This Utefans.net gem made me chuckle.....

[il Padrino Ute]

You're not fat, you are big boned!

[YOUTUBE]DmBeNWZSTPY[/YOUTUBE]

[KillerDog]

You're not fat, you are big boned!

IDK, that looks a little fat.

[Goatnapper'96]

IDK, that looks a little fat.

It was a cold day man. He was wearing 3 sweatshirts and everyone knows the camera adds about 20, check that, 50 lbs.

[KillerDog]

It was a cold day man. He was wearing 3 sweatshirts and everyone knows the camera adds about 20, check that, 50 lbs.

To steal from Friends, how many cameras were on him?

[Colly Wolly]

Agreed. There's nothing less tolerant of opposing ideas than active LDS Ute fans. We see that here. They're always the ones who go crazy. They're so full of self-contradiction and guilt complex it's sad. You can't love the LDS Church and hate BYU.

This is your best post to date. Well done.

[ewth8tr]

Some challenges have gone on here that simply cannot go unanswered.

I am Mr. Crimson

For the record, I have not told anyone to lick my balls in over a year. Its part of a 12 step program. When Funk posted I often called him a Zoob, which I thought he was till Boylen Over started posting and I found out what a Zoob really was. (do people here get sarcasm or does this require a smiley face)

Further, if I'm being called unfunny by Seattle Ute and that sentiment is joined by some militarish Ute fan who as far as I can tell never saw a war zone and a Zoob calling me a dumbass, well I wear that as a badge of honor.

Now any Zoob still calling me a dumbass is simply suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the many years I forced you all to wear your asses like hats. If it makes things better, I'm sorry, I had anger issues and y'all just don't get smak talk.

And I'm not sure what a Johnny Lingo is but he would be wise to steer clear, sure I haven't brought the true smak in awhile but I suspect its like the U.S. before WWII, if you attack you'll do nothing but wake a sleeping giant.

And as for giant, you'll be tempted to make fat jokes because generally its all you have left after tangling with me. Get them in now, I'm having surgery and in six months you won't have even that.

However, I would like to say that in the end, I come in peace. I believe certain things should be mocked into the ground, like a 17 year old having a publicist, or a BYU recruit announcing his decision in a bar. On the other hand I will say that I saw Heaps play personally and he is the real deal.

So I leave it to you. I seek a new beginning as I am about to be a father of a boy. The decision is in your hands.

Hey man, welcome. I will say in Mr C's defense that CJF, Bernard, Tim and I hung out a bit at the 2004 BYU/Utah tailgate and he was cool with us.

[Mr. Crimson]

And from the looks of it...

It was a cold day man. He was wearing 3 sweatshirts and everyone knows the camera adds about 20, check that, 50 lbs.

It seems as if there were four or five cameras on me. However what I miss most about you Goat, the term "buttcleavage."

[Goatnapper'96]

Hey man, welcome. I will say in Mr C's defense that CJF, Bernard, Tim and I hung out a bit at the 2004 BYU/Utah tailgate and he was cool with us.

Mister Crim and Tim...throw in Jake Schoff and one would have the greatest triumvirate of buttcrack cleavage owners in the history of the processed foods world!

[PaloAltoCougar]

Hey man, welcome. I will say in Mr C's defense that CJF, Bernard, Tim and I hung out a bit at the 2004 BYU/Utah tailgate and he was cool with us.

I agree with this. I've confessed this sin before, but in '05 I abdicated my fatherly duties and actually introduced my youngest daughter to Mr. C while standing on the Ute pirate ship. The ensuing disciplinary council acquitted me, but only on condition that I read Elder Mark E. Peterson's Virtue Makes Sense! five times.

One of the eternal truths of these boards is that meeting people in the flesh (well, flesh draped in whatever the situation requires--I look resplendent in a billowy caftan) almost always eliminates all of the negatives associated with a board persona. Personally, I liked Mr. C before the meeting, and left the meeting in his thrall.

[Jarid in Cedar]

In my more vulgar days I would have referred to him as "a loud mouth buttf'r".

i would probably pay $50 to see you say that in person. You could make it a PPV event even. (gotta think outside the box in this tough economy)

I don't know why, but except for the golf course or in a poker game, the F word rarely comes out of my mouth. I think it is because of my respect for women and they are always around except on the course and at the poker game.

I found CatBlue to have been quite feminine, kind of like a poster we have on this board, therefor I am not sure I could blurt out the word in front of him.

Simply because it reminds me of something my Grandpa would have said, and frankly, I really miss the old bastard

[cruelute]

tanks

I haven't enjoyed a byu/utah thread in a long time. back to lurking, now.

[YOhio]

I haven't enjoyed a byu/utah thread in a long time. back to lurking, now.

No lurking allowed buddy. Get to posting!

[RockyBalboa]

Hey Crim welcome man. We've gone our rounds in the past, and the stuff politically on UFN a couple months ago was just me messing around, so no hard feelings.

I believe in fresh starts, so stick around and join the community. It's good to have you here.

[byu71]

I ask in the first sentence if this board understood sarcasm or do I need the smiley face. I try to make friends in what I thought was a humorous way and I get to deal with Mr. Grumpy here.

Since it seems I don't know who this douche is but it seems I urinated in his cheerios, let me say this. I'm sorry that I made you cry at some point in a past life. Feel free to move on.

Further let me issue this as a blanket apology to those who want to start things. I come to discuss sports alone. Is that good enough?

I have thought it over and decided to welcome you with open arms. However, I have one request. Your post reminded me why I don't go to the Utefan board anymore.

It seems the favorite word "de jour" on Utefan is "douche". Like a bunch of schoolkids everyone uses it. Someone who posts it, I automatically in my mind see the little nerd kid who was trying to get accepted. He didn't realize all the "in" kids had moved on to asswipe, f..wad, or frickin bung hole.

Note: I didn't call you a little nerd kid. Just said you bring with you the stupid word all of your cohorts are attached to on Utefan.

[Flattop]

I ask in the first sentence if this board understood sarcasm or do I need the smiley face.

Honestly? I think I might need the smiley face.