Utah has a team, meh. Chicago has Bedard: the 2024-2025 NHL Thread

[beefytee]

It has been so fun this year with UHC. With them being close to a wild card spot there is a pre-playoff intensity, where every game matters.

I'm glad I got tickets this year. I'm renewing for next year.

Can't wait until they make the playoffs. Might not be this year, but hopefully soon.

[Shaka]

I think UHC is exceeding expectations. Nice little run since the all start break.

[MartyFunkhouser]

As frustrating as this season has been and even more frustrating the deadline, that game tonight was fun as hell. Bedard showed the flashes that have been missing.

[MartyFunkhouser]

https://indiansports24.com/netflix-a...Im8hoYZPE65fow

[MartyFunkhouser]

The NHL is effing bullshit. People commit penalties constantly against Bedard. He never gets calls. Breathe near Cellebrini and you get a call.

[MartyFunkhouser]

Seriously, bullshit. Clear uncalled trip against Bedard. He calls them on their bullshit, and they give him a 10 minute misconduct. I don't get it.

[MartyFunkhouser]

i'm a little proud right now of the AI that I have trained and the trial of Raffi Torres that it wrote.

Torres v. Everyone: Tribunal of Reckoning
Location: The Subterranean Chamber of Unforgiven Hits, Hockey Justice Complex
Presiding Chief Justice: Duncan Keith (gavel is his Norris Trophy with bloodstains from 2012)
Associate Justices: Scott Niedermayer (skating quiet figure-eights) and Dustin Byfuglien (seated backwards in his chair, chewing gum aggressively)
Bailiff: Tie Domi (no leash, no rules)
Stenographer: Jaromír Jágr’s sentient mullet (still flawless)

---

Bailiff Domi (grinning): “All rise for the Tribunal of Reckoning. Torres, don’t look at me like that—I’ve got 12 games left in me, and they’re all aimed at your neck.”

Chief Justice Keith (deadpan):
“This tribunal is convened to determine whether Raffi Torres is guilty of egregious and repeated crimes against hockey, against decency, and against me personally.”

Torres (rolling eyes):
“Still holding a grudge, Keith?”

Keith (leaning forward, voice low):
“You cheap-shotted Hossa in 2012. He didn’t get up. I’ve been holding that since the moment his head hit the ice. Now shut up and listen.”

Justice Niedermayer (soft-spoken):
“We have reviewed the footage. We have reviewed all the footage. This isn’t a hockey player on trial. This is a cruise missile in shoulder pads.”

Prosecutor Jarome Iginla (lighting a torch of moral clarity):
“Mr. Torres, your ‘finishing checks’ have finished careers. Let’s walk through the evidence:

• Marian Hossa: stretchered off.
• Jordan Eberle: concussed.
• Milan Michalek: decapitated metaphorically, nearly literally.
• Jarret Stoll: forgot his birthday for three years.
• Jakob Silfverberg: you made his name sad to say.”

Justice Byfuglien (swiveling his chair):
“Do you know how hard it is to make me wince? I liked hitting people. But even I watched you and thought, ‘Maybe that guy needs a timeout and a mirror.’”

Torres (shrugging):
“Hossa had his head down.”

**Suddenly—**a hush falls. The air turns crisp.
Enter Marian Hossa, gliding down the aisle like a living glacier of vengeance.

Hossa (calm but devastating):
“I never played the game to injure. I played to control it. You played to destroy it. You weren’t physical. You were reckless. And the game has no place for you.”

Keith (without breaking eye contact):
“Do you know what it’s like to see your teammate go limp? To know a Cup run might end because some clown wanted to ‘make a statement’? I do. And I never forgot.”

Judgment Time.

Keith:
“This tribunal finds you guilty on all charges. Your sentence:

• Lifetime ban from contact drills, even in video games.
• Assignment to ref mites games in Saskatoon without skates or a whistle.
• Permanent placement on the ‘Do Not Invite’ list for all alumni events, fantasy leagues, and barbecue group texts.
• And once a week, you must publicly apologize to Hossa in three languages.”

