Never say Never!!!

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  • Swimmer
    The "Open Book" Member
    • Feb 2009
    • 180

    #1

    Never say Never!!!

    I remember back in Primary in the early 70s when we were told that we should decide when we are young that we would never do certain things. This would supposedly make it much easier on us since the decision had already been made. Obviously this in not fool proof as I have come to personally realize over the past few months. Now, I don't wish to get too personal here, but suffice it to say that I have learned the following about myself recently:
    1) Never judge anyone for their actions unless you are perfect yourself.
    2) Never say you would never do something because circumstances change and you just never know what you might do.
    3) I have less ability to withstand temptation than I previously thought I had and it scares the hell out of me not knowing what I may be capable of doing.
    4) Don't let your guard down for even one second.
    5) Seemingly benign and trivial activities can easily lead to much more serious transgressions.
    6) Stay as close to the Lord as you possibly can.
    7) Be grateful for all your experiences - even the bad ones - you learn so much about the nature of yourself and others by going through tough times - even if you caused them.
    8) Going through a situation like this can cause friends and family to completely shun and reject you. And I am talking about long-term friendships that are completely over because of this situation.
    9) God wants to forgive us for whatever we do - he truly does.
    10) Being married may be awful at times, but it's way better than the alternative as I may get to learn here pretty soon.
    11) No matter what happens in your life, and no matter what choices you make, it does no good to beat yourself up over it.
    12) Kids, even young ones, know when things are not right around the house.
    13) And finally - Good men sometimes make big mistakes.

    Okay, I have no idea why I felt the need to share this, but I feel better after writing it, so maybe it was worth it. Please remember, I am absolutely not trying to preach to you guys - I was pointing out things that I probably should have known earlier, and am just barely learning it at age 40.

    By the way, I did nothing illegal - I just felt the need to share that.
    Last edited by Swimmer; 03-10-2009, 05:14 PM.
    “According to the teachings of Buddhism, the worst thing that you can do to your karma is to say to someone else that their faith is bad”
  • UtahDan
    *
    • Nov 2008
    • 14496

    #2
    14. Always wear a jimmy hat.

    Comment

    • The Wankster
      It's not a tumor......
      • Dec 2008
      • 204

      #3
      Originally posted by Swimmer View Post
      I remember back in Primary in the early 70s when we were told that we should decide when we are young that we would never do certain things. This would supposedly make it much easier on us since the decision had already been made. Obviously this in not fool proof as I have come to personally realize over the past few months. Now, I don't wish to get too personal here, but suffice it to say that I have learned the following about myself recently:
      1) Never judge anyone for their actions unless you are perfect yourself.
      2) Never say you would never do something because circumstances change and you just never know what you might do.
      3) I have less ability to withstand temptation than I previously thought I had and it scares the hell out of me not knowing what I may be capable of doing.
      4) Don't let your guard down for even one second.
      5) Seemingly benign and trivial activities can easily lead to much more serious transgressions.
      6) Stay as close to the Lord as you possibly can.
      7) Be grateful for all your experiences - even the bad ones - you learn so much about the nature of yourself and others by going through tough times - even if you caused them.
      8) Going through a situation like this can cause friends and family to completely shun and reject you. And I am talking about long-term friendships that are completely over because of this situation.
      9) God wants to forgive us for whatever we do - he truly does.
      10) Being married may be awful at times, but it's way better than the alternative as I may get to learn here pretty soon.
      11) No matter what happens in your life, and no matter what choices you make, it does no good to beat yourself up over it.
      12) Kids, even young ones, know when things are not right around the house.
      13) And finally - Good men sometimes make big mistakes.

      Okay, I have no idea why I felt the need to share this, but I feel better after writing it, so maybe it was worth it. Please remember, I am absolutely not trying to preach to you guys - I was pointing out things that I probably should have known earlier, and am just barely learning it at age 40.

      By the way, I did nothing illegal - I just felt the need to share that.
      First off, IMO, what it appears you have done is, well........ Pretty shitty to your family, but that's why there is repentence.

      Secondly, is she hot? we need pictures, a story is only as good as the pictures to back it up. You know, a picture is worth 1,000 words, etc......
      Let's get on with the gettin' on....

