How orthodox were you as a missionary

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  • NorthShoreCoug
    Junior Member
    • Mar 2009
    • 327

    #16
    I saw the rules as guidelines that should be kept unless there was a good reason not to. "Because I felt like it" was not a good reason.

    That said, some of the missionary leadership (APs, ZLs) thought I was a rebel.

    In my mission in the Philippines, you were expected to be on the streets working at 6:30 a.m., and then come in for breakfast at 9:30 a.m. One morning, we returned to our apartment about 15 minutes early to find one of our ZLs and one of the APs waiting to go on splits with us (unannounced). The AP chewed us out for coming in early. He insisted that a good missionary leaves at 6:30, not 6:35, and comes in for breakfast at 9:30, not 9:25, not 9:35. My companion and I let him know we thought he was an idiot, that the most important thing in that regard was to put in a full day's work, and the schedule needed to be flexible to the situation. We also pointed out that by leaving the apartment at 5:45 a.m. to teach seminary, we'd already broken the rule, so maybe we wouldn't do that anymore.

    About 6 months later, my companion got sick one Monday evening (Mondays were p-days) with a very swollen neck. Our landlord was a doctor and suspected it might be mumps, and he advised us to go into Tacloban to a certain hospital to have him looked at. But Tacloban was not in our zone. That fact didn't seem very important to me, so Tuesday morning, we went to the hospital in Tacloban. As we left the hospital, we thought we'd take advantage of the situation and buy some ice cream (which was hard to find in the Philippines) at the shop right across from the hospital. As we come out of the shop, who should we run into but the ZLs of the Tacloban zone.

    They railed on us pretty good and reported us to the MP. In my next weekly letter to the MP, I wrote a rambling tirade about pharisees and saducees. At the time, communications in the Philippines were mostly pretty primitive. We had no phone in our apartment, there was no telegram office in our town. To truly keep the rules in the situation was pretty much impossible. To contact our ZLs, we would either have to take a 4 hr bus ride to their apartment, or taken a bus to the nearest town and send them a telegram and then wait for a reply - either of which would have broken the rule about leaving our area without ZLs permission. Or we could have kept the rules and gone to the small, dirty hospital with poorly trained personnel in our little town. (The Tacloban hospital had a large staff of American- and Australian-trained doctors, and much better equipment.) I asked the MP in my letter what I should've done.

    Even after I tried to explain all this to the Tacloban ZLs (and believe me, you couldn't miss my comp's swollen neck), they still gave me grief. On the other hand, my mission president's next communication was simply "you did right, thanks for all you do, and keep up the good work".
    Last edited by NorthShoreCoug; 06-17-2009, 05:02 AM.

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    • doctorcoug
      To Win is to Honor Him
      • Jun 2009
      • 2273

      #17
      Originally posted by grapevine View Post
      When I first went out was told not to stress over the rules. Good advice as people like that care more about policies than people and are hard to work with sometimes. I do know of missionaries with nervous breakdowns stressing over everything in the mission field. Those that are upset over waiting too long for tradeoffs to show up, staying 61 minutes at dinner, losing sight for a few seconds, going berserk.

      One ap came to a zone development meeting and said we will write in our white weekly every time we get done with an activity we will not murmur and you will do this you will do that. I was determined not to do anything to show him. Quoted the 121st section of the Doctrine and Covenants though he did not live it. Said we lost trust when baptisms went down. Heard he told people that didn't do weeklies basically writing everything they did every second they didn't have strong testimonies.

      APs that went out of there way to keep rules heard were told by GA not to aspire to positions.

      There are reasons for rules. But I would not pass up desert to keep the hour rule unless I had somewere to go. Those without people skills hurt the work more I think. Once when an ap said you are only there for an hour I reminded him a former comp of times he was there longer. Said wasn't rude like possibly aspiring ap. Another miss said that was right.

      I mean Keep rules but no reason to stress over them or freak out over them. Some were as bad as they could be without being sent home. Some thought rules were stupid don't follow such as dressing up for pday to go shopping. I know missionaries that ran into mps wife dressed like that left in a hurry. And a few unfortuntly to get sent home for rules breaches if they are on probation. Has to be repeated or pretty bad to be sent home. But are there those that stressed so much lost purpose. I wanted to keep most rules but didn't freak out over it. Would not refuse to go in home alone of opposite sex though I tried to avoid it in advance. Tell someone to shut off tv. Did shop during week at times. Some how bad can they be and be good others don't freak out others disobedient.

      How straighlaced were you with mission rules.
      My trainer had a girlfriend that he met on his mission (and started "dating") at our apartment the first week I was there. I called the president after talking with him about it...I guess I was a punk.
      "Don't expect I'll see you 'till after the race"

      "So where does the power come from to see the race to its end...from within"

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      • NorthShoreCoug
        Junior Member
        • Mar 2009
        • 327

        #18
        Originally posted by il Padrino Ute View Post
        ...

