This month's Sunstone

[wuapinmon]

As the resident mid-single I think you need to distinguish between divorced females and never married females. A lot of the nevermarrieds have had sex but most of the divorcees have done the deed post marriage.

Can't shut the factory down?

[Shaka]

Can't shut the factory down?

That's part of it. The other part, in my opinion, is depression. Many will do almost anything to feel better about themselves. Sex is the ultimate feel better.

[NorthwestUteFan]

As the resident mid-single I think you need to distinguish between divorced females and never married females. A lot of the nevermarrieds have had sex but most of the divorcees have done the deed post marriage.

Not surprising. Life experience teaches us that physical contact*is a basic, essential life need and eventually the need overwhelms the YW (and YM) lessons of decades past.

Maslow's Heierarchy of Needs shows 'sex' as a baseline need (Physiological), on the same level as food/water. He then shows 'sexual intimacy' in his third level need (Love/Belonging), corresponding with friendship or family.

Thus there is no need to speak disparagingly of single adults who 'make sexy time'. That said, the church still has to uphold the moral value of 'no sexy time outside marriage'.


*of course, "'physical contact' means different things to men than to women, but both need it (at different intervals, of course).

[Eddie]

Steve Young, when he said that on 60 Minutes, was misquoting his great-great-great grandfather Brigham Young. Apparently Brigham Young never said that but did say a lot of other interesting stuff.

Actually, I don't recall seeing Steve's 60 minutes interview. I was quoting Steve from his appearance on "Single's Ward".

So...was Steve quoting Steve quoting Brigham in the movie?

I must admit - I only saw it once, and it was a long time ago. So I may be off on the quote.

[Paperback Writer]

As the resident mid-single I think you need to distinguish between divorced females and never married females. A lot of the nevermarrieds have had sex but most of the divorcees have done the deed post marriage.

I should hope they had sex post-marriage otherwise if would be no surprise why they are divorced. Probably meant "post divorce" but I thought the "post marriage" comment was funny.

I also wonder if these relations are with non-LDS (or not active LDS) where it is the norm for many.

Depression and wanting to be in a relationship are explanations. I wonder if another is just wanting to enjoy/experience life before giving marriage another try. Kind of like college age people "experiencing the world" before settling down for marriage once they get serious about it.

[Color Me Badd Fan]

I've got some advice for these singles that will never, ever be espoused by a GA.


Date people outside the church.


I was 28, not married and had just moved to Las Vegas. I told my mom over the phone that I was not going to limit my prospects only to LDS girls. I had just barely finished taking the Nevada Bar and between starting my job and studying and taking the bar, I hadn't really gotten out there to see what my options were, LDS-wise. I just knew that I had reached an age where I needed to probably get more serious and settle down. I wasn't going to limit my prospects to a potentially thin pool of girls and settle on someone that was less kind, attractive and emotionally stable than someone I could have otherwise netted just because they happened to be LDS.

About a week later I met and started dating the girl that would become my wife. So, I can't exactly speak from experience, but it seems like quite a few of these people might be subjecting themselves to a life of being single simply because they've severely limited their options.

[Sullyute]

On the topic of treating single adult members as though they are children, I understand that the single adult dances include married couples who chaperone the dance. I find this comical and more than a little insane.

I can vouch that this happens. I've also seen chaperones at singles camping activities.

We have a couple in our ward that chaperones at these dances. They brought it up in a sunday school class on modesty that many of the single adults women had to be asked to put on more modest clothing and that the single men just acted like wall flowers. They more or less call single adults sluts, geeks, and all around losers. No wonder they don't feel accepted in the church.

[Shaka]

I should hope they had sex post-marriage otherwise if would be no surprise why they are divorced. Probably meant "post divorce" but I thought the "post marriage" comment was funny.

I also wonder if these relations are with non-LDS (or not active LDS) where it is the norm for many.

Depression and wanting to be in a relationship are explanations. I wonder if another is just wanting to enjoy/experience life before giving marriage another try. Kind of like college age people "experiencing the world" before settling down for marriage once they get serious about it.

These girls have all kinds of strange relationships. Many hook up, many play the cougar roll and go after youngsters, but most find an LDS dude who is game and go at it with him.