Kids and missions

[Borg]

I have a cutie pie daughter that immediately went to the stake president (day after) the day after conference was over to go on a mission. She was 19 at the time, and turned 20 just recently.

And in the blink of an eye, her papers were in, and shortly thereafter, received her mission call before I even could take a breath.

Now...I LOVED my mission (London South), and it really did transform my life, and set such a great foundation for me.

However...I have such a different 'feeling' about my daughter. She is and has always been a cutie pie, and the feelings I have are so mixed.
1) I am so excited for her to have the same kinds of spiritual experiences that I did and solidify her testimony etc.
2) I am SO scared because she is going to Russia...so far away, and I am already worried to death about her safety.

I'm torn. Excited and scared at the same time.

Is this normal for a parent to feel about their princess going off in the world to serve a mission? To me, she seems so unprepared to hit the world. Her life is filled with fluffy bunnies and flowers. No real concept of mean people, or people that could harm her. Sigh...I'm sure the Lord will take care of her...and I guess it's my lack of faith showing.

Any other parent feel the same way?

[myboynoah]

I felt the same way when my daughter got married.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Scared me to death to send my two sons out on missions stateside. I cannot imagine sending a daughter to Russia. Don't know what to tell you other than to pray for comfort and peace.

[il Padrino Ute]

My oldest son is starting to get his paperwork done so he can leave as soon as he graduates from high school. I'm not sure how to feel about it yet, but I'm sure I'll feel something when the time comes when he actually leaves.

My concern right now is more for how it will affect him, considering that he's always been some sort of momma's boy. When I think about when the going got rough for me, I just sucked it up and got through it. He tends to want Mom to solve the problems that come his way and my wife has been more than happy to solve them, despite my attempts to get her to allow him find a way to resolve them himself. Now, if I could somehow convince him that mission struggles are no different than struggles encountered on the football field, baseball diamond or the track during hundred meter sprints, he'll do great.

My oldest daughter has no interest in serving a mission, so this is something I'll not have to worry about. She's 20 and only wants to finish school so she can start a career.

[SeattleUte]

A couple of weeks ago our doorbell rang at 8:30 p.m. on a Friday. I thought what the hell? Nobody except Amazon rings ever rings our doorbell, unless it's trouble (one time some kids in baggy trousers came by saying they were working for a security firm (undisclosed name) and surveying homes to see whether they were operating security systems; one of our neighbors actually was dopey enough to answer the survey and say no!). My mother in law came and told me that there were two Mormon missionaries and it seemed they knew me. I went to the door and sure enough, there they were. Two beautiful boys, very smartly dressed, with the plastic badges, etc.

They made the pitch. I was surprised at my reaction. My heart went out to those boys. What I felt was love and pity. I wanted to invite them in just to be nice, offer them food, but I knew I'd catch hell. My kids were being put to bed, we were all winding down, etc. I just stopped their pitch and said I wasn't interested, I'd been on a mission, and knew their message too well. They asked me where I went, and I told them Ecuador. I could tell they knew this about me.

Then I said, let me give you some advice. Don't tract, it's a complete waste of time, and it's counterproductive. It really annoys people around here. They asked me what they should do. I said network. Rely on members to hook you up. Then what the senior comp did (I assume he was the senior comp, he was the tallest by far and closest to me) made me smile. He lifted his arm, turned and swept it at my neighbors' houses, and said, 'Tell us, where shall we go?' I said all my neighbors' hearts were hard. Nobody around here is ready for Gospel. When they left I told them they had really cool looking overcoats (there were dressed better than we ever were by far).

When I closed the door I suddenly felt white hot rage. Not at them, not at all. At the LDS Church and their parents for lacking the requisite empathy to save them from this.

Don't send or pressure your kids to go on missions; ease them out of it.

[il Padrino Ute]

Don't send pressure your kids to go on missions; ease them out of it.

If it makes you feel any better, SU, I'm not encouraging nor discouraging my kids to serve. It's their call and their call only. They know this and they know I'll support whatever they choose to do.

[myboynoah]

A couple of weeks ago our doorbell rang at 8:30 p.m. on a Friday. I thought what the hell? Nobody except Amazon rings ever rings our doorbell, unless it's trouble (one time some kids in baggy trousers came by saying they were working for a security firm (undisclosed name) and surveying homes to see whether they were operating security systems; one of our neighbors actually was dopey enough to answer the survey and say no!). My mother in law came and told me that there were two Mormon missionaries and it seemed they knew me. I went to the door and sure enough, there they were. Two beautiful boys, very smartly dressed, with the plastic badges, etc.

They made the pitch. I was surprised at my reaction. My heart went out to those boys. What I felt was love and pity. I wanted to invite them in just to be nice, offer them food, but I knew I'd catch hell. My kids were being put to bed, we were all winding down, etc. I just stopped their pitch and said I wasn't interested, I'd been on a mission, and knew their message too well. They asked me where I went, and I told them Ecuador. I could tell they knew this about me.

