Modesty in children

[SandYFan]

I've always thought the USC Cheerleaders were the sexiest. According to the standard, they are dressed very moderately.

Um, the skirts seem to be a smidge above the knee.

[Indy Coug]

I've always thought the USC Cheerleaders were the sexiest. According to the standard, they are dressed very moderately.

They just find Russ Meyer-esque women to fill out those sweaters.

[Blueintheface]

Self-respect and self-esteem are paramount and young women should not be made to feel immodest by judgmental people just because they have a postivie self-image but conversely I think it is unwise to assume a girl who wears less clothing has a postive self-image. Perhaps she's seeking that self-esteem through her choice in clothing. Perhaps she's trying to test the limits of her parents or outright rebeling. All I know is that it is statistically significant to note that those parents that are involved in their children's choices, be it dress, under-age drinking, or drugs, can and do improve their chances for success.

[Mrs. Funk]

Self-respect and self-esteem are paramount and young women should not be made to feel immodest by judgmental people just because they have a postivie self-image but conversely I think it is unwise to assume a girl who wears less clothing has a postive self-image. Perhaps she's seeking that self-esteem through her choice in clothing. Perhaps she's trying to test the limits of her parents or outright rebeling. All I know is that it is statistically significant to note that those parents that are involved in their children's choices, be it dress, under-age drinking, or drugs, can and do improve their chances for success.

I think we also have to be careful not to assume that a young woman is wearing a tank top because she has low self-esteem. And allowing a young woman to have some flexibility in her clothing choices is different than being totally uninvolved and lackadaisical in parenting, not to mention the obvious difference between doing drugs and wearing a tank top.

[wuapinmon]

There's tremendous power in feeling sexy. One of the basic fundamentals of humanity is the desire to be desired (Kojeve & Cheap Trick). People can dress sexy because they need to feel it. I'll counsel my kids to dress modestly for their own reasons and benefit, not as a way to keep eyes at bay, for there ain't no way to hide her from pryin' eyes. Comfort in clothing choices is one of my mantras.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

This does nothing for you?

If you are saying it is the shoulders of the woman who ruined her sex appeal playing Aileen Wuornos, then this also does something for you in the same way



Otherwise, no it isn't her shoulders that do something for you, it is that she is attempting to appear suggestive and happens to be wearing a shirt off her shoulders. Trying hard to make you and everyone else forget about Monster. However, I learned as a boy that you can't "unsee" things, that's why you should avoid pornography. Sorry Charlie.

[Jeff Lebowski]

How about this one, Jay? Immodest?



Ankles and shoulders. That is a deadly combo.

[Blueintheface]

I think we also have to be careful not to assume that a young woman is wearing a tank top because she has low self-esteem. And allowing a young woman to have some flexibility in her clothing choices is different than being totally uninvolved and lackadaisical in parenting, not to mention the obvious difference between doing drugs and wearing a tank top.

The way I worded that seemed to imply a connection, I meant it as an additional talking point certainly not as a an equal comparison.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

I agree completely. How far does that go, however? Are breasts inherently sexual?

This reminds me of the scene from The Office when David Brent is on a first date and describes that men are attracted to cleavage because it reminds us of buttocks and when we were cavemen just bending the woman over to have sex.

So yes, according to David Brent, boobs are inherently sexual.

[YOhio]

How about this one, Jay? Immodest?



Ankles and shoulders. That is a deadly combo.

Plus just a hint of belly. Signals are being sent.

[Blueintheface]

There's tremendous power in feeling sexy. One of the basic fundamentals of humanity is the desire to be desired (Kojeve & Cheap Trick). People can dress sexy because they need to feel it. I'll counsel my kids to dress modestly for their own reasons and benefit, not as a way to keep eyes at bay, for there ain't no way to hide her from pryin' eyes. Comfort in clothing choices is one of my mantras.

A very good mantra but I envision a scenario in which her comfort and your own for her might not be in harmony. Again, based upon your mantra, it's her decision to make and her comfort we're talking about, but I do think comfort can have cultural and parental limits. You probably disagree and that's ok.

[pellegrino]

I have three girls. They wear whatever they feel comfortable in. I don't envision that changing as they get older.

[Blueintheface]

Plus just a hint of belly. Signals are being sent.

Signals like "Yeah I see you, you scumbag paparazzo, and if you get any closer I'll show you my Monster face!"

[jay santos]

How about this one, Jay? Immodest?



Ankles and shoulders. That is a deadly combo.

May or may not be immodest. But regardless they can definitely be sexy.

Modesty and fashion are important in that it sends social queues to other people about what kind of a person you are. So I wouldn't want my teenage daughters dressing slutty because I wouldn't want others to assume they're slutty and treat them that way. Who defines all that? Unfortunately society does. There's no eternal principle here. It's a societal rule.

Little girls wearing sun dresses? Give me a freaking break.

[clackamascoug]

Hell, our 15-year-old wears bikinis (just not to church stuff). My wife says something about shorts if her butt cheeks are showing, but we're pretty lax about "modesty" in dress. I guess we just don't see a big deal in bare mid-thighs and shoulders. I think our culture's "modesty" standards are pretty arbitrary.

Paul McCartney understood this when he wrote, "Well, she was just 17, and you know what I mean."