Why do you or yours hate Mother's Day

[sspice]

It's just your mother and the mother of your children day. Grandmothers also should be recognized, but the main focus is mom, and mom of your kids.

Grandparents have their own day in September...it's even called just that, Grandparents day.

[sspice]

My parents are the same way. My wife and I recently had our first child so this is her first mother's day as a mother. All of the previous years when we'd talk on mothers day they could never understand that since my wife was not a mother this holiday wasn't for her. It isn't woman's day but mother's day.

I think the church often tries to include all women so as to not offend those without children...whether it be that they're married but can't conceive or that they're still single. The church has promised women who remain single throughout their mortal lives will find worthy husbands and children in the life after death. Therefore, all women are included in Mother's day. Some women may find this comforting and appreciate being included, but I often felt a bit silly/awkward when the young men would hand me a flower and candy bar on Mother's day. It was a nice gesture but the fact of the matter was, I wasn't a Mother at the time so it just made me feel awkward.

[marsupial]

I think the church often tries to include all women so as to not offend those without children...whether it be that they're married but can't conceive or that they're still single. The church has promised women who remain single throughout their mortal lives will find worthy husbands and children in the life after death. Therefore, all women are included in Mother's day. Some women may find this comforting and appreciate being included, but I often felt a bit silly/awkward when the young men would hand me a flower and candy bar on Mother's day. It was a nice gesture but the fact of the matter was, I wasn't a Mother at the time so it just made me feel awkward.

It's pretty much damned if you do, damned if you don't. I never minded getting Mother's Day gifts prior to becoming a mother, but I married early (21) and got pregnant young (24), so I never had to deal with the frustrations and disappointment of infertility or being an older Mormon single.

[Mrs. Funk]

I was in France doing an internship on our first married Mother's Day. The ward insisted Mpfunk take home the tomato plant intended for me, despite the fact that a) he clearly is not a mother b) we lived in an apartment with no access to a garden or even reasonable amounts of sunlight and c) I wasn't there. We still get a chuckle over that one.

That said, Mother's Day Sunday neither bothers nor particularly excites me. I'd be fine if we didn't do anything particularly special in terms of talks or hand-outs after sacrament meeting for either Mother's or Father's Days, and maintain our regularly scheduled program. I am perhaps in the minority here.

[hello]

I am always sad when I hear people talk about feeling guilty about anything that has to do with gospel teachings (except the bad stuff, of course). Church should inspire you to be a better person. A talk or lesson brings up a point that you feel you can improve on, and you recommit to working on that. I never feel guilty about anything I hear at church, but I know many people do. I'm not sure what that means.

Although, I do think it would be great to get Mother's Day off of church

[myboynoah]

My wife was busying herself this morning putting together some flower bouquets for the kids to take to school. I asked her what was going on... "It's teacher appreciation week!" I responded that it seems unfair that teachers get a whole week, but mothers get only one day. I got a quick kiss on the cheek for that... +1 for me.

I don't hate Mother's Day. But perhaps the "every week is some new special kind of week to celebrate X" mentality could have the effect of cheapening the legitimate days that we should pause and celebrate.

cheers.

Excellent thoughts.

I love my mother, God rest her soul. I love the mother of my children. I'm not a mother and look forward to celebrating the day with gusto.

[BoylenOver]

I never got the impression that any woman at "my" church felt guilt (or even a strong sense of pride) because of Mother's Day. There's certainly a guilt that's felt by most people, at various points and to varying degrees, regarding the achievements/perceived righteousness of particular people, and I've certainly encountered that in other ways. Hell, I stopped going to church because I never felt like I could live the life that other people were living (among other reasons). But it's never been embodied in Mother's Day.

I love my mom, but I've never had more than a superficial attitude towards the holiday itself. It's one more day to remember a card and flowers, possibly lunch after church. Never much more than that.

[Green Monstah]

I am always sad when I hear people talk about feeling guilty about anything that has to do with gospel teachings (except the bad stuff, of course). Church should inspire you to be a better person. A talk or lesson brings up a point that you feel you can improve on, and you recommit to working on that. I never feel guilty about anything I hear at church, but I know many people do. I'm not sure what that means.

Although, I do think it would be great to get Mother's Day off of church

A great idea if ever there was one.

[Jacob]

That book looks pretty interesting. At least the reviews made it sound like it. Where did you hear about it and would you also recommend it to non-guilty parents?

I do recommend it. I didn't feel guilty because of my parenting, but now I do even less and still don't feel guilty...its great!. I'm only halfway through the book, and it can get a little long-winded, but its major premise is that parents today try to do way too much and if they'd knock it off, they'd be happier...and have more kids.

I've finally started letting my kids roam the neighborhood more freely. (they are 5 and 3). I always realized that when I was that age, that's what I did. My neighborhood is much safer even than my childhood neighborhood, so why am I constantly watching the kids? If only other parents would catch on. It's amazing how few people in the neighborhood let their kids go out and play.

[The_Tick]

I am not a huge fan of the holiday.

I love my mother, but I don't like her. So it is touchy.

I try to make is special for my wife though.

[Eddie]

Our ward does very little for Mother's day - or Father's day for that matter.

Usually they do attempt to have a talk in Sacrament Meeting - but it tends to be tangential. Something about Sarah or Esther or someone else having faith. Now and then we get someone talking about their own mother.

The Primary Children alternate every other year singing a song either in Priesthood openning exercises or in Relief Society. So every two years you get a song.

And the Bishop has decided not to give any kind of candy, flower, etc. I remember asking about it once and his reply was that "half the people are mad if you do it, the other half are mad if you don't. I decided as long as people are going to be mad either way, we might as well save the money."

That said - the 1st counselor in the Bishopric has gotten some pretty good glares from the RS president when he tells her that they aren't getting flowers for the women because they are saving up to purchase grills for the men on Father's day.

[Sullyute]

And the Bishop has decided not to give any kind of candy, flower, etc. I remember asking about it once and his reply was that "half the people are mad if you do it, the other half are mad if you don't. I decided as long as people are going to be mad either way, we might as well save the money."

That said - the 1st counselor in the Bishopric has gotten some pretty good glares from the RS president when he tells her that they aren't getting flowers for the women because they are saving up to purchase grills for the men on Father's day.

We all know that any gift for Mother's day comes out of the Elder's quorum budget anyway...

[KillerDog]

Best Mothers Day gift ever. I took my 18 month old to the store and told him to get some things for his Mama. He wandered around and whatever he picked up and carried long enough, I bought and we wrapped it up to give to my wife. He picked up a bicycle seat and I was really excited that he would carry it around for a little while so I could buy it but it was too heavy. My wife ended up getting two stuffed animals and a broken flower. My son took back the stuffed animals shortly after giving them to her.

[SeattleUte]

I think a lot of women don't like mothers' day because their husbands are inconsiderate and do a half baked job of celebrating the day. Leaving it to the LDS church to do it for you is one way to fail.

[Moliere]

I think a lot of women don't like mothers' day because their husbands are inconsiderate and do a half baked job of celebrating the day. Leaving it to the LDS church to do it for you is one way to fail.

I agree with this, but I'd also not limit it to mothers day.