Are you ready?

[BigFatMeanie]

Oh man, that's a low blow...

[PaloAltoCougar]

Crap, why didn't I think of this?

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

For $135, this outfit promises to take care of your pet after you get taken up in the Rapture. Since the targeted customer base thinks Mormons are as likely to be left behind as the atheists, surely we could serve just as well. This may also have some MLM potential. Anyone want to sign up for my downline?

[TripletDaddy]

Crap, why didn't I think of this?

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

For $135, this outfit promises to take care of your pet after you get taken up in the Rapture. Since the targeted customer base thinks Mormons are as likely to be left behind as the atheists, surely we could serve just as well. This may also have some MLM potential. Anyone want to sign up for my downline?

Is that real?

I thought this was funny. Sorry, folks, the end is near, gotta raise prices! Michael McLean would be proud of such opportunism.
*

*Notice of Rate Increase:* Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our*service rates for*all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.*

[PaloAltoCougar]

Is that real?

I thought this was funny. Sorry, folks, the end is near, gotta raise prices! Michael McLean would be proud of such opportunism.
*

Per Business Week, as of three months ago, they had 100 clients. One infers from the price hike that business since then has been very good.

[TripletDaddy]

Per Business Week, as of three months ago, they had 100 clients. One infers from the price hike that business since then has been very good.

The FAQs are amazing

Q: Do YOU believe in the Rapture.
A: As atheists we do not hold beliefs in the supernatural or a divine being.* Thus, we do not believe in the Rapture.**However, we respect the beliefs of others and are open to the possibility that our perspective could possibly*be wrong.*

Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do.* Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with
Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.

That must be an intersting HR department.

"are these the new hire applications? did you have them fill out a w4 and a Mark 3:29?"

[TripletDaddy]

The fine print in the Terms and Conditions should also not be missed.

The SeattleUte clause:

If* subscriber loses his/her faith and/or the Rapture occurs and subscriber is not Raptured (aka* is "left behind") EE-BP disclaims any liability; no refund will be tendered.**

[CardiacCoug]

Don't Mormons officially believe in Armageddon, the Second Coming, that the world will come to an end sometime soon?

Seems like the only difference between these people and TBMs is that they are putting an exact date on the event.

Pretty small difference, right?

This is not a slam in any way to anyone who has posted in this thread, but it always strikes me as funny when religious people get such a kick out of making fun of other religious people who believe something only slightly different. Isn't the faith of these people admirable?

If you have ancestors from the early days of the LDS Church, they were just as wacky if not more wacky than these people and you revere them them for that religious wackiness.

[TripletDaddy]

the humor here is not about the belief in the End but more about the notion of boarding your hamster for the remaining less righteous to feed and pet into the eternities...and all of this for only $135. The humor lies in the specificity.

An LDS analog would be those who stockade a few bags of wheat and water and three bars of silver in the event of Armageddon. It is all humorous.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Don't Mormons officially believe in Armageddon, the Second Coming, that the world will come to an end sometime soon?

Seems like the only difference between these people and TBMs is that they are putting an exact date on the event.

Pretty small difference, right?

This is not a slam in any way to anyone who has posted in this thread, but it always strikes me as funny when religious people get such a kick out of making fun of other religious people who believe something only slightly different. Isn't the faith of these people admirable?

If you have ancestors from the early days of the LDS Church, they were just as wacky if not more wacky than these people and you revere them them for that religious wackiness.

Groan...

No, that is not a "pretty small difference". Taking a few biblical references and tying things down to a specific day with such confidence is nutty and worthy of mocking.

And you might have a point on the glass houses angle except for the fact that no religion's nuttier aspects and quirks are skewered more thoroughly around here than our own. And it's not even close.

[wally]

Speaking of which, looks like the Dude and myself have something in common with Camping:



Yikes!

Space Ghost is a Civil? Sweet!

[wally]

Don't Mormons officially believe in Armageddon, the Second Coming, that the world will come to an end sometime soon?

Seems like the only difference between these people and TBMs is that they are putting an exact date on the event.

Pretty small difference, right?

This is not a slam in any way to anyone who has posted in this thread, but it always strikes me as funny when religious people get such a kick out of making fun of other religious people who believe something only slightly different. Isn't the faith of these people admirable?

If you have ancestors from the early days of the LDS Church, they were just as wacky if not more wacky than these people and you revere them them for that religious wackiness.

I think that it is OK to slam these guys though. I don't remember anywhere in the article reading that that any of them had post-graduate degrees.

[snowcat]

Sign up for the post rapture looting:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php...21968371215699

[Uncle Ted]

Maybe there is something to this...

CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse'

Are you prepared for the impending zombie invasion?
That's the question posed by the Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention in a Monday blog posting gruesomely titled, "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse."

[TripletDaddy]

Maybe there is something to this...

CDC Warns Public to Prepare for 'Zombie Apocalypse'

I'm ready for the Zombie Apocalypse. I've been practicing. Bring it on!

[Jeff Lebowski]

Speaking of which, looks like the Dude and myself have something in common with Camping:

Yikes!

I guess that explains his fixation with numbers.

Some interesting stuff on that page:

• Departing from doctrines stating no one can know the time of Christ's second coming, he teaches that the exact times of the Rapture and the End of the World are to be revealed sometime towards the end of time (Daniel 12:9-13 prophecy).
• Camping teaches that all churches have become apostate and thus must be abandoned. He encourages personal Bible study and listening to his Family Radio broadcasts.[20][21]

Followers of Camping claim that around 200 million people (approximately 3% of the world's population) will be raptured.[33] As for the remainder of the human population, Camping himself believes in annihilationism, which is the view that those who are not saved will simply cease to be conscious rather than spend eternity in Hell. Those who were "unsaved" and died prior to May 21 will not be affected by or experience the Rapture or the end of the world.