Article: Confessions of an Ex-Mormon

[LA Ute]

I was about to post this- the timeline sounds about right. Sounds like he chilled with Opie!

Could've been Kevin Prince too. (Couldn't it have?)

Anyway, I really enjoyed the piece. He's a good writer.

[Goatnapper'96]

Could've been Kevin Prince too. (Couldn't it have?)

Anyway, I really enjoyed the piece. He's a good writer.

I thought perhaps but I think these were single mormons out of college. Kevin Prince would likely be rooming with college aged kids.

[SeattleUte]

Yeah, wouldn't it be great to spend three years of your youth in Mormonism, no pressure from parents to stay or go on a mission or get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday to go to priesthood, heavy petting and smoking pot with a wild young LDS girl with scent of menthol cigarrettes on her breath, never giving 10% of your hard earned graveyard shift income to the church, never feeling any debt to the first Mormon ancestor 7 generations back, never living in a rat infested barrio battling the dissentary still working dawn till dusk in your black and white uniform with the buzz cut and plastic badge and teaching some black people they were cursed and not EVERY good boy gets to be a deacon and sometimes guiltily haunted by the thought, jwtfaidh? then at 17 returning to your roots and leaving it all (not getting shunned) when college beckened. Then as a divorsee hanging out with Ben Olsen and other Mormon pretty people in Beverly Hills mooching free furniture and food, while they tolerated your fuck pad and your wine and beer and let you borrow their truck with no expecation of replacing the gas because George Cloony was playing in the movie made from your book.

This guy's an exmo light weight or worse. No wonder his memories are so nice. He'd also sell his soul for an angle; he's a phony. He's an immature male version of Joanna Brooks, with a shallower Mormon experience, a freelance writer profiteering on playing the nice philosophical contrarian exmo. I'm not impressed.

[Donuthole]

lol

[Commando]

For the record, SU, I think most of us here would be happy to tolerate your fuck pad, wine and beer, and let you borrow the truck whenever-- all the while appreciating and acknowledging your deeper mormon wonder years experience and exponentially more traumatic exit from such.

I know you're not one to accept charity, but the offer is on the table.

[Goatnapper'96]

Yeah, wouldn't it be great to spend three years of your youth in Mormonism, no pressure from parents to stay or go on a mission or get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday to go to priesthood, heavy petting and smoking pot with a wild young LDS girl with scent of menthol cigarrettes on her breath, never giving 10% of your hard earned graveyard shift income to the church, never feeling any debt to the first Mormon ancestor 7 generations back, never living in a rat infested barrio battling the dissentary still working dawn till dusk in your black and white uniform with the buzz cut and plastic badge and teaching some black people they were cursed and not EVERY good boy gets to be a deacon and sometimes guiltily haunted by the thought, jwtfaidh? then at 17 returning to your roots and leaving it all (not getting shunned) when college beckened. Then as a divorsee hanging out with Ben Olsen and other Mormon pretty people in Beverly Hills mooching free furniture and food, while they tolerated your fuck pad and your wine and beer and let you borrow their truck with no expecation of replacing the gas because George Cloony was playing in the movie made from your book.

This guy's an exmo light weight or worse. No wonder his memories are so nice. He'd also sell his soul for an angle; he's a phony. He's an immature male version of Juanita Brooks, with a shallower Mormon experience, a freelance writer profiteering on playing the nice philosophical contrarian exmo. I'm not impressed.

But he isn't bitter!

[Goatnapper'96]

For the record, SU, I think most of us here would be happy to tolerate your fuck pad, wine and beer, and let you borrow the truck whenever-- all the while appreciating and acknowledging your deeper mormon wonder years experience and exponentially more traumatic exit from such.

I know you're not one to accept charity, but the offer is on the table.

I am good with the wine and fuck pad, but if he wants a truck he gets the beat up F-150 I use to haul wood and move people.

[marsupial]

Yeah, wouldn't it be great to spend three years of your youth in Mormonism, no pressure from parents to stay or go on a mission or get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday to go to priesthood, heavy petting and smoking pot with a wild young LDS girl with scent of menthol cigarrettes on her breath, never giving 10% of your hard earned graveyard shift income to the church, never feeling any debt to the first Mormon ancestor 7 generations back, never living in a rat infested barrio battling the dissentary still working dawn till dusk in your black and white uniform with the buzz cut and plastic badge and teaching some black people they were cursed and not EVERY good boy gets to be a deacon and sometimes guiltily haunted by the thought, jwtfaidh? then at 17 returning to your roots and leaving it all (not getting shunned) when college beckened. Then as a divorsee hanging out with Ben Olsen and other Mormon pretty people in Beverly Hills mooching free furniture and food, while they tolerated your fuck pad and your wine and beer and let you borrow their truck with no expecation of replacing the gas because George Cloony was playing in the movie made from your book.

