Not feeling it anymore

[SportUTE]

Last Sunday was the first time in my adult life (currently 40) that I was at church and didn't want to go there again. I've been in my current ward for nearly 10 years with lots of involvement (EQ P, 2X EQ 1st, Scoutmaster, Ward Missionary) but recently I've felt ostracized quite a lot. If there is any conversation or friendly exchanges it's always initiated by me.

It's bothered me here and there for the last couple of years but I've always gotten over it. I don't want to be a drama queen and "quit" in a huff out of offense, but I no longer believe others value me as a member of the ward. It really saddens me.

[smokymountainrain]

Sorry to hear this. Mrs SMR is going through something similar right now at church.

Good luck with everything.

[Moliere]

That's too bad to hear SportUte. Hopefully things change and soon.

Have you tried switching college allegiances? I bet that would help a bit

[byu71]

Last Sunday was the first time in my adult life (currently 40) that I was at church and didn't want to go there again. I've been in my current ward for nearly 10 years with lots of involvement (EQ P, 2X EQ 1st, Scoutmaster, Ward Missionary) but recently I've felt ostracized quite a lot. If there is any conversation or friendly exchanges it's always initiated by me.

It's bothered me here and there for the last couple of years but I've always gotten over it. I don't want to be a drama queen and "quit" in a huff out of offense, but I no longer believe others value me as a member of the ward. It really saddens me.

That is too bad. What would cause something like this. Did you fart on a wood bench during a GA's visit?

[FN Phat]

I've had that feeling for the past 3 years...every since we moved to BFE Kentucky.

[Surfah]

I've had that feeling for the past 3 years...every since we moved to BFE Kentucky.

Sometimes I wish I weren't "valued" as much. Being one of the first phone calls whenever anyone needs something is getting old.

[wuapinmon]

Sometimes I wish I weren't "valued" as much. Being one of the first phone calls whenever anyone needs something is getting old.

Go guayabera and all your problems will be over.

[Green Monstah]

I think this is pretty common (the ebbs and flows of how well we're received at church). People move in and out; boundary changes, etc. can change the landscape of a ward pretty quickly. It's one of the reasons that I don't mind moving as much as I have over the last decade.

Hang in there. I've learned that often when I feel ostracized, others actually think that I'm separating myself. It takes an icebreaker or two to realize that some of it is simply made up in my own head. OTOH, I've been ostracized in wards (a little too vocal in GD), and that sucks pretty bad.

[NorthwestUteFan]

I have felt similar feelings for quite a while.

About ten months ago the wife of a bishopric member, who does the music in primary, started singling out my twins (Sunbeams at the time) as being 'bad' because they were rowdy in Sacrament meetings (we sat in front of her). The next week we sat in front of her again, and she complained to the Primary that she couldn't see around me because I am too tall. I was PISSED to say the least, but I am also very passive -aggressive too, so we now sit in front of her every week.

My kids act as if they hate going to church, but they seem to have a good time. I tried staying home with them while my wife went alone, but they were so out of control on Sundays without church to help calm them that it is easier to just fight them to get ready and drag them to church. Now that I have been released from EQ Presidency I just hang out with my wife in Primary. TThe kids in her class are funny and adorable so we have a great time learning the lessons. Besides, my wife brings treats so I have that going for me.

Honestly if my kids could be calm when staying home from church we would likely start going about half of the time or less. Good luck with the struggle. BTW I also turned 40 a few weeks ago so I feel your pain.

[Coach McGuirk]

I don't want to sound like an ass but i will anyway. Boo freaking who.

[Sullyute]

I don't want to sound like an ass but i will anyway. Boo freaking who.

So apparently you guys are in the same ward.

[SportUTE]

I don't want to sound like an ass but i will anyway. Boo freaking who.

Again, I don't want to make it a drama event but it's important to me and I wanted to get suggestions/perspective.

[byu71]

So apparently you guys are in the same ward.

LOL

[Do Not Want!]

I understand completely. A few years ago I got to my, "Why the hell am I doing this?" moment. I decided that I needed to do church on my terms and have only gone a few times a year since. Lately, though, I've been wanting to test the waters again, and it's going pretty well.

[Eddie]

Back when we were first married and I was young and stupid, my wife complained that no one in the ward cared about her or would talk to her. No one was making an effort to make her feel welcome, etc.

My response was - well, who in the ward are you talking to? Who in the ward are you making an effort to welcome? Who in the ward do you care about?


Quite frankly, I think I was just bothered by the whining and was looking to say something to make her stop. Looking back, there is maybe a little bit of wisdom included there - meaning that if you can focus on someone else, it helps to forget what your own issues are.

Reading your post, it sounds in some ways like burnout. Like a break from some responsibility and just remembering the real reason for church attendance - worship of God and Jesus Christ - might not be a bad thing. But that's just an impression.