In-laws giving "intellectual" book to apostate children

[jay santos]

Wife's sister and brother in law are RM's and BYU grad's who have apostatized for the standard reasons (Mormon history not what we thought, and even the Bible's full of holes).

In-law's are giving them this book http://deseretbook.com/Inevitable-Ap...ster/i/4954463. Because they are sure it will speak to them, intellectually.

Better yet, the parents know the kids will be offended if they give the book, so they want my wife to do it. She's stuck in the middle.

How do you think this will turn out?

One thing I don't predict: the scholarly approach Tad Callister takes will address all the concerns of the naughty little apostate children, and they will quickly return back to the church.

[jay santos]

I didn't know Tad Callister was a general authority. I kind of feel bad now. I thought I was making fun of him as the cheesy, best selling Deseret Book author I knew him as from the book Infinite Atonement.

[Jeff Lebowski]

If your in-laws feel like they will be offended, why ask your wife to do it? I don't get it.

[Moliere]

If your in-laws feel like they will be offended, why ask your wife to do it? I don't get it.

Would you want to offend your daughter and SIL? That's a task better handled by a sibling.....apparently.

[PaloAltoCougar]

Your prediction of the book's efficacy (or lack thereof) is probably dead on accurate.

When my sister drifted away from the Church for reasons similar to those you descibed, I was rather surprised when my very faithful mother gave my sister Joseph Campbell's The Power of Myth, a fascinating book but not one that would tend to reinvigorate faith in a particularly strict belief system. "Well, it's what she wanted and we shouldn't discourage an honest exploration of ideas, even when they may conflict with our beliefs, right?," Mom asked me somewhat uncertainly.

[Moliere]

Wife's sister and brother in law are RM's and BYU grad's who have apostatized for the standard reasons (Mormon history not what we thought, and even the Bible's full of holes).

In-law's are giving them this book http://deseretbook.com/Inevitable-Ap...ster/i/4954463. Because they are sure it will speak to them, intellectually.

Better yet, the parents know the kids will be offended if they give the book, so they want my wife to do it. She's stuck in the middle.

How do you think this will turn out?

One thing I don't predict: the scholarly approach Tad Callister takes will address all the concerns of the naughty little apostate children, and they will quickly return back to the church.

The book has 3 glowing 5-star reviews, maybe they'll actually enjoy it.

[Babs]

If your in-laws feel like they will be offended, why ask your wife to do it? I don't get it.

Probably because their daughter hasn't been near as vocal about the apostasy, and so the parents figure that the book will be better received coming from her. It's a great way to spread the resentment around.

[jay santos]

If your in-laws feel like they will be offended, why ask your wife to do it? I don't get it.

She's kind of got the Jay Santos grace thing going, accept everyone, don't judge. So she's the only one in the family these two feel comfortable talking to. The parents think they might value her opinion enough to read the book. I think they're actually more worried about whether or not they'll read the book than whether not anyone will be offended.

[TripletDaddy]

Ask your in-laws how they would feel if their now inactive children were to send them a copy of The Godmakers or some other such ilk.

That is how apostates feel about efforts such as these.

Generally, people do not appreciate subtle or overt efforts to tell them they are wrong.

Why not leave them alone for awhile...a long while.

[Art Vandelay]

I could be wrong, I usually am. However, I doubt any book, regardless the author's background and/or sincerity, is likely to bring the apostate back to the fold (an inactive believer, might be a different matter). I think unconditional love (I assume Santos inlaws have) and something that makes the individual feel the spirit is a much better motivator for change.

[scottie]

Ask your in-laws how they would feel if their now inactive children were to send them a copy of The Godmakers or some other such ilk.

That is how apostates feel about efforts such as these.

Generally, people do not appreciate subtle or overt efforts to tell them they are wrong.

Why not leave them alone for awhile...a long while.

This.

[pellegrino]

I don't understand how this is supposed to help disaffected, non believing Mormons.

From the description:

Why do we need a thorough knowledge of the reality — and the depth — of the Apostasy? It is the key to our understanding the need for a Restoration! Evidence of the removal of Christ's church abounds not only in the scriptures but also in the writings of early Christian leaders, particularly those who lived not long after the Apostles. This remarkable volume collects the best available evidence and presents it with unmistakable clarity. The material is detailed enough to appeal to gospel scholars, yet accessible enough to benefit any member of the Church. Centering on thirteen powerful arguments for the reality of the Great Apostasy, this book will forever heighten your appreciation of the Restoration.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I see nothing in it that will address the issues most disaffected members. It sounds like your in-laws need to reevaluate what they think the problem is, because this book isn't going to be the solution.

[NorthwestUteFan]

For all the talk of 'free agency' our church members certainly have a tremendous amount of authoritarian tendencies.

What Bishop Vandelay DDD said above is correct. Perhaps they should get their parents to sit down and watch "The God Who Wasn't There", it is available via streaming on Netflix. As abhorrent as that would be to the parents, this book will likely be to the sister and BIL.

As I see it, this book will be a wedge, affecting all who attempt to drive it into the belief systems of the sister and BIL. I would prefer to keep a solid relationship with a family member based on love and family connections than abandon those and try to be said family members' "savior" (small "s"), and love them no matter what path they choose.

It shouldn't be amazing to discover how much we still have in common with our children/siblings beyond the church...

[jay santos]

I don't understand how this is supposed to help disaffected, non believing Mormons.

From the description:



Maybe I'm wrong, but I see nothing in it that will address the issues most disaffected members. It sounds like your in-laws need to reevaluate what they think the problem is, because this book isn't going to be the solution.

I thought this thread would go in this direction, not debating whether or not to give a book.

It's funny to me that a book by Tad Callister would be described as an intellectual exploration of the issues surrounding the apostacy and restoration. It's the typical Deseret Book fundamental/literal approach.

[pellegrino]

I thought this thread would go in this direction, not debating whether or not to give a book.

It's funny to me that a book by Tad Callister would be described as an intellectual exploration of the issues surrounding the apostacy and restoration. It's the typical Deseret Book fundamental/literal approach.

I guess I was trying to say don't give them the book because it won't help anything. If they really want to help their kids they just need to love them, regardless of their decisions. No book can do that for them.