized what I had done halfway through the sentence...and the "in no time" part fizzled off under my breath)

<EVIL EYE>

I just don't get centerpieces. Once everybody is sitting down to eat...the first thing you do is remove the centerpiece and stuff it out of the way.

Man, your wife sounds like a real b*%#@. I would NEVER spend any time under your roof or sponge of your tour guide services.

Good luck with all that.

[cougjunkie]

I am not stressed one bit. We will go to my in-laws tomorrow around noon, eat around 1, I will leave around 3 and spend the rest of the day at home. Tomorrow morning we do have a turkey bowl planned so that will be fun.

The only stress is not getting to eat any yummy Thanksgiving food as my mother in law is a horrible cook and I dont dare eat anything of hers because every time I do I get violently ill.

[Flystripper]

we are in full blown snitch mode in our house. It is really troublesome. I wonder if snitching bothers dads more than it bothers moms due to the inherent violation of the Man Code (snitches get stitches).

My daughters are major snitches but I also find my son coming up to me to rat out his sisters.

We used to try to explain to them the concept of snitching/tattling, but truthfully, it is probably really confusing for a small child to grasp the difference between socially acceptable times for snitching (someone is in danger, someone got hurt and needs help, etc) and socially unacceptable moments (so and so called me a name, so and so took my doll without asking).

Here is what we are doing and it seems to be helping: whenever any of the kids snitch, we simply say something like, "OK. Thank you for letting me know." or "I appreciate your letting me know. Thanks." That's it. nothing more, no elaboration. No attempts to adjudicate.

I think it is something the kids have to feel since they are not able to fully reason with words quite yet. We cannot explain to them why we don't like snitching, but they are already learning that if they come to us to get their sibling into trouble, the likelihood of success is very low. I think it has begun to frustrate them a bit, so the instances have declined noticeably. They still do it, but not nearly as often.

Our kids were always taught to share from a young age and have very little problem with the concept. They often get very offended by kids that don't share. This results in tattling on those that don't share. For this type of crap I just tell them to work it out. By the time they are 4ish telling them to work it out themselves I think helps them with their problem solving process. I think parents step in too much sometimes. If nobody is in any physical danger let them go and work it out.

[TripletDaddy]

As predicted, burner wars have lead to some thanksgiving day stress.

"I need a burner to make my dish."
"But I need it, too!"
"I'm making something that everyone is going to want. Your stuff isn't probably as important..."
"What do you mean? Everyone likes this!...Don't they?"

Other sources of stress:

one sister (she has the clingy, always crying toddler) took over the main TV downstairs. All the sons-in-law want to watch football. The toddler is watching some cartoon all by himself and the rest of us are upstairs hanging around in the living room.

The newest BIL is from Texas. He just married into the family last month. He made the same mistake I made earlier in my marriage....questioning my MIL's decision to call anything and everything a "salad." She will say that dinner will consist of a main dish and a salad. The salad can be a traditional salad of lettuce/spinach and toppings. But my MIL will cut up an apple and give you a few apple slices. That is a "fruit salad." Sometimes she makes a legit fruit salad, as well. She is a very good cook, but the point is, she calls anything a salad and it is confusing. So my new BIL told her that while jello salad is a "salad" in the Utah sense, when people talk about "salad" with their meal, they are generally not referring to a slice of fruit or a cup of jello. Except, apparently, in Utah. I sat back and only interjected when I saw a clear opportunity to fan flames.

Turkey Bowl trash talk: one of the sons-in-law was the self-appointed QB this morning. We played against some local Lone Peak toughs that were cruising the parks for a pick-up game. Each TD was worth 1 point. We played win by two, cap at 10. We lost 10-9. Our QB threw 3 picks, including one that ended the game. He is kind of a sore loser. A few hours later and he arrives at the house (he went home to shower) and the first thing he says isn't Happy Thanksgiving. He asks why my little BIL dropped a pass sometime in the middle of the game. Spirited discussion ensued.