      Comment

      • KillerDog
        a.k.a. K-dog
        • Feb 2009
        • 4196

        #4
        Originally posted by Swimmer View Post
        I remember back in Primary in the early 70s when we were told that we should decide when we are young that we would never do certain things. This would supposedly make it much easier on us since the decision had already been made. Obviously this in not fool proof as I have come to personally realize over the past few months. Now, I don't wish to get too personal here, but suffice it to say that I have learned the following about myself recently:
        1) Never judge anyone for their actions unless you are perfect yourself.
        2) Never say you would never do something because circumstances change and you just never know what you might do.
        3) I have less ability to withstand temptation than I previously thought I had and it scares the hell out of me not knowing what I may be capable of doing.
        4) Don't let your guard down for even one second.
        5) Seemingly benign and trivial activities can easily lead to much more serious transgressions.
        6) Stay as close to the Lord as you possibly can.
        7) Be grateful for all your experiences - even the bad ones - you learn so much about the nature of yourself and others by going through tough times - even if you caused them.
        8) Going through a situation like this can cause friends and family to completely shun and reject you. And I am talking about long-term friendships that are completely over because of this situation.
        9) God wants to forgive us for whatever we do - he truly does.
        10) Being married may be awful at times, but it's way better than the alternative as I may get to learn here pretty soon.
        11) No matter what happens in your life, and no matter what choices you make, it does no good to beat yourself up over it.
        12) Kids, even young ones, know when things are not right around the house.
        13) And finally - Good men sometimes make big mistakes.

        Okay, I have no idea why I felt the need to share this, but I feel better after writing it, so maybe it was worth it. Please remember, I am absolutely not trying to preach to you guys - I was pointing out things that I probably should have known earlier, and am just barely learning it at age 40.

        By the way, I did nothing illegal - I just felt the need to share that.
        It seems to me that most people find out these truths far later than they would like to. The key to life isn't to be a great person, it is to try to be a great person. Then when you fail, get back up and try again.

        Some people can forgive and some cannot. I'm not sure why that is the case. People active in their respective religions have more trouble forgiving than those who are not active in their own religion. This is a troubling fact that generally results in a bit of ostracism. I'm sorry about that because it sucks.

        Comment

        • woot
          Resident Science Cop
          • Nov 2008
          • 5531

          #5
          Re: #10

          This hasn't been true at all for me. Life is way too short to even think about staying in a crappy marriage. I've never been happier since ending mine (after the initial depression and whatnot, of course).

          Comment

          • Swimmer
            The "Open Book" Member
            • Feb 2009
            • 180

            #6
            Originally posted by The Wankster View Post
            First off, IMO, what it appears you have done is, well........ Pretty shitty to your family, but that's why there is repentence.
            You are right about it being pretty shitty to my family - I understand that completely, and repentance is a great gift that we have been given. My point from the beginning was that to say you would never do something is not a very smart thing to do. People often do things they swore they would never do. And while not everyone will make the same mistakes as I have, we all have our issues to deal with and judging others for their mistakes may come back to bite us in the ass one day.

            I appreciate your comments, but trying to guess what sins I've committed will get you nowhere. But it's not what you seemed to infer in your post!
            “According to the teachings of Buddhism, the worst thing that you can do to your karma is to say to someone else that their faith is bad”

            Comment

            • FMCoug
              Senior Member
              • Nov 2008
              • 6825

              #7
              Saying "never" in this context is a form of pride IMO. There go I but for the grace of God is much more accurate ...
              "It's true that everything happens for a reason. Just remember that sometimes that reason is that you did something really, really, stupid."

              Comment

              • Indy Coug
                Heartless Bastard
                • Dec 2008
                • 18747

                #8
                Originally posted by KillerDog View Post
                It seems to me that most people find out these truths far later than they would like to.
                That's why the human life span isn't 10 years.
                Everything in life is an approximation.

                http://twitter.com/CougarStats

                Comment

                • Swimmer
                  The "Open Book" Member
                  • Feb 2009
                  • 180

