Poppin the question

[falafel]

Wear sweatpants.

And make sure to come straight from making out with their daughter.

[SuperGabers]

You guys are mean. Good luck RXQD. How long have you been dating?

[xena]

Make your speech brief. Then listen or pretend to listen. Nod accordingly. Address all questions after earnestly appreciating the questions, and then answer briefly. This is not a job interview. This is an opportunity for them to be right, and for you to exercise brevity.

[Sullyute]

I would keep it simple. Tell them that you love their daughter more than anything in the world and you are planning to ask her to marry you. Don't ask for their blessing because they might not give it. Once you tell them how you feel about their daughter and what your plans are (be very brief) then shut up and wait for their response and then listen to what they have to say. Don't try and alleviate their concerns just stick to the script of how much you love and admire their daughter. They love their daughter too and at least you guys can have THAT in common even if they hate the very sight of you.

Make your speech brief. Then listen or pretend to listen. Nod accordingly. Address all questions after earnestly appreciating the questions, and then answer briefly. This is not a job interview. This is an opportunity for them to be right, and for you to exercise brevity.

If you follow either one of these suggestions you will do fine. Good luck and let us know how it goes (or went)...

[Green Monstah]

When I had the "talk" with my future in-laws, I had been home from my mission for four weeks; I had been dating their daughter for three weeks; I was making 9 bucks an hour and I had four years of college ahead of me. I was respectful and answered some pretty tough questions. In the end, all I got was "Well, if future Mrs. RS wants to marry you, I can't tell her not to."

I'm now their favorite SIL, however (they have 6), so as long as you get an okay, you'll be fine.

[KillerDog]

I advise bringing the girl in with you and letting her "announce" your pending engagement with you present as a garnish. Sit quietly, like a lemon wedge should, and don't take offense to any insults or criticisms offered by the future in-laws.

[Babs]

so, how did it go?

[taekwondave]

My report

so, how did it go?

Haha, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you guys what I SAID and then if you like you can each guess how it went.

"Mr. and Mrs. ________ , I'm sure you know what this is about. Your daughter and I want to get married. However, it has come to my attention that this does not come as welcomed news to you or your other children. Marissa told me about your letters. I have to admit that I was disappointed to learn that the love and appreciation I have felt for you was not reciprocated, but I think it was important for me to know what I was already into and so for that reason I am grateful.

"Now, I was already aware of how you felt when I first decided to come, and I realized that I would probably not be able to eliminate 18 months worth of concerns in one paltry visit, but I figured that really didn't matter. If you didn't like me then you didn't like me. I was still going to marry your daughter with or without your support. And I'm sure you expected as much. That seems to be the modus operandi these days. Perhaps it has always been that way, I don't know.

"But as I was driving here I had a lot of time to think. And I came to realize that this was not something I had to simply accept. I realized that if this girl's parents couldn't accept me, that I'm sure there was another perfectly acceptable candidate waiting somewhere now unseen whose parents COULD. And given the choice between the two, if I am unable at this time to inspire the love and confidence that I feel I deserve from you after this much time of taking such good care of you daughter, that it would actually be better for everyone involved if I just walked away.

"Now, I do not know if it is possible to right this ship in a single night, but the fact that I made the trip means I believe it is worth the try. Your daughter is most definitely worth the try.

"But be assured that when I leave tonight, if I'm not completely convinced that you are 100% behind this marriage, I will not subject your daughter to making a choice between what you want and what she wants, nor will I allow my future in-laws to assume for one minute that what they think and feel does not matter to me. I will call the whole thing off without hesitation, and we can all just move on with our lives.

"So, if you have any questions that you think, if answered, might help you feel differently towards me, I will be happy to address them. If not then I will assume your mind is made up and I will respect that and be on my way."

How do you think it went?

[byu71]

Haha, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you guys what I SAID and then if you like you can each guess how it went.

"Mr. and Mrs. ________ , I'm sure you know what this is about. Your daughter and I want to get married. However, it has come to my attention that this does not come as welcomed news to you or your other children. Marissa told me about your letters. I have to admit that I was disappointed to learn that the love and appreciation I have felt for you was not reciprocated, but I think it was important for me to know what I was already into and so for that reason I am grateful.

"Now, I was already aware of how you felt when I first decided to come, and I realized that I would probably not be able to eliminate 18 months worth of concerns in one paltry visit, but I figured that really didn't matter. If you didn't like me then you didn't like me. I was still going to marry your daughter with or without your support. And I'm sure you expected as much. That seems to be the modus operandi these days. Perhaps it has always been that way, I don't know.

"But as I was driving here I had a lot of time to think. And I came to realize that this was not something I had to simply accept. I realized that if this girl's parents couldn't accept me, that I'm sure there was another perfectly acceptable candidate waiting somewhere now unseen whose parents COULD. And given the choice between the two, if I am unable at this time to inspire the love and confidence that I feel I deserve from you after this much time of taking such good care of you daughter, that it would actually be better for everyone involved if I just walked away.

"Now, I do not know if it is possible to right this ship in a single night, but the fact that I made the trip means I believe it is worth the try. Your daughter is most definitely worth the try.

"But be assured that when I leave tonight, if I'm not completely convinced that you are 100% behind this marriage, I will not subject your daughter to making a choice between what you want and what she wants, nor will I allow my future in-laws to assume for one minute that what they think and feel does not matter to me. I will call the whole thing off without hesitation, and I will never look back.

"So, if you have any questions that you think, if answered, might help you feel differently towards me, I will be happy to address them. If not then I will assume your mind is made up and I will respect that and be on my way."

How do you think it went?

I really hope it went well and will say it did.

Fortunately, I think you met a father unlike me.

I would have said thanks for your honesty, smiled and escorted you to the door.

[CardiacCoug]

"So, if you have any questions that you think, if answered, might help you feel differently towards me, I will be happy to address them. If not then I will assume your mind is made up and I will respect that and be on my way."

How do you think it went?

It probably didn't go well.

You must have confused the hell out of them with that speech.

[Donuthole]

I don't believe for a second that you gave that speech, except in your mind. But i'm a skeptic like that.

[Babs]

I don't believe for a second that you gave that speech, except in your mind. But i'm a skeptic like that.

lol. you beat me to calling bullshit.

[Joe Public]

[TripletDaddy]

Taekwondave, congrats bro.

Where are you guys registered?

[taekwondave]

Hahaha, oh I love this place.

No, I did not give THIS SPEECH. I would have had to write it down and read it to them if that were the case. This is clearly a recreation of what I said. It is very much condensed and I'm sure if flows a lot better than it did when it actually came out of my mouth, but I think it captures perfectly the jist of it. The impression it leaves is identical to the one it left when I actually said it. So you're right, this is not the exact speech I gave, but it is very close.

Would you like to know what happened then?