I wonder how much of holiday related stress is really a mild form of claustrophobia? More people jammed into a kitchen or living room than the normal amount seems to lead to shorter fuses.

ps I made some killer apps. Deviled eggs, date rumaki, and some delish bruschetta (other people made killer apps, too). I lied and told my FIL that the cayenne on the eggs was paprika. He threw down about 4 or 5 eggs over the course of about 10 minutes and then I told him that he was really devouring spicy food (which he claims to hate). All of a sudden he needs a tall glass of water and says that the eggs are too hot to eat.

[Babs]

I sat back and only interjected when I saw a clear opportunity to fan flames.

And here I always thought the TripletDaddy antics were just part of an online persona.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

At my mother's house we usually set up a long rectangular table in the basement to eat dinner around. This usually causes no less than 4 people screaming, 2-10 swear words, and my mother in tears. Yes for one table.

Sure enough, dinner is still 2+ hours from kick off, the table chirping started about an hour and a half ago. I do believe tears were avoided this year, and also in the spirit of using less profanity I only said it was "stupid." This could be a banner year.

The tables are set and up for 30 people, the next 2 hours are going to be awesome!

[Babs]

High stress here at Chez Gordon. Holidays are always like this here because holidays imply food and culinary genius I am not.

I've been appointed to provide my mom's homemade cheesecake this year. This is the one thing that everybody always counts on to be there; and it's the end prize for which we all suffer through the requisite turkey, stuffing, etc.

Well, the thing of it is, nobody other than mom has ever made the thing before. And it turns out it's one of those deals where mom's made it for so long that she doesn't actually know how she makes it. Or she can't describe it, anyway. So even though she gave me an accurate list of everything I would need for the dessert, the entire thing was an unmitigated flop.

So I call mom...

"Mom, the thing didn't turn out right AT ALL. It's all flat and heavy and weird."

"Well, did you whip the milnot?"

"No, you didn't tell me to whip the milnot!"

"Well, there's your problem right there."

"And it seems like it's not thick enough."

"Well, did you refrigerate the jello mix?"

"No, you didn't tell me that either."

"Well, honestly, honey, some things should be obvious."

grrrrr.

[TripletDaddy]

High stress here at Chez Gordon. Holidays are always like this here because holidays imply food and culinary genius I am not.

I've been appointed to provide my mom's homemade cheesecake this year. This is the one thing that everybody always counts on to be there; and it's the end prize for which we all suffer through the requisite turkey, stuffing, etc.

Well, the thing of it is, nobody other than mom has ever made the thing before. And it turns out it's one of those deals where mom's made it for so long that she doesn't actually know how she makes it. Or she can't describe it, anyway. So even though she gave me an accurate list of everything I would need for the dessert, the entire thing was an unmitigated flop.

So I call mom...

"Mom, the thing didn't turn out right AT ALL. It's all flat and heavy and weird."

"Well, did you whip the milnot?"

"No, you didn't tell me to whip the milnot!"

"Well, there's your problem right there."

"And it seems like it's not thick enough."

"Well, did you refrigerate the jello mix?"

"No, you didn't tell me that either."

"Well, honestly, honey, some things should be obvious."

grrrrr.

once you get that worked out, please share the recipe. I love cheesecake...even stressful cheesecake. yum!

[TripletDaddy]

Sure enough, dinner is still 2+ hours from kick off, the table chirping started about an hour and a half ago. I do believe tears were avoided this year, and also in the spirit of using less profanity I only said it was "stupid." This could be a banner year.

The tables are set and up for 30 people, the next 2 hours are going to be awesome!

My MIL has turned into the snack police. When you have thanksgiving dinner at actual "dinner time," snacks are collateral damage. you can't expect people to sit idly by and not eat all day, esp after playing two hours of football in the morning.

She is afraid nobody will eat dinner. I think I hear this every year.

Do you folks eat Thanksgiving dinner at dinner or at early afternoon? Around 2 or so? We have done both. I enjoy eating earlier. Gives you time to digest and eat some more.

[myboynoah]

We have no trouble at major events like Thanksgiving. After years under my tutelage, my wife has become very efficient, scheduling tasks in such a way that everything comes together on time in a seamless fashion. I should write a book.