This guy's an exmo light weight or worse. No wonder his memories are so nice. He'd also sell his soul for an angle; he's a phony. He's an immature male version of Juanita Brooks, with a shallower Mormon experience, a freelance writer profiteering on playing the nice philosophical contrarian exmo. I'm not impressed.

I think FMCoug would say you have a pioneer ancestor superiority complex. Just because his great-great-great grandparents didn't cross the plains doesn't mean he's not a legit Mormon.

[Color Me Badd Fan]

Yeah, wouldn't it be great to spend three years of your youth in Mormonism, no pressure from parents to stay or go on a mission or get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday to go to priesthood, heavy petting and smoking pot with a wild young LDS girl with scent of menthol cigarrettes on her breath, never giving 10% of your hard earned graveyard shift income to the church, never feeling any debt to the first Mormon ancestor 7 generations back, never living in a rat infested barrio battling the dissentary still working dawn till dusk in your black and white uniform with the buzz cut and plastic badge and teaching some black people they were cursed and not EVERY good boy gets to be a deacon and sometimes guiltily haunted by the thought, jwtfaidh? then at 17 returning to your roots and leaving it all (not getting shunned) when college beckened. Then as a divorsee hanging out with Ben Olsen and other Mormon pretty people in Beverly Hills mooching free furniture and food, while they tolerated your fuck pad and your wine and beer and let you borrow their truck with no expecation of replacing the gas because George Cloony was playing in the movie made from your book.

This guy's an exmo light weight or worse. No wonder his memories are so nice. He'd also sell his soul for an angle; he's a phony. He's an immature male version of Juanita Brooks, with a shallower Mormon experience, a freelance writer profiteering on playing the nice philosophical contrarian exmo. I'm not impressed.

Hey dimwit, it's Olson not Olsen.

[LA Ute]

Yeah, wouldn't it be great to spend three years of your youth in Mormonism, no pressure from parents to stay or go on a mission or get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday to go to priesthood, heavy petting and smoking pot with a wild young LDS girl with scent of menthol cigarrettes on her breath, never giving 10% of your hard earned graveyard shift income to the church, never feeling any debt to the first Mormon ancestor 7 generations back, never living in a rat infested barrio battling the dissentary still working dawn till dusk in your black and white uniform with the buzz cut and plastic badge and teaching some black people they were cursed and not EVERY good boy gets to be a deacon and sometimes guiltily haunted by the thought, jwtfaidh? then at 17 returning to your roots and leaving it all (not getting shunned) when college beckened. Then as a divorsee hanging out with Ben Olsen and other Mormon pretty people in Beverly Hills mooching free furniture and food, while they tolerated your fuck pad and your wine and beer and let you borrow their truck with no expecation of replacing the gas because George Cloony was playing in the movie made from your book.

This guy's an exmo light weight or worse. No wonder his memories are so nice. He'd also sell his soul for an angle; he's a phony. He's an immature male version of Juanita Brooks, with a shallower Mormon experience, a freelance writer profiteering on playing the nice philosophical contrarian exmo. I'm not impressed.

Hey, SU, some former Mormons have some nice things to say about the church and its poor deluded members. It's OK.

[SeattleUte]

Hey dimwit, it's Olson not Olsen.

yeah, and obviously I meant Joanna not Juanita Brooks.

[CardiacCoug]

yeah, and obviously I meant Joanna not Juanita Brooks.

Ha! That had me confused.

Don't you share some of Kirn's nostalgia and sentimentality for the LDS experiences of youth, though? Don't you tell good-looking women that you used to be Mormon as a conversation starter? I think you probably somewhere deep down appreciate your LDS background.

JWTFAIDH was the exact thought I had on my mission half the time, though. Well done.

[Pheidippides]

SU is still the most incessant and sharp (not necessarily sharp-witted) troll I know of. Joanna Brooks. Well done.

[OceanBlue]

Great essay. There are times when certain decisions of the Church bother me. But happiness can be found in the Church as well.

[UtahDan]

I genuinely don't know what to make of this guy. Loved the movie though.