October 2019 General Conference

[Commando]

What differences seem to be significant?

Well. I see a difference between being asked if you are honest in your dealings with your fellow man and striving to be honest in all that you do. The latter is very forgiving.

[clackamascoug]

Dear President Bednar,

The Elders in my district are all fire and brimstone this P-Day morning. Conference caught hold their hearts, and they're ready to not only convert the wicked in our district, but they want to exact revenge on mothers in the branch for being late for the Sacrament. So - for our district meeting tomorrow - I'm going to take them to see Downton Abbey at the Baghdad Theater to bring them back down a notch or two. It's a balance to be sure - that Michelle Dockery is a fine looking woman and will bring out their lustful nature, and yet she's wholesome enough to bring home to mother. I just want my Elders to be on an even keel and know that the love of Jesus in their heart is number one - and when they've accomplished that - they'll be less likely to stir up trouble with the local members. Downton Abbey is just the ticket.

I appreciate you sending Elder Funk to be my companion as a last measure before sending him home in disgrace. I'm not sure he's making any progress under my stewardship. This past week I caught him looking at magazine covers in the grocery store, and he asked if it was OK to buy a People Magazine. I told him no - but I let him get a comic book with some Japanese animal people stuff. Something about the kids game "hide and seek." I don't know - he's disconcerting - his prayer's are all over the place, and half the time he just says amen at the end - like some sort of feral cat. At a dinner appointment last week he was looking at the daughter of Brother and Sister Zingelmeyer like he was Aqua Lung, and his nose started to run, and he didn't even wipe it away. And yet - I've come to love him. Not because Jesus says I'll go to hell if I don't - but he bakes the most delicious Bundt Cake - and gives me the most sublime back rubs. Don't send him home just yet - I think I can help him more.

Say hello to Sister Bednar for me, and tell her that her testimony at the latest Zone Conference was most appreciated.

Regards,

elder clackamascoug

[Pelado]

It shouldn't. Stop being lazy and get up on time.

No.

wow, that is a lot.

we have 2 deacons, next year we will have 3.

Similar for our ward. Often have MP's passing.

[BigFatMeanie]

Being irritated that the same people repeatedly come to church late, whether church is at 9, 10:30, or 12:00 p.m., and still being glad those late people came even if they're late, are not mutually exclusive.

[Moliere]

I have never seen one of our deacons go back for bread and take it to someone who is late in a case like this.

Me neither. We once had some people show up late and miss the sacrament. After the meeting they came up to the stand and asked if they could partake of the sacrament. I said “sure, follow me” and I went over to the sacrament altar and grabbed a bread and water tray and held it out. They seemed to be taken back as they explained they were expecting a sort of quasi ceremony in a separate room. I explained that the emblems were blessed already and it would be just as effective like this than in a separate service. They took the bread and water and then went to SS class.

[Moliere]

It shouldn't. Stop being lazy and get up on time.

I haven’t been late to church in 19.5 years and none of my kids have been late either. I don’t care if people with small children are late.

[clackamascoug]

Careful there, amigo. You are going to dislocate your shoulder patting yourself on the back like that.

What are you talking about? I've never been on time once in the last twenty three years.

I'm trying to get someone to cook me breakfast.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Me neither. And I don't ever foresee it happening in our ward. The bishopric is trying to reduce the time it takes to pass as much as possible.

They even tell the deacons to not come up to the front and relieve any teachers from passing duty when they show up after the opening hymn has started because of the disruption.

We have 24 deacons and 12 that pass. Them not showing up on time is an issue. Next year we will have 35 deacons and move to 10:30, so I imagine we shouldn't have any problem having 12 show up on time.

Yeah, we have a big ward too and it takes forever to pass the sacrament. They don't finish until 30-35 minutes into the meeting, leaving precious little time for talks. Would be incredibly selfish for someone to delay it further.

[Jeff Lebowski]

What a bunch of angry old men - and their love of being on time. I'm glad people come to church, and if they're a little late - I'm still glad they came. Part of my service to the church is to accommodate people on their level. Since I'm a future celestial being in training I understand that I'm in control of me - and my job is to help others to eventually become as cool as I am.

Careful there, amigo. You are going to dislocate your shoulder patting yourself on the back like that.

[clackamascoug]

What a bunch of angry old men - and their love of being on time. I'm glad people come to church, and if they're a little late - I'm still glad they came. Part of my service to the church is to accommodate people on their level. Since I'm a future celestial being in training I understand that I'm in control of me - and my job is to help others to eventually become as cool as I am. Ridiculing and belittling is not part of the Jesus code of grown men. If you need them on time to satisfy your souls - show up at their house and get their kids dressed for them and warm up their car. Maybe if you got there a little early - you could also serve them breakfast.

We had a lady in our ward that dressed her kids on Saturday night and let them sleep in their clothes so they be ready in the morning. They all looked wrinkled - but they were on time.

[Eddie]

wow, that is a lot.

we have 2 deacons, next year we will have 3.

Yeah - this is us too. In combination, we typically have enough YM to do the sacrament themselves. But sometimes we get an elder to help. That means 2-3 priests at the table and 5-6 other YM passing.

[BigPiney]

Me neither. And I don't ever foresee it happening in our ward. The bishopric is trying to reduce the time it takes to pass as much as possible.

They even tell the deacons to not come up to the front and relieve any teachers from passing duty when they show up after the opening hymn has started because of the disruption.

We have 24 deacons and 12 that pass. Them not showing up on time is an issue. Next year we will have 35 deacons and move to 10:30, so I imagine we shouldn't have any problem having 12 show up on time.

wow, that is a lot.

we have 2 deacons, next year we will have 3.

[beefytee]

I have never seen one of our deacons go back for bread and take it to someone who is late in a case like this.

Me neither. And I don't ever foresee it happening in our ward. The bishopric is trying to reduce the time it takes to pass as much as possible.

They even tell the deacons to not come up to the front and relieve any teachers from passing duty when they show up after the opening hymn has started because of the disruption.

We have 24 deacons and 12 that pass. Them not showing up on time is an issue. Next year we will have 35 deacons and move to 10:30, so I imagine we shouldn't have any problem having 12 show up on time.

[snowcat]

I have never seen one of our deacons go back for bread and take it to someone who is late in a case like this.

Neither have I.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I have never seen one of our deacons go back for bread and take it to someone who is late in a case like this.