        I honestly believe that only murder or fornication would have been enough to send a missionary home. There was one elder who witnessed his companion masturbating one night and immediately called the MP. The MP only told the elder "thanks for letting me know." That was it until the next zone conference when the MP said "Elders - and Sisters too - you were called to serve a mission here in Italy. While here, you are on the Lord's time. Masturbate on your time - which isn't until you've completed the mission."
        LOL.

        I'm not sure how I would have reacted to seeing one of my companions masturbating, I'm just glad I never did.

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        • doctorcoug
          To Win is to Honor Him
          • Jun 2009
          • 2273

          #19
          Originally posted by il Padrino Ute View Post
          Mission rules are merely suggestions.

          That was it until the next zone conference when the MP said "Elders - and Sisters too - you were called to serve a mission here in Italy. While here, you are on the Lord's time. Masturbate on your time - which isn't until you've completed the mission."
          I'd love to see the face of some of the sisters in my mission of our MP had said that...priceless.
          "Don't expect I'll see you 'till after the race"

          "So where does the power come from to see the race to its end...from within"

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          • Surfah
            Where's Wallace?
            • Nov 2008
            • 33726

            #20
            I was a spirit of the law missionary but there were times when I was a hard ass.
            "Nobody listens to Turtle."
            -Turtle
            sigpic

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            • Surfah
              Where's Wallace?
              • Nov 2008
              • 33726

              #21
              Too funny Padrino. My MP always referred to it as a personal problem. So it was always funny to hear the MP describe a missionary with that. One thing I appreciated about my MP is that he'd tell the ZL's in ZLC's exactly what a missionary did to get sent home. He said that the whole mission would be talking about it anyway, so he'd rather dispell rumors and speculation.
              "Nobody listens to Turtle."
              -Turtle
              sigpic

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              • Swimmer
                The "Open Book" Member
                • Feb 2009
                • 180

                #22
                Following the rules wasn't a big issue for me, but I didn't stay the entire two years. I didn't actually get sent home - I left on my own, but I was in no shape to be there and anyone with a brain could see it. I had crossed the emotional breaking point and needed some serious help. While my mission was a disaster for the most part, I had one experience that almost made the entire thing worthwhile - watching my mission president break down in tears telling me he had never had a missionary go home early and wasn't about to have me be the first. I fully realize that I can be an ASS, but a 60 year old MP trying to guilt me into staying in Ohio by bawling like a baby calf was simply not going to change my mind. I finally convinced him that it was time for me to go, but it took while. I haven't spoken to him since, and don't plan to.
                “According to the teachings of Buddhism, the worst thing that you can do to your karma is to say to someone else that their faith is bad”

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                • byu71
                  Senior Member
                  • Nov 2008
                  • 22070

                  #23
                  I am sure we could all share a million stories. My first DL came in and ordered me to give him any pictures of my girlfriend and he would let me have them on Mon. I complied. My companion, who I credit for making it so I lasted the first month and got the spirit, told me the guy was an ass and not to worry about him. On diversion day, that's what we called it, the DL turned into even a worse jerk. He gave me my girlfriends picture and then asked what kind of action I had gotten from her. He then told us how he would love to find a chick with big hooters and rub his head in between them. I wanted to beat the hell out of the guy, but my companion convinced me I would see worse and I did.

                  I don't want to leave it at that. I admired and respected 99% of the missionaries I dealt with. I and they pretty much followed the rules. Some of the more gung ho Elders would refer to me as a "gentile" Elder, primarily because I would wear ties other than black.

                  I did find following mission rules had no correlation to Baptisms. I won't bore you with the story, but two of the biggest baptizers in the mission were two of my biggest problems when I was a Zone Leader.

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                  • LA Ute
                    Receiver of Memory
                    • Nov 2008
                    • 19512

                    #24
                    Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
                    I think the most upset I ever got on my mission was when we were caught in a rain storm on our way to our mamita's house. Our schedule was to eat dinner at 9:30 p.m. after our day's work had ended. Well, we ended up getting there at about 9:55. We had just hiked about 3 miles in the pouring rain, were soaked to the bone, and our mamita had a nice plate of beans, eggs, fried plantains, and MorCafe (burnt-corn coffee) waiting for us. We started eating, and my companion got up after two minutes and said "Elder, let's go. We've got to be in our house by 10:00."

                    I knew he was a straight arrow, but I was seriously shocked. I told him I would go home when I had completed my meal, and he turned and left without me. I got up to go after him, then decided I didn't care and sat back down to finish eating. When I got back to our house, he had the mission president on the line. The mission president gave me a mini lecture about never leaving my companion (he left me!) and then said he understood why I didn't want to leave my uneaten meal, and try to work it out with Elder Vargas.

