Rumors of 19 year old females going on missions

[ERCougar]

Maybe abruptly and completely cutting off contact with everyone and everything you love, in a foreign country (or at least place), with a companion you may or may not have anything in common with but have to spend 24/7 with nonetheless, to knock on doors and tell people with much more life experience than you how to better live theirs, 12 hours a day 6.5 days a week, is not particularly conducive to good mental health.

[Donuthole]

Maybe abruptly and completely cutting off contact with everyone and everything you love, in a foreign country (or at least place), with a companion you may or may not have anything in common with but have to spend 24/7 with nonetheless, to knock on doors and tell people with much more life experience than you how to better live theirs, 12 hours a day 6.5 days a week, is not particularly conducive to good mental health.

Clearly you never recovered.

[smokymountainrain]

Maybe abruptly and completely cutting off contact with everyone and everything you love, in a foreign country (or at least place), with a companion you may or may not have anything in common with but have to spend 24/7 with nonetheless, to knock on doors and tell people with much more life experience than you how to better live theirs, 12 hours a day 6.5 days a week, is not particularly conducive to good mental health.

or maybe it is.

I don't give two shits if my kids serve missions (I simply don't want my daughters to serve), but from a mental health/confidence/growth perspective it was good for me and many people I know.

[Jacob]

Maybe abruptly and completely cutting off contact with everyone and everything you love, in a foreign country (or at least place), with a companion you may or may not have anything in common with but have to spend 24/7 with nonetheless, to knock on doors and tell people with much more life experience than you how to better live theirs, 12 hours a day 6.5 days a week, is not particularly conducive to good mental health.

do you have anything to back that up?

[ERCougar]

do you have anything to back that up?

Nope. The potential mental health pitfalls seem a little obvious to me, but maybe that's my advanced psychiatry training.

I don't know that it's an overall negative mental healthwise, but if you're losing 10+% of your participants and that number worries you, then there are a few tweaks you could make. Or not.

[FMCoug]

This conversation about missionaries coming home early is much needed. The sisters we are getting are not ready for their missions. I say sisters because we have not seen male missionaries in over two or three years. The sisters are rigid and quite simply don't know how to talk to people. Everything is by the book. Many were promised some personal issue would go away if they served a mission. Our ward is now having to care for these kids in way I have not seen in the past. One of our ward's own girls left for a foreign mission and was back within two weeks and is no longer active. The family is devastated. My own son is 18 and I don't bother him about a mission. It's his choice. I think after a year at BYU he will be able to judge. He isn't ready today. The Church and parents need to take a hard look at the missionary program.

I've said this before and been slammed for it and probably will be again, but I don't think the increased rate of missionaries coming home early has anything to do with age. It's all about helicopter parenting and entitlement. A lot of these kids have never had to do anything hard in their lives because Mommy takes care of everything for them. Missions are hard, rightly so. We're expecting kids to go from being spoon fed everything on a silver platter to living a grueling life, often in a 3rd world country.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I've said this before and been slammed for it and probably will be again, but I don't think the increased rate of missionaries coming home early has anything to do with age. It's all about helicopter parenting and entitlement. A lot of these kids have never had to do anything hard in their lives because Mommy takes care of everything for them. Missions are hard, rightly so. We're expecting kids to go from being spoon fed everything on a silver platter to living a grueling life, often in a 3rd world country.

And you don't think age and life experience has anything to do with people being able to cope with tough situations?

[thesaint258]

Rumors of 19 year old females going on missions

I've said this before and been slammed for it and probably will be again, but I don't think the increased rate of missionaries coming home early has anything to do with age. It's all about helicopter parenting and entitlement. A lot of these kids have never had to do anything hard in their lives because Mommy takes care of everything for them. Missions are hard, rightly so. We're expecting kids to go from being spoon fed everything on a silver platter to living a grueling life, often in a 3rd world country.

I agree with this. Changing the age means that kids don't have an opportunity to get away from it, though. They can't make the adjustment before going on a mission like many would before the age requirement was lowered.

[Stick]

And you don't think age and life experience has anything to do with people being able to cope with tough situations?

I would guess that life experience has more to do with helping a person cope with a tough situation than age. I usually assume that more age means more life experience but that is not always the case. Is there really much difference between an 18 year old living at home with a 'helicopter' parent who takes of all of their child's problems vs a 19 or even 21 year old living at home with the same parent? Maybe, but I doubt it.

On the other hand more age can give you more opportunity for life experience that helicopter parents will not be able to solve as easily, such as going away to school and learning to live with room-mates. That sort of life experience would be invaluable before serving a mission, and I don't know if an 18 year old deals with it any worse (or better) for the the first time than a 19 or 21 year old.

[Moliere]

And you don't think age and life experience has anything to do with people being able to cope with tough situations?

I don't think age really has much to do with it. The biggest issue is not having the kids go outside of the home prior to serving. I went to one semester of college prior to my mission and the first 2 weeks away at college were tough. I was homesick even though I was only 30 miles from home. I came home twice during those weeks and finally got over it. My first 7 days in the MTC were just as tough. I again got homesick, but I'm pretty sure I made it through that time because I had already spent a semester away from home.

I think ER is somewhat correct in that tweaks are needed. Maybe weekly contact is a good thing as long as they are in the MTC or maybe even during the first 6 months of the mission

[Uncle Ted]

I agree with this. Changing the age means that kids don't have an opportunity to get away from it, though. They can't make the adjustment before going on a mission like many would before the age requirement was lowered.

Maybe folks should consider sending their kids away to boarding schools. We had a neighbor that did this with their very immature son for his high school years. They sent him to some military boarding school. He came back a whole different kid. I now understand why some parents send their kids to aTm to join the Corps of Cadets.

[FMCoug]

And you don't think age and life experience has anything to do with people being able to cope with tough situations?

Of course it does. That's why I was such a kickass missionary!

I just don't see much difference between a helicopter parented 18 year old and a helicopter parented 19 year old.

[FMCoug]

Maybe folks should consider sending their kids away to boarding schools. We had a neighbor that did this with their very immature son for his high school years. They sent him to some military boarding school. He came back a whole different kid. I now understand why some parents send their kids to aTm to join the Corps of Cadets.

I only have one Mormon kid going to boarding school story but it's a doozey.

Jack Mormon buddy of mine in Dallas. Parents converted when he was 5. His Dad was a hardasss special forces type in Vietnam and sent him off to military school.

Turned out his Dad joined the Church because he was convinced that once you got to a high enough level in the Church, you could practice polygamy.

Parents divorced, buddy stayed in Military school all through high school when he went into the Army and became a special forces badadd himself.

[CardiacCoug]

I've said this before and been slammed for it and probably will be again, but I don't think the increased rate of missionaries coming home early has anything to do with age. It's all about helicopter parenting and entitlement. A lot of these kids have never had to do anything hard in their lives because Mommy takes care of everything for them. Missions are hard, rightly so. We're expecting kids to go from being spoon fed everything on a silver platter to living a grueling life, often in a 3rd world country.

Yup.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Thank you all for making my case. A 19-yr-old can be significantly more ready for a mission than an 18-yr-old. One year away from home at school is one of the best kinds of experience for a prospective missionary.

By FM's logic, the recent bump in early returns has nothing to do with the age change. Rather, there has been some sudden surge in helicopter parenting.