Then I said, let me give you some advice. Don't tract, it's a complete waste of time, and it's counterproductive. It really annoys people around here. They asked me what they should do. I said network. Rely on members to hook you up. Then what the senior comp did (I assume he was the senior comp, he was the tallest by far and closest to me) made me smile. He lifted his arm, turned and swept it at my neighbors' houses, and said, 'Tell us, where shall we go?' I said all my neighbors' hearts were hard. Nobody around here is ready for Gospel. When they left I told them they had really cool looking overcoats (there were dressed better than we ever were by far).

When I closed the door I suddenly felt white hot rage. Not at them, not at all. At the LDS Church and their parents for lacking the requisite empathy to save them from this.

Don't send or pressure your kids to go on missions; ease them out of it.

Sad. You've been gone so long you can't even recognize the spirit anymore.

[YOhio]

A couple of weeks ago our doorbell rang at 8:30 p.m. on a Friday. I thought what the hell? Nobody except Amazon rings ever rings our doorbell, unless it's trouble (one time some kids in baggy trousers came by saying they were working for a security firm (undisclosed name) and surveying homes to see whether they were operating security systems; one of our neighbors actually was dopey enough to answer the survey and say no!). My mother in law came and told me that there were two Mormon missionaries and it seemed they knew me. I went to the door and sure enough, there they were. Two beautiful boys, very smartly dressed, with the plastic badges, etc.

They made the pitch. I was surprised at my reaction. My heart went out to those boys. What I felt was love and pity. I wanted to invite them in just to be nice, offer them food, but I knew I'd catch hell. My kids were being put to bed, we were all winding down, etc. I just stopped their pitch and said I wasn't interested, I'd been on a mission, and knew their message too well. They asked me where I went, and I told them Ecuador. I could tell they knew this about me.

Then I said, let me give you some advice. Don't tract, it's a complete waste of time, and it's counterproductive. It really annoys people around here. They asked me what they should do. I said network. Rely on members to hook you up. Then what the senior comp did (I assume he was the senior comp, he was the tallest by far and closest to me) made me smile. He lifted his arm, turned and swept it at my neighbors' houses, and said, 'Tell us, where shall we go?' I said all my neighbors' hearts were hard. Nobody around here is ready for Gospel. When they left I told them they had really cool looking overcoats (there were dressed better than we ever were by far).

When I closed the door I suddenly felt white hot rage. Not at them, not at all. At the LDS Church and their parents for lacking the requisite empathy to save them from this.

Don't send or pressure your kids to go on missions; ease them out of it.

Sheesh. Anger issues. And right before bedtime, too.

[PaloAltoCougar]

SU, I'm glad, though not at all surprised, you were friendly and even helpful to the elders. I've always assumed the adversarial approach you take here to all things LDS takes a backseat to common courtesy in the public domain.

I'll likely regret writing this, but I'm curious about the "white hot rage" you experienced after they'd left. Even discounting for our usual board hyperbole, I accept the fact you were upset, even a bit angry. But I don't understand why. Assuming arguendo the Church and the very belief in God are false and baseless, would a young person of faith, however misguided, serving a mission really be all that outrageous? Putting aside the spiritual benefits that I and my contacts may have experienced as a result of my time in Austria, the nonspiritual benefits were significant and innumerable (e.g., a much deeper appreciation for German/Austria history and culture, fluency in a foreign language, learning how to get along with others under difficult circumstances, acquiring leadership and public speaking skills, developing greater empathy for those who have experienced pain or loss (chatting with many dozens of women who lost their husbands on the Russian front made an impact), etc.).

I get that reasonable minds may think missions are a waste of time, but especially in light of what most teenagers do with their time if left to their own devices, I don't see why serving a mission, even if due to cultural pressure, is a bad thing, much less the cause of white rage.

Two close friends who met privately with a member of the First Presidency prior to the start of their service as mission presidents told me that in each case, the FP member said that by far the most important objective on their mission was to make sure that their missionaries had a positive, uplifting experience that would make them better people and that would benefit them for the rest of their lives. Mine did, and I'm genuinely sorry if yours didn't.

[RC Vikings]

Borg good luck to you and your daughter. My oldest went to Minnesota and having gone to Canada I had a fair idea of the challenges he would face and it didn't worry me much. I worried every day for the safety of my youngest in Honduras but I kept telling myself that church has an excellent safety record with all these young men and women throughout the world and if the missionaries follow the advice of the mission home they should be okay. On the plus side I think people in general are kinder to the sisters than they are the elders so your daughter has that going for her.

[tooblue]

SU, I'm glad, though not at all surprised, you were friendly and even helpful to the elders. I've always assumed the adversarial approach you take here to all things LDS takes a backseat to common courtesy in the public domain.

I'll likely regret writing this, but I'm curious about the "white hot rage" you experienced after they'd left. Even discounting for our usual board hyperbole, I accept the fact you were upset, even a bit angry. But I don't understand why. Assuming arguendo the Church and the very belief in God are false and baseless, would a young person of faith, however misguided, serving a mission really be all that outrageous? Putting aside the spiritual benefits that I and my contacts may have experienced as a result of my time in Austria, the nonspiritual benefits were significant and innumerable (e.g., a much deeper appreciation for German/Austria history and culture, fluency in a foreign language, learning how to get along with others under difficult circumstances, acquiring leadership and public speaking skills, developing greater empathy for those who have experienced pain or loss (chatting with many dozens of women who lost their husbands on the Russian front made an impact), etc.).

