Thanksgiving stress?

[TripletDaddy]

Has anyone started to experience any Thanksgiving-related dust ups?

Here at the 'laws, we have several folks crammed into the house, including lots of kids, so there seems to be a point in the day when things come to a boil.

Today the stress is ramping up. My MIL claimed that she had a lot of things to do today and my FIL asked what he could do to help (good move). She outlined the things she needed to do and he noted that she was describing about 30 minutes of work, max (while he was correct, NOT a good move).

This quickly turned into a discussion about how men do nothing on Thanksgiving and the women have to do all the work. My FIL is an old school guy so her observations are pretty accurate...dude rarely even takes his own dish to the sink. My wife noted that I cook a lot and not just during Thanksgiving. Obviously, rather than stay silent, I used this as a entry point into the discussion, pointing out to my MIL that her premise was flawed. This pleased my FIL but not my wife (nor my MIL). I made matter worse by expressing relief that I won't have to do a single thing tomorrow.

Meantime, my FIL wanted to show his worth and started to bring in the Christmas village from the garage. This irked my MIL because it created clutter and an unneeded mess. Currently, the discussion centers on whether we need to set up the Christmas stuff now or wait until after Thanksgiving. My wife and I are sitting this one out. Personally, I dont think it is the right time to set up the Christmas village, but hey....this isn't my house!

This is going to be great today. It will get a little more heated as more siblings and spouses/kids show up. They only have one stove and oven and everyone is going to be jockeying for burner time. Also, some of the cousins are biters and hitters, which usually results in entertaining results.

The holidays are awesome!

[LiveCoug]

Today the stress is ramping up. My MIL claimed that she had a lot of things to do today and my FIL asked what he could do to help (good move). She outlined the things she needed to do and he noted that she was describing about 30 minutes of work, max (while he was correct, NOT a good move).

I make this mistake all the time with my wife. She complains that there is soooo much to do and it is so stressing. When she says what it is that needs to be done, I always respond like your FIL. "We can get that done in no time! No big deal! No cause for stress!". Never works.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

At my mother's house we usually set up a long rectangular table in the basement to eat dinner around. This usually causes no less than 4 people screaming, 2-10 swear words, and my mother in tears. Yes for one table.

[TripletDaddy]

At my mother's house we usually set up a long rectangular table in the basement to eat dinner around. This usually causes no less than 4 people screaming, 2-10 swear words, and my mother in tears. Yes for one table.

two years ago we had a big verbal confrontation about the seating arragenments. I think I made a post about it, actually.

one of my wife's sisters sat her toddler at the adult table instead of at the toddler table.

The ensuing confrontation wasn't Battle of Helms Deep bad.......but it was pretty bad. On a scale of dead Orcs, I would give it about a 7.

[smokymountainrain]

This pleased my FIL but not my wife (nor my MIL). I made matter worse by expressing relief that I won't have to do a single thing tomorrow.

The holidays are awesome!

I think it's generally a good idea to side with the FIL, even if not in the short-term, but in the long run it works. Good going.

BTW, has he asked you yet what you thought of the "This Eternal Earth"?

[SeattleUte]

Has anyone started to experience any Thanksgiving-related dust ups?

Here at the 'laws, we have several folks crammed into the house, including lots of kids, so there seems to be a point in the day when things come to a boil.

Today the stress is ramping up. My MIL claimed that she had a lot of things to do today and my FIL asked what he could do to help (good move). She outlined the things she needed to do and he noted that she was describing about 30 minutes of work, max (while he was correct, NOT a good move).

This quickly turned into a discussion about how men do nothing on Thanksgiving and the women have to do all the work. My FIL is an old school guy so her observations are pretty accurate...dude rarely even takes his own dish to the sink. My wife noted that I cook a lot and not just during Thanksgiving. Obviously, rather than stay silent, I used this as a entry point into the discussion, pointing out to my MIL that her premise was flawed. This pleased my FIL but not my wife (nor my MIL). I made matter worse by expressing relief that I won't have to do a single thing tomorrow.

Meantime, my FIL wanted to show his worth and started to bring in the Christmas village from the garage. This irked my MIL because it created clutter and an unneeded mess. Currently, the discussion centers on whether we need to set up the Christmas stuff now or wait until after Thanksgiving. My wife and I are sitting this one out. Personally, I dont think it is the right time to set up the Christmas village, but hey....this isn't my house!

This is going to be great today. It will get a little more heated as more siblings and spouses/kids show up. They only have one stove and oven and everyone is going to be jockeying for burner time. Also, some of the cousins are biters and hitters, which usually results in entertaining results.

The holidays are awesome!

