Mormon Doctrine According to Dad

[Viking]

My Dad is a never-ending fountain of his own Mormon doctrine.

The top five:

1. The general authorities teach in the temple that those who wear garments with shorts will not attain celestial glory
2. To not wear sunday attire all day on sunday is to break the sabbath (note the sabbath has nothing to do with sunday; it's saturday but whatever)
3. Only Disney movies or anything involving musical theatre elements made before 1975 are eligible for sunday viewing.
4. When on a plane and the flight seems to be at risk, raise your right arm to the square and take command of the elements using the power of the priesthood.
5. God visited Joseph Smith via wormholes.

[CardiacCoug]

"Mormon Doctrine According to Dad" could be a great idea for a Twitter account that could eventually become a book -- kind of like the Sh** My Dad Says thing.

[BlueHair]

My Dad is a never-ending fountain of his own Mormon doctrine.

The top five:

1. The general authorities teach in the temple that those who wear garments with shorts will not attain celestial glory
2. To not wear sunday attire all day on sunday is to break the sabbath (note the sabbath has nothing to do with sunday; it's saturday but whatever)
3. Only Disney movies or anything involving musical theatre elements made before 1975 are eligible for sunday viewing.
4. When on a plane and the flight seems to be at risk, raise your right arm to the square and take command of the elements using the power of the priesthood.
5. God visited Joseph Smith via wormholes.

Your dad sounds awesome.

[Viking]

Your dad sounds awesome.

He's a genius.

The kind of genius who thinks everyone else is stupid and gets fired from every job he has because he tells everyone how stupid they are and how much smarter he is than they are.

[myboynoah]

My Dad is a never-ending fountain of his own Mormon doctrine.

The top five:

1. The general authorities teach in the temple that those who wear garments with shorts will not attain celestial glory
2. To not wear sunday attire all day on sunday is to break the sabbath (note the sabbath has nothing to do with sunday; it's saturday but whatever)3. Only Disney movies or anything involving musical theatre elements made before 1975 are eligible for sunday viewing.
4. When on a plane and the flight seems to be at risk, raise your right arm to the square and take command of the elements using the power of the priesthood.
5. God visited Joseph Smith via wormholes.

Then my boys never break the sabbath, but not out of good intent. They are just unmotivated. I asked Noah why he never changes after church and he said it's too much of a hassle. Also, he will only unbutton his shirt just enough to pull it over his head when taking it off. He's very efficient.

[Viking]

Then my boys never break the sabbath, but not out of good intent. They are just unmotivated. I asked Noah why he never changes after church and he said it's too much of a hassle. Also, he will only unbutton his shirt just enough to pull it over his head when taking it off. He's very efficient.

You haven't seen items 10 of the next fifty on my dad's list: there are plenty of other ways for them to break the sabbath, which according to him, monday night family home evening is, by extension, part of the sabbath (though the only FHEs we ever had normally involved some form of family meltdown, including several threats made by dad to leave my mom and the family destitute; yay FHE). BTW, he did that without leaving the family (destitute, that is).

[byu71]

My Dad is a never-ending fountain of his own Mormon doctrine.

The top five:

1. The general authorities teach in the temple that those who wear garments with shorts will not attain celestial glory
2. To not wear sunday attire all day on sunday is to break the sabbath (note the sabbath has nothing to do with sunday; it's saturday but whatever)
3. Only Disney movies or anything involving musical theatre elements made before 1975 are eligible for sunday viewing.
4. When on a plane and the flight seems to be at risk, raise your right arm to the square and take command of the elements using the power of the priesthood.
5. God visited Joseph Smith via wormholes.

Wow, number 5 answers a question I have had since I was a teenager.

[BlueHair]

He's a genius.

The kind of genius who thinks everyone else is stupid and gets fired from every job he has because he tells everyone how stupid they are and how much smarter he is than they are.

I don't know why but I really enjoy people like that. My wife has a couple of relatives that everyone in the family can't stand, but I'm like a magnet to them. They find me at family gatherings and I end up talking to them for hours. They always have some ideas that are really strange, but without fail, they say something that makes me change the way I see things. My wife always praises me for talking to them, but the truth is I really enjoy it.

[DU Ute]

This thread explains a lot.

[Surfah]

He's a genius.

The kind of genius who thinks everyone else is stupid and gets fired from every job he has because he tells everyone how stupid they are and how much smarter he is than they are.

That's how my last boss was. There was no doubting his genius and part of that was the way he could insult you about 10 times in one sentence before you caught the first one.

[Viking]

This thread explains a lot.

DU, you are one of the remnant tribal members of viking disdainers. come into the new century, bubula, he's awesome now!

[Green Monstah]

He's a genius.

The kind of genius who thinks everyone else is stupid and gets fired from every job he has because he tells everyone how stupid they are and how much smarter he is than they are.

Son?? Is that you?

[TripletDaddy]

I'm sensing some unresolved anger issues towards your father. You have mentioned his lack of financial resources multiple times yet I can't recall a single positive thing you have ever posted about him.

[DU Ute]

DU, you are one of the remnant tribal members of viking disdainers. come into the new century, bubula, he's awesome now!

I have always thought you were awesome, I'm just giving you a hard time. Anyone who is such a huge Rush fan is a friend of mine.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I am very curious about #4. Has your father found himself in a plane where he needed to control the weather a lot? Or is this just one of those "be prepared" type things? Your other items seem to fit within some kind of need to know church knowledge/salvation material, but that one is out of left field.