                  #9
                  Originally posted by FMCoug View Post
                  Saying "never" in this context is a form of pride IMO. There go I but for the grace of God is much more accurate ...
                  That is the perfect way to state it. Like I said, I have learned so much from this experience, and being less judgmental is certainly one of the big lessons I received. Hopefully I will be able to not only fix my mistakes, but also to keep growing and improving every day. Losing my friends and family members is going to be the hardest thing to deal with, but I just have to keep telling myself that they have their own choices to make as well. I just pray that none of them ever find themselves in a similar situation as I have.
                  Thanks so much.
                  “According to the teachings of Buddhism, the worst thing that you can do to your karma is to say to someone else that their faith is bad”

                  Comment

                  • ERCougar
                    Junior Member
                    • Nov 2008
                    • 10978

                    #10
                    Originally posted by FMCoug View Post
                    Saying "never" in this context is a form of pride IMO. There go I but for the grace of God is much more accurate ...
                    I had an attending in residency who would always say this when he would catch me (or anyone else) saying something about one of our "less desirable" patients. It would get annoying sometimes, but usually when I really needed to hear it. I wish this were more of a mantra in our church.
                    At least the Big Ten went after a big-time addition in Nebraska; the Pac-10 wanted a game so badly, it added Utah
                    -Berry Trammel, 12/3/10

                    Comment

                    • FMCoug
                      Senior Member
                      • Nov 2008
                      • 6825

                      #11
                      Originally posted by ERCougar View Post
                      I wish this were more of a mantra in our church.
                      I couldn't agree more. This brings up one of my pet peeves. The role of grace is completely misunderstood in the Church. Not doctrinally mind you, but I think in a lot of members eyes, the faith vs. works balance is heavily skewed towards works / rightous living. While it is true that we are saved by grace "after all that we can do", the mistake that is made is that the "all we can do" part is precious little.
                      "It's true that everything happens for a reason. Just remember that sometimes that reason is that you did something really, really, stupid."

                      Comment

                      • Swimmer
                        The "Open Book" Member
                        • Feb 2009
                        • 180

                        #12
                        Originally posted by FMCoug View Post
                        I couldn't agree more. This brings up one of my pet peeves. The role of grace is completely misunderstood in the Church. Not doctrinally mind you, but I think in a lot of members eyes, the faith vs. works balance is heavily skewed towards works / rightous living. While it is true that we are saved by grace "after all that we can do", the mistake that is made is that the "all we can do" part is precious little.
                        You have no idea how much this paragraph you just wrote means to me personally. I readily admit that I am not perfect, but I am certainly not the whoremongering pedophile that some people treat me like. I made a mistake, admittedly a big one, but it was a mistake nonetheless and Christ came here to help us return to live with him. He did so much more for me than I could ever possibly do for myself and I refuse to beat myself up over it anymore. Thanks again.
                        Last edited by Swimmer; 03-10-2009, 05:14 PM.
                        “According to the teachings of Buddhism, the worst thing that you can do to your karma is to say to someone else that their faith is bad”

                        Comment

                        • FMCoug
                          Senior Member
                          • Nov 2008
                          • 6825

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Swimmer View Post
                          You have no idea how much this paragraph you just wrote means to me personally. I readily admit that I am not perfect, but I am certainly not the whoremongering pedophile that some people treat me like. I made a mistake, admittedly a big one, but it was a mistake nonetheless and Christ came here to help us return to live with him. He did so much more for me than I could ever possibly do for myself and I refuse to beat myself up over it anymore. Thanks again.
                          Glad I could be of help. Since most of my other posts today have offended some board members, maybe this will help the cosmic balance.
                          "It's true that everything happens for a reason. Just remember that sometimes that reason is that you did something really, really, stupid."

                          Comment

                          • Jeff Lebowski
                            Corporate lackey for Jesus
                            • Nov 2008
                            • 69627

                            #14
                            Swimmer, good for you for wanting to make things right. Hang in there. Sounds like you have a rough road ahead of you for a while.
                            "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                            "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                            "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

                            Comment

                            • Soccermom
                              Senior Member
                              • Nov 2008
                              • 4063

                              #15
                              Good luck Swimmer.

                              I don't like the notion of saying "I will never ______" either. I do think the primary lessons about making up your mind about how you will deal with a situation before you encounter it are valuable. But, as has been expressed in this thread by others, it is not wise to think of oneself as immune to trouble. We all have weaknesses.

                              I wish you all the best on the road ahead of you.

                              Comment

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