Mission sinner disappointments

[Colly Wolly]

Had a few gators couldn't quit smoking. Said quit, then back it it after being dunked. Others couldn't accept tithing so missed date. Don't know what happened to them.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I thought this was going to be a thread dedicated to me and my time spent on a mission.

[MarkGrace]

Some fine Grapevinian. Well done.

[Paperback Writer]

Trained Greenie surfer dude from So. Cal. Great guy, good missionary when wanted to be. To him, rules in White Bible were just suggestions. Over half-way through; on probation by MP for rule breaking. Got caught by ZL going to movie, again. Before MP could lower hammer, went to Times Square for New Year's Eve. Our mission was Boston.

At first I was dissappointed in him. Now, I appreciate his brilliance. Every New Year's Eve I toast Elder B.

[wuapinmon]

Taught family in trailer about law of chastity. Said theyd keep it. After baptism, found out marriage never happend, so we calld mission pres and he said their bishops problem now.

[grapevine]

Two months with no baptism. Got one had date set shortly found out on probation so could not get baptized. Devastating. Had a few back downs too. A few disappointments. People let missionaries in but would not get married. Come to find out took discussions to get church help I guess.

Had some delays and disappointments. Comps that were total jerks could do no wrong you could do no right. Left in Budget impaired missionaries apartment saturday night. Sunday morning no way to brush teeth get breakfast, Not starvation sunday dirty underclothing. Did not have miles. Found out reason. Left mission boundaries and piddled around. Missionaries went home early. A few sinister things.

[Lost Student]

Two months with no baptism. Got one had date set shortly found out on probation so could not get baptized. Devastating. Had a few back downs too. A few disappointments. People let missionaries in but would not get married. Come to find out took discussions to get church help I guess.

Had some delays and disappointments. Comps that were total jerks could do no wrong you could do no right. Left in Budget impaired missionaries apartment saturday night. Sunday morning no way to brush teeth get breakfast, Not starvation sunday dirty underclothing. Did not have miles. Found out reason. Left mission boundaries and piddled around. Missionaries went home early. A few sinister things.

[Surfah]

Elder known for rule breaking. Went to Las Vegas for 3 days with investigator couple. President made him zone leader. At club dancing and drinking. Girl came over and they fornicated. Companion was drunk and upset there was no girl for him to bed. Called mission president to rat out comp. President said pack your shit you're going home. Both went home next day. Elder who fornicated highest baptizing missionary. Harlot never baptized.

[Uncle Ted]

A couple of missionaries in a remote area decided they needed a vacation. They filled out their weekly reports in advance and gave them to the landlady to send in for them. The landlady misunderstood their instructions and sent the reports the next day instead at the end of the week. The mission office noticed the discrepancy and sent the AP and his comp to camp out at the missionaries' apartment to see what was going on. When they finally returned they found that their bags were already packed.

[Colly Wolly]

A couple of missionaries in a remote area decided they needed a vacation. They filled out their weekly reports in advance and gave them to the landlady to send in for them. The landlady misunderstood their instructions and sent the reports the next day instead at the end of the week. The mission office noticed the discrepancy and sent the AP and his comp to camp out at the missionaries' apartment to see what was going on. When they finally returned they found that their bags were already packed.

Nice story, but too many complete sentences. Need more fragments and implied subjects and objects.

[Colly Wolly]

All star missionary serving as zone leader. Decided to extend for six more weeks. Fornicated during extension and got sent home.

Two other missionaries left mission boundaries to meet girls. Took pictures of them necking and petting with them. Also hickies after. Strawberries in Chinese.

One elder sent home for wearing ladies underwear around. Not sure what was wrong with him.

[Hypoplastic]

Missionaries lived with families. Elder and companion served in small town. Lived with Bishop's fam. Junior comp and Bishop's wife got it on. Sent home. Senior comp transferred. No missionaries in town for over a year.

[clackamascoug]

Tahlequah, OK. 1980. Horses, Cattle, roundup, BBQ. Kelly Sue got batisted in Black Bird Creek. Missionray wore a bolo. Gave Catfish to poor members. Saw trail of tears, and Will Rogers at Tsa La Gi. Sister Cloud serve rattlesnake, and possom. Still put Tbasco on everything. Member stabbed member 67 times. Died. Went home head holded stetson high, no forication with Kelly Sue, but the standing offer was appreciated.

[Flystripper]

Elder harmonized hyms with recorder in nose and whistling with his mouth. So homesick he composed a love song on noserecorder.No internet then so had to send on a cassette. Got dear Johned and went to FenwayPark on a Sunday with his comp in Nashua. MP made him office van driver before he sent him home. High baptizer sadn loss of faith.

[Paperback Writer]

Splits with ZLs. Finished tracting with new Elder, waiting in apt. My comp and his late from teaching apt. Practised discussions with new Elder. Other guys still late. Bored. New Elder loves music, sings a solo; got real talent. Still bored. Pop in cassette tape marked Mozart. Not Mozart; Talking Heads. Pop in another tape labeled Mormon Tab. It's The Pretenders. Busted! But not his tapes, new Elder rats out comp. Other guys finally home. Compliment other Elder on musical taste. Throws himslef at mercy of ZLs. He's a very good missionary, tell him we have to think. New Elder offers to record own tape with them signing as penance. Judgement deffered.

A week later listen to new tape. First cut chuch hymn solo. Not bad. Next cut a rap song before there was rap. Original, catchy. More we listen more we like. Ego trip; my name's in lyric. All forgiven. Copies made, boot legged around mission. It catches on, becomes unofficial mission song.