LDS blogger comes out with his wife.

[Indy Coug]

It isn't a judgment call. The Obispo should not be telling his wife anything that comes out of a personal meeting with a ward member.

For any of our resident Cuffers that have worn the crown, is the training pretty clear that confidential information is confidential from spouse? Or is it something that isn't discussed much?

I've had conversations with people that have worn the crown who told me that they are explicitly told not to share confidential information with their spouse. What happened to Swimmer is beyond uncool. There isn't a word strong enough to describe what it is.

[DU Ute]

I'm going to take a wild guess that Swimmer's wife wasn't the only one that ended up becoming privy to this information.

[Swimmer]

I'm so sorry. I know you've probably been told this countless times, but don't blame yourself. You were doing what you'd been taught to do and for nearly 20 years you denied yourself the most basic of human instincts. Was not telling her a cause for guilt? I'm not sure that it should be. You knew her well and despite your true feelings you repressed that for her and the kids. That's worth something. Heres to hoping she matures quickly, for your children's sake.

Thank you...even though it is not easy, I'm learning to move on from all the guilt and am simply enjoying my life. Yes, I lost my family (except for my kids) and I rarely see them due to work schedules, but my children are still, and always will be the most important part of my life. I have finally found true happiness in knowing that I am a genuine person who finally understands the meaning of true love.

[Swimmer]

I'm going to take a wild guess that Swimmer's wife wasn't the only one that ended up becoming privy to this information.

You would be correct! I became the topic of discussion in the ward/neigborhood within a few days. It bothered me a lot, because of the shit my kids had to deal with due to the gossip, but luckily my kids are pretty mature and have learned to deal with it quite well.

[Swimmer]

Anyone who really knows you can attest to what an excellent parent you are. Any barriars separating you from your kids are tragic.

Thank you my friend. I may have been a crappy husband, but I am not ashamed to admit that I consider myself to be a good Father.

[DrumNFeather]

I've had conversations with people that have worn the crown who told me that they are explicitly told not to share confidential information with their spouse. What happened to Swimmer is beyond uncool. There isn't a word strong enough to describe what it is.

Certainly worth releasing the bishop immediately, I'd think.

[Swimmer]

Certainly worth releasing the bishop immediately, I'd think.

Probably so, but I highly doubt anyone in the church leadership is going to care that a gay, former member, has a problem with how a Bishop in Springville, Utah can't keep a confidence.

[smokymountainrain]

I've had conversations with people that have worn the crown who told me that they are explicitly told not to share confidential information with their spouse. What happened to Swimmer is beyond uncool. There isn't a word strong enough to describe what it is.

Agree with everything here. The bishop probably should be disfellowshipped and given an asterisk for his actions.

[DrumNFeather]

Probably so, but I highly doubt anyone in the church leadership is going to care that a gay, former member, has a problem with how a Bishop in Springville, Utah can't keep a confidence.

I don't know, perhaps in this situation since it is in the past you're right, but as Indy and others have said, the confidentiality is one of the biggest points of emphasis when people are called to such positions. Even in my calling as exec sec, it is made clear to me to keep a lid on it.

[Indy Coug]

Probably so, but I highly doubt anyone in the church leadership is going to care that a gay, former member, has a problem with how a Bishop in Springville, Utah can't keep a confidence.

I'm going to have to disagree here. In my experience, keeping confidences is EXTREMELY important to the leadership of the church. There isn't a "gay exemption".

[PaloAltoCougar]

It isn't a judgment call. The Obispo should not be telling his wife anything that comes out of a personal meeting with a ward member.

For any of our resident Cuffers that have worn the crown, is the training pretty clear that confidential information is confidential from spouse? Or is it something that isn't discussed much?

Yes, it's very clear, although I didn't think it was even necessary. To this day (I was released 15 years ago), my wife is unaware of anything told to me in confidence, and I'm extremely bothered by Swimmer's experience. Had I been the victim of this egregious breach of confidentiality, I would have gone to the stake president immediately. A quick release, and perhaps more, of the bishop would have to be considered. I find that appalling.

[Tone Loc]

No...she was not aware of it - I was told repeately by my Bishop and Stake President to never tell her. She found out about my sexuality 18 years into the marriage when the Bishop's wife took it upon herself to tell her. Coincidentally, this happened exactly one day after I shared the information with the Bishop.

I would love to hear the bishops side to the story.

[HauteCoug]

Swimmer, the way you were treated is horrendous. I am so sorry that you were the victim of such a terrible breach of confidence, and I hope that your children are able to maintain good relationships. Hopefully that person one day realizes the damage he caused by his gossipping with his wife. Inexcusable.

[Tone Loc]

Thank you my friend. I may have been a crappy husband, but I am not ashamed to admit that I consider myself to be a good Father.

Is this even possible?

[lambdacoug]

No...she was not aware of it - I was told repeately by my Bishop and Stake President to never tell her. She found out about my sexuality 18 years into the marriage when the Bishop's wife took it upon herself to tell her. Coincidentally, this happened exactly one day after I shared the information with the Bishop.

Wow. That is all sorts of craptastic.