Mormon Doctrine According to Dad

[doctorcoug]

I just came up with a repressed memory...the time pops sent me to 7-eleven to buy him diet coke on the sabbath because my computer programming nerd brother (not found here on this board) and I drank all of his diet coke. That trip landed me in the ER. See, diet coke drinkers are sinners, as are those that break the sabbath, so mom just said I had better repent.

[NorthwestUteFan]

My Dad is a never-ending fountain of his own Mormon doctrine.

The top five:

1. The general authorities teach in the temple that those who wear garments with shorts will not attain celestial glory
2. To not wear sunday attire all day on sunday is to break the sabbath (note the sabbath has nothing to do with sunday; it's saturday but whatever)
3. Only Disney movies or anything involving musical theatre elements made before 1975 are eligible for sunday viewing.4. When on a plane and the flight seems to be at risk, raise your right arm to the square and take command of the elements using the power of the priesthood.
5. God visited Joseph Smith via wormholes.

Cool. What did he think of West Side Story? Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim were brilliant in this one. (I used to think there were some swear words in this one - shit, f-word, etc - but I can't find them).

Example:


ACTION (Sings)
My father is a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

[NorthwestUteFan]

I just came up with a repressed memory...the time pops sent me to 7-eleven to buy him diet coke on the sabbath because my computer programming nerd brother (not found here on this board) and I drank all of his diet coke. That trip landed me in the ER. See, diet coke drinkers are sinners, as are those that break the sabbath, so mom just said I had better repent.

When I was about 7 my mom was a YW adviser. One sunday one of the girls from her class rode her bike across a busy street to the Sev to get a slurpee, was hit and killed by a drunk driver.

I got the 'don't shop on Sunday' speech for several years, using this tragic event as the backdrop.

[TripletDaddy]

Cool. What did he think of West Side Story? Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim were brilliant in this one. (I used to think there were some swear words in this one - shit, f-word, etc - but I can't find them).

Example:


ACTION (Sings)
My father is a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

You are quoting the play version, which I am sure you did not see on Broadway.

In the movie version, Riff sings those lyrics and those arent even the correct ones. Get your sh** together.

[Viking]

I just came up with a repressed memory...the time pops sent me to 7-eleven to buy him diet coke on the sabbath because my computer programming nerd brother (not found here on this board) and I drank all of his diet coke. That trip landed me in the ER. See, diet coke drinkers are sinners, as are those that break the sabbath, so mom just said I had better repent.

Let me help with your recollection.

It was diet dr pepper (caffeine free, of course)

I drank them too

Thus I had to take you on the back of my bike on the "pump pegs". On Audelia Rd, I hit a bump, you slipped; one of your heels was sliced open by a rotating spoke.

Then there was the time dad got into a huge tizzy over something on a sunday; he left. Our two dogs started fighting over something; middle brother tried to break it up and he was bitten.

Seriously, is it any wonder you're the only active one of the three oldest?

[Borderline Divine]

Blows me away

When I was about 7 my mom was a YW adviser. One sunday one of the girls from her class rode her bike across a busy street to the Sev to get a slurpee, was hit and killed by a drunk driver.

I got the 'don't shop on Sunday' speech for several years, using this tragic event as the backdrop.

That God would just flat KILL YOUR ASS for shopping on Sunday. Anybody ever heard of the New Testament?

He wasn't even that tough pre-JC.

[doctorcoug]

Let me help with your recollection.

It was diet dr pepper (caffeine free, of course)

I drank them too

Thus I had to take you on the back of my bike on the "pump pegs". On Audelia Rd, I hit a bump, you slipped; one of your heels was sliced open by a rotating spoke.

Then there was the time dad got into a huge tizzy over something on a sunday; he left. Our two dogs started fighting over something; middle brother tried to break it up and he was bitten.

Seriously, is it any wonder you're the only active one of the three oldest?

Wow, I totally remember now. Way to bring up deep dark memories.

[grapevine]

That God would just flat KILL YOUR ASS for shopping on Sunday. Anybody ever heard of the New Testament?

He wasn't even that tough pre-JC.

Someone in the Old Testament was stoned for picking up sticks on the sabbath. He I guess was just told not to do it and did it right after so he was put to death.