Byfuglien:
“Oh—and you only get to tape your stick with duct tape. No grip. Ever.”

Niedermayer:
“We recommend soul searching. Or knitting.”

Keith (gavel slam, voice like cold steel):
“Torres, court is adjourned. Get out of our game.”

[MartyFunkhouser]

Congrats, Ovi. The greatest goal scorer of all time. Classy guy as well. It was fun to see the teams hold back and all the Blackhawks shaking his hand. It had to be pretty exciting for all the really young Blackhawks players.

On the negative side, I am so effing done with the way this Blackhawks team is officiated. Under no circumstances will they call a penalty against what anyone does to Bedard. Contrast the hold on Bedard (which led to Ovi's record setting goal), to the holding the stick against Nazar towards the end of the game. It has been unreal this year. I've never seen anything like this year with the league effing over Chicago with officiating. Unreal shit.

[Clark Addison]

Congrats, Ovi. The greatest goal scorer of all time. Classy guy as well. It was fun to see the teams hold back and all the Blackhawks shaking his hand. It had to be pretty exciting for all the really young Blackhawks players.

On the negative side, I am so effing done with the way this Blackhawks team is officiated. Under no circumstances will they call a penalty against what anyone does to Bedard. Contrast the hold on Bedard (which led to Ovi's record setting goal), to the holding the stick against Nazar towards the end of the game. It has been unreal this year. I've never seen anything like this year with the league effing over Chicago with officiating. Unreal shit.

I don't want to be a name-dropper here but Ovi and I have the same favorite sushi restaurant.

I spend most weeks these days up in the DC area for work. I like sushi a lot and there is a good place nearby where I stay so I am in there for dinner at least once a week, often twice. They know me well by now and give me free desserts and stuff. I've kind of assumed I am their #1 customer.

I am usually in the office until 7:00 or so, so I eat late. Back during that four nations tournament, I went in earlier on the night of the finals so I could get back to watch it. The waitress said "Oh, you're here early tonight!" and I mentioned that I was going to watch a hockey game. She replied "Oh, you like hockey? You know Alex Ovechkin? he eats here a couple of times a week". Unfortunately, due to his schedule, he is usually in there for lunch, so I have never seen him.

Also, I guess I am just the #2 customer at this place (hopefully).

If anyone is ever in NoVa and hoping to run into Ovi, let me know and I will tell you the restaurant he may be at.

[MartyFunkhouser]

I know what they won't do it, but the Blackhawks should hire the Q-Stache this off-season. Also, Utah will be absolutely insane if they can get the Q-Stache and don't hire him. He would be the perfect coach to lead that team

[MartyFunkhouser]

Ovi passes Gretzky. Greatest goal scorer of all time. Fun watching him take the record. Beautiful goal too

[falafel]

Ovi passes Gretzky. Greatest goal scorer of all time. Fun watching him take the record. Beautiful goal too

Like Captain America, a new man takes on the mantle "The Great One".

[beefytee]

They may make the playoffs. I think they are borderline. Unless they get a much stronger defense though, they aren’t having any success in the playoffs.

Ingram seems to be a much better goalie than Vejmalka.

So, they didn't make the playoffs, being mathematically eliminated tonight.

I figured if they stayed relatively healthy, they had a chance at the playoffs and their injuries weren't too bad, but losing Guenther for a chunk and Ingram for the last half here probably did make a difference given they are just a few points out. But injuries (or unavailability in Ingrams case) are going to happen during the season and they did not get more than their fair share.

I've thoroughly enjoyed the season and renewed my tickets for next year. Hopefully they raise the ice surface in this off season, so I don't have to lean forward as much during the game.

I don't think there is any reason to make major changes to the players this off season, just some tweaks. They did acquire a good defenseman after my post above and it helped. They are a young, maturing team that needs a year or two to really hit their stride. I will be somewhat patient.