Did you ever read The Secret History? There's a great scene in that book that remins me of this.

[TripletDaddy]

I make this mistake all the time with my wife. She complains that there is soooo much to do and it is so stressing. When she says what it is that needs to be done, I always respond like your FIL. "We can get that done in no time! No big deal! No cause for stress!". Never works.

I make the same mistake but I will never stop trying.

My wife did the same thing today as we were going over our itinerary for the day. She claimed that we had too much to do for the dinner tomorrow. I asked her to elaborate. She is spending about 2 hours making centerpieces that nobody will be able to eat and she feels put out that she also has to make the stuffing (which everyone will eat). I tried to explain to her to ditch the centerpieces and focus on the stuffing because nobody cares about the centerpieces as much as they do the food.

Fast forward to right now...my wife is at the store buying stuff for the centerpieces. I'm at home watching the kids.

[TripletDaddy]

I think it's generally a good idea to side with the FIL, even if not in the short-term, but in the long run it works. Good going.

BTW, has he asked you yet what you thought of the "This Eternal Earth"?

Yes, he did. I tried to be effusive without compromising my personal belief that the Ten Tribes are not in outer space waiting to return to Earth.

I agree about siding with the FIL. Remember the old adage: The FIL signs the will.

[byu71]

One of my friends has called me 4 times this morning reporting on his ongoing battle. He is about 30 with 3 kids under 6. He is going to Mesquite for 4 days next week with our group.

Seems yesterday he said he would tend the kids while she got her hair done. While he was tending, something on a job sight went bad and he called and told her she would have to come home right after the appointment and not go shopping. I guess that has ignited Holy war, with some real bad shots being taken at his preapproved trip next week.

He blew it though. She apologized this morning, but when she asked if he apologizes to, he responded, what for I am in the right on this one. BAD MOVE.

[FMCoug]

Maybe being an orphan is not so bad. We will have TG dinner with 6 people tomorrow. The same 6 we have every meal with.

[Fiyero]

Today the stress is ramping up. My MIL claimed that she had a lot of things to do today and my FIL asked what he could do to help (good move). She outlined the things she needed to do and he noted that she was describing about 30 minutes of work, max (while he was correct, NOT a good move).

This quickly turned into a discussion about how men do nothing on Thanksgiving and the women have to do all the work.

That was the turning point right there: scorekeeping. I've never known a scorekeeper to have peace of mind. "I do more than him. I do more than her. It's all about me." I wish people could humbly ask for help and spare others of the additional commentary.

[TripletDaddy]

Did you ever read The Secret History? There's a great scene in that book that remins me of this.

No. Do you recommend it? This week I am going through a few different books off and on. Now that Rodney Turner's tome is in the round file, I could use a new one to start.

Someone recommended the Dark Tower series (Stephen King) so I have been ripping through The Gunslinger this week. It is a fun read but I am almost done.

[scandell]

My wife is stressing about the centerpiece too. Apparently one of our TG guests is a professional floral arranger. After seeing her get so flustered about the planning/making/arranging of the centerpiece, I thoughtlessly asked " Why doesn't the professional take on this project. I bet she could get it done in no time." (I realized what I had done halfway through the sentence...and the "in no time" part fizzled off under my breath)

<EVIL EYE>




I just don't get centerpieces. Once everybody is sitting down to eat...the first thing you do is remove the centerpiece and stuff it out of the way.

[JohnnyLingo]

I am glad my wife isn't a perfectionist in this area. She actually recognizes it in her own mother and rolls her eyes about it.

Of course, since Thanksgiving is at her parents' this year, her mom has been busy dusting the ceiling fans and washing the ceiling in preparation for the guests. She should be adequately frazzled by the time we show up tonight.

[Surfah]

Pretty fun times here at the FN Phat household. The cousins all play with each other for about 10 minutes. Then someone doesn't share. Someone gets hit. Someone screams. Someone tattles. Repeat all day. But it's good times. My daughter is a wimp and I am hoping this trip toughens her up some. She'll need it with another soon to be here.

The girls have been stressing out getting dinner ready. The boys were all to go golfing today but FN Phat's sister decided to surprise her folks (FN Phat's neighbors) by flying in. So initially my sister was going to Nashville (4 hour drive round trip) to pick her up. However, she's like 8 months pregnant and runs a little home business and is trying to get out a massive order for a customer that came in. Gidget and my mom have been sitting here all day helping her out. So in a good move FN Phat decided to take on that task of picking up his sister and earned us some goodwill and brownie points. So golf is rescheduled for Friday and me and my dad chipped golf balls into a bucket all morning while watching the kids run about outside and our 17lb brisket in the smoker!