                    It was all I could do not to beat the crap out of Vargas that night.
                    That guy sounds familiar . . . maybe everyone had at least one companion like that. I did. Mine refused to speak English when we were out of the house. It was not a mission rule, but he felt Spanish-only was more in the spirit of true commitment. I didn't mind all that much because my Spanish was much better than his and I enjoyed speaking it, but there were times when we just needed to communicate clearly and quickly in English.

                    He also loved to walk very fast. That was another way he felt he could demonstrate extra commitment. I met a few elders like that.

                    The funny thing was, we were ZLs, and I was the senior. So I kind of humored him, but we did not do things his way. We walked at a normal, somewhat brisk pace. I think it really bothered him.

                    Were you in Central America? That dinner menu sounds very familiar!
                    “There is a great deal of difference in believing something still, and believing it again.”
                    ― W.H. Auden


                    "God made the angels to show His splendour - as He made animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity. But men and women He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of their minds."
                    -- Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons


                    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
                    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

                    Comment

                    • JohnnyLingo
                      La Naranja
                      • Nov 2008
                      • 3976

                      #25
                      Originally posted by LA Ute View Post
                      He also loved to walk very fast. That was another way he felt he could demonstrate extra commitment. I met a few elders like that.
                      In my mission, the fast walkers were made AP's. Going on splits with those guys was insane.... Antananarivo is built on a series of hills, so essentially you're either walking up or down 90% of the time. Made for strong legs, that's for sure, but even if you were used to it, working with the fast walkers was tough.

                      I went through periods of extreme dedication to the rules and times where I wasn't as obedient. Like most here, I found zero correlation between rule keeping and success.

                      That said, I was in general happier when I was completely focused on the work and keeping the rules. I felt like I was out there to work my butt off, and if I wasn't doing that, I was letting myself down.

                      Comment

                      • Jeff Lebowski
                        Corporate lackey for Jesus
                        • Nov 2008
                        • 69601

                        #26
                        You people obviously haven't read those wonderful books by Grant Von Harrison.
                        "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                        "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                        "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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                        • RockyBalboa
                          Banned
                          • Nov 2008
                          • 2127

                          #27
                          I mostly obeyed the rules, but didn't stress out about them either and as my mission progressed I became less worried about not following the letter of the law in that regard, and just went with my gut.

                          There were times when I felt some missionaries went over the line and I refused to participate, but I wasn't the kind of dick that would rat them out or give them crap, I would just quietly do my own thing and they respected me for that.

                          I was friends with just about every companion I had out there and really enjoyed my time.

                          I hated being in leadership.....HATED IT....was a ZL for 7 months and there were some missionaries that when I was first put would do everything in their power to see if I'd be "That guy" that would rat them out. I just decided to be their friend instead and when something would I arise, we'd just talk about it privately and I rarely felt the need to get the Mission President involved. There were a couple of times where my hand was forced and I had no choice, especially when I didn't feel comfortable about something, but overall following the rules were something I tried doing mostly out of respect for my Mission President. He was a genuine good man that I loved very much and respected.
                          Last edited by RockyBalboa; 06-17-2009, 07:40 AM.

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                          • JohnnyLingo
                            La Naranja
                            • Nov 2008
                            • 3976

                            #28
                            Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                            You people obviously haven't read those wonderful books by Grant Von Harrison.
                            Oh, I have.

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                            • Pheidippides
                              Liberal Feminazi
                              • Nov 2008
                              • 14759

                              #29
                              Straight arrow. The worst thing I ever did was sleep in until 6:20 once. I used to feel bad for coming back home to the apartment at 8:30 to have dinner because it wasn't effective to work past that time unless I had an appointment.

                              Funny thing is, my MP was really laid back and cool. One guy got sent home but he needed to be. The pressure to keep rules like I did was all self-generated.

                              Over a decade later, I think I was an uptight ass.





                              <don't waste that hanging curve, guys>
                              Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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                              • Fiyero
                                Banned
                                • Nov 2008
                                • 5266

                                #30
                                Originally posted by pellegrino View Post
                                Unbelievable, simply unbelievable. I wouldn't have done it and if someone had tried to use the commitment pattern to get me to do it I'd have packed up and left. I find the use guilt as a motivator to be reprehensible.
                                The Exactness Obedience chart was essentially everything in the white handbook laid out in chart form, with a few others that my MP added. During interviews he would look at the blanks and ask what happened on that day. He never said "your act cost 40 people their baptisms!" but some of the younger missionaries were worried about it. For example not going home before 9:30- sometimes your last appointment gets out at 9, if you even had an appointment that is, and it's not cool to go around knocking on doors that late, so options were limited, and the end result was a lot of missionaries standing outside of their apartments in the dark winter cold, looking at their watches, waiting for 9:30.

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