I get that reasonable minds may think missions are a waste of time, but especially in light of what most teenagers do with their time if left to their own devices, I don't see why serving a mission, even if due to cultural pressure, is a bad thing, much less the cause of white rage.

Two close friends who met privately with a member of the First Presidency prior to the start of their service as mission presidents told me that in each case, the FP member said that by far the most important objective on their mission was to make sure that their missionaries had a positive, uplifting experience that would make them better people and that would benefit them for the rest of their lives. Mine did, and I'm genuinely sorry if yours didn't.

[SeattleUte]

SU, I'm glad, though not at all surprised, you were friendly and even helpful to the elders. I've always assumed the adversarial approach you take here to all things LDS takes a backseat to common courtesy in the public domain.

I'll likely regret writing this, but I'm curious about the "white hot rage" you experienced after they'd left. Even discounting for our usual board hyperbole, I accept the fact you were upset, even a bit angry. But I don't understand why. Assuming arguendo the Church and the very belief in God are false and baseless, would a young person of faith, however misguided, serving a mission really be all that outrageous? Putting aside the spiritual benefits that I and my contacts may have experienced as a result of my time in Austria, the nonspiritual benefits were significant and innumerable (e.g., a much deeper appreciation for German/Austria history and culture, fluency in a foreign language, learning how to get along with others under difficult circumstances, acquiring leadership and public speaking skills, developing greater empathy for those who have experienced pain or loss (chatting with many dozens of women who lost their husbands on the Russian front made an impact), etc.).

I get that reasonable minds may think missions are a waste of time, but especially in light of what most teenagers do with their time if left to their own devices, I don't see why serving a mission, even if due to cultural pressure, is a bad thing, much less the cause of white rage.

Two close friends who met privately with a member of the First Presidency prior to the start of their service as mission presidents told me that in each case, the FP member said that by far the most important objective on their mission was to make sure that their missionaries had a positive, uplifting experience that would make them better people and that would benefit them for the rest of their lives. Mine did, and I'm genuinely sorry if yours didn't.

I experienced all of the secular and humanistic benefits you did, met some wonderful people in the barrios where I prosecuted my ministry, and made some great friends. I'd like to think that a cosmic soul saving benefit I attained -- albeit perhaps somewhat belated, after some maturity -- was an appreciation and love for the beauty, intelligence, even elegance and complexity for some of our world's poorest folks. I worked in the most desperately poor parts of Ecuador, almost without exception, and now more than ever realize that I did love those people.

I experienced some spiritual fulfillment as well. I read the entire Bible on my mission -- every word of it, with care -- and few people can say they have done that. This is the religious experience that has stuck with me and my love of that unsurpassed work of literature has stayed with me to this day.

However, in Austria you could have experienced all of this and more wonderful things with a fraulein companion instead of on a Mormon mission. Don't you wonder if that might not have been better? Be honest.

[LiveCoug]

I have a cutie pie daughter that immediately went to the stake president (day after) the day after conference was over to go on a mission. She was 19 at the time, and turned 20 just recently.

And in the blink of an eye, her papers were in, and shortly thereafter, received her mission call before I even could take a breath.

Now...I LOVED my mission (London South), and it really did transform my life, and set such a great foundation for me.

However...I have such a different 'feeling' about my daughter. She is and has always been a cutie pie, and the feelings I have are so mixed.
1) I am so excited for her to have the same kinds of spiritual experiences that I did and solidify her testimony etc.
2) I am SO scared because she is going to Russia...so far away, and I am already worried to death about her safety.

I'm torn. Excited and scared at the same time.

Is this normal for a parent to feel about their princess going off in the world to serve a mission? To me, she seems so unprepared to hit the world. Her life is filled with fluffy bunnies and flowers. No real concept of mean people, or people that could harm her. Sigh...I'm sure the Lord will take care of her...and I guess it's my lack of faith showing.

Any other parent feel the same way?

My nephew's farewell is this Sunday and he is headed to London South...

[Borg]

Thanks everyone...I guess there is some trepidation shared by all.

Sorry SU that your experience wasn't all that fulfilling for you. I echo PAC's comments, and think that is the beauty of a mission, it has a two-fold purpose...one intentional (spiritual) and one as a by-product just by living in the world and seeing other cultures.

Oh...and I didn't pressure her to go at all. All my girls are cuties and if she wanted to pursue boys and school etc...there would be no problem with that. This is her deal and I'm fully supportive of that decision. It will no doubt, serve those two-fold purposes I spoke of.

Live - London South is an amazing mission. He is gonna love love love it.

[CardiacCoug]

I'm not gonna lie Borg I think Rostov is a pretty tough and crime-ridden city, but your daughter will be fine.

I'm sure the mission keeps the sisters especially in safer parts of the city but I would tell her to be really careful and always be in her apartment before dark.

I hate to say this but even though I have some fond memories of the mission I honestly hope none of my kids serve missions. I will try to talk them into doing some study abroad types of things instead.