New Year Res for Church

[The_Tick]

So...

My New Year Resolution at Church for 2011 is:

1. Be less critical of Ward Leadership.
2. Serve more.

I get a call an hour ago from the Executive Secretary telling me that the Bishop would like to see me for an interview tomorrow at 1230.

I am the only interview scheduled for the day. (Why he told me this I don't know.)

So my resolution may last a whole 2 days.

I have a feeling this has something to do with my comments regarding my beliefs and standard LDS teachings possibly not being aligned.

I already have two callings.

[pellegrino]

stand tall and be courteous.

[LA Ute]

Do a decent job on my home teaching and make it to Mutual on Tuesday nights.

[The_Tick]

stand tall and be courteous.

What do you mean?

I am going to be cordial no doubt, as he is a good dude just doing his job.

I just don't know why I have been hit with a bout of anxiety over it.

[pellegrino]

What do you mean?

I am going to be cordial no doubt, as he is a good dude just doing his job.

I just don't know why I have been hit with a bout of anxiety over it.

I mean exactly that, be true to yourself, but don't get so lost in yourself that you're not courteous, for then you'd no longer be true to yourself.

[clackamascoug]

I can't ever recall having a meeting with a Bishop and regretting it.

Go with that attitude.

[Art Vandelay]

I can't ever recall having a meeting with a Bishop and regretting it.

Go with that attitude.

You've yet to see me pull-hook a brand new ball OB. Most regret witnessing that.

[NorthwestUteFan]

I can't ever recall having a meeting with a Bishop and regretting it.

Go with that attitude.

I have regretted meeting with bishops before, and because of that i have to work very hard to have a good attitude around them. I struggle with a healthy, or unhealthy as it were, distrust of church leadership.

I once had a bishop answer the phone while in the middle of giving me a blessing to help me with some struggles in my life. To this day I am not sure why he interrupted a 30 second blessing with a 2 minute phone call. Thanks for making me feel important, Bishop.

Another time, that same bishop somehow (directly or indirectly) relayed all of my recently-confessed foibles to my mother, which she conveniently used to batter me about the head and neck for months - and she apparently passed 'the word' around the ward as well.

The neighbors kids were getting busted by the dozens of Utah County's Finest for having HUGE (unauthorized) keggers at their Grandfather's cabin, and somehow MY tiny and very personal problems were being shouted from rooftops. Thanks for literally fulfilling scriptures, Mom. Oh, and thanks for keeping personal conversations PRIVATE, Bishop.

Those events were decades ago and they still haunt me. But I digress.

My New Year's resolution for this year is to teach ONLY the basic, fundamental Church doctrine in EQ (we members of the Presidency teach on Fast Sunday). On days when we have our standard lesson discussions I will strive to keep the discussions on-topic and similarly rooted in firm fundamentals. We have a decent number of recent converts and I prefer to strengthen the bedrock foundations rather than discuss the more esoteric aspects.

[Uncle Ted]

I have regretted meeting with bishops before, and because of that i have to work very hard to have a good attitude around them. I struggle with a healthy, or unhealthy as it were, distrust of church leadership.

I once had a bishop answer the phone while in the middle of giving me a blessing to help me with some struggles in my life. To this day I am not sure why he interrupted a 30 second blessing with a 2 minute phone call. Thanks for making me feel important, Bishop.

Another time, that same bishop somehow (directly or indirectly) relayed all of my recently-confessed foibles to my mother, which she conveniently used to batter me about the head and neck for months - and she apparently passed 'the word' around the ward as well.

The neighbors kids were getting busted by the dozens of Utah County's Finest for having HUGE (unauthorized) keggers at their Grandfather's cabin, and somehow MY tiny and very personal problems were being shouted from rooftops. Thanks for literally fulfilling scriptures, Mom. Oh, and thanks for keeping personal conversations PRIVATE, Bishop.

Those events were decades ago and they still haunt me. But I digress.

Hmm... I thought bishops were to keep confidential matters they discuss (i.e. confessions) on the low down (unless there was something like wife/child abuse involved). This could come back and bite a bishop in the *ss, IMHO. For example, an YM goes in and confesses a sin. The bishop tells the YM's parent and somehow it gets out to the ward. The YM lets the other YM/YW in the ward know that the bishop will rat them out if they confess to him. Sooner or later the entire YM/YW group doesn't trust their bishop. Also, adults wonder if the bishop will rat them out to their spouse if they go and confess a sin. The bishop just screwed himself and might as well ask to be released rather than let the entire ward delay their confessions.

I have a good friend that was a bishop and when he was just put in he was kept really busy for the first month or so because of all the people coming in to confess their sins that they wouldn't tell the previous bishop. I have to wonder if the previous bishop wasn't trustworthy.

My New Year's resolution for this year is to teach ONLY the basic, fundamental Church doctrine in EQ (we members of the Presidency teach on Fast Sunday). On days when we have our standard lesson discussions I will strive to keep the discussions on-topic and similarly rooted in firm fundamentals. We have a decent number of recent converts and I prefer to strengthen the bedrock foundations rather than discuss the more esoteric aspects.

I kind of miss those EQ discussions about the finer details of the gospel like if the pearly gates swing outward or inward. (Personally I believe they roll side-to-side like at the temple.) I haven't been to an EQ meeting for nearly 10 years but really don't miss much more about it.

[LA Ute]

I have a good friend that was a bishop and when he was just put in he was kept really busy for the first month or so because of all the people coming in to confess their sins that they wouldn't tell the previous bishop. I have to wonder if the previous bishop wasn't trustworthy.

I was once ward clerk to a bishop who occasionally shared details of his counseling sessions with couples that did not need to be shared under any stretch of reasoning. I never had the occasion to share anything very private with that bishop, but I would have been very reluctant to do so. He later became SP and I think he did a better job with confidentiality, but I am not sure.

He was an exception in my experience, BTW.

[Paperback Writer]

Hmm... I thought bishops were to keep confidential matters they discuss (i.e. confessions) on the low down (unless there was something like wife/child abuse involved). This could come back and bite a bishop in the *ss, IMHO. For example, an YM goes in and confesses a sin. The bishop tells the YM's parent and somehow it gets out to the ward. The YM lets the other YM/YW in the ward know that the bishop will rat them out if they confess to him. Sooner or later the entire YM/YW group doesn't trust their bishop. Also, adults wonder if the bishop will rat them out to their spouse if they go and confess a sin. The bishop just screwed himself and might as well ask to be released rather than let the entire ward delay their confessions.

I have a good friend that was a bishop and when he was just put in he was kept really busy for the first month or so because of all the people coming in to confess their sins that they wouldn't tell the previous bishop. I have to wonder if the previous bishop wasn't trustworthy.

That's exactly what happened with one of the Bishops of my youth. One of my church friends at the time had a WW problem with alcohol. His parents were very strict and suspicious he had a problem but he had lied to them about it and had avoided getting caught red-handed. But because of the parental suspicions of drinking and lying, some heavy consequences were laid out if he were caught. All this was weighing heavily on the kid and he went to me for advice since I already knew about it. I suggested he hang out with a different crowd and talk with the Bishop. The Bishop immediately infomed his parents and the gauntlet fell on the kid. Lots of restrictions that ruined his social life and athletic endeavors.

No other youth confessed to this Bishop about anything. Fortunately, this Bishop was released a few years later and the next Bishop was kept busy with all the "catching up". From the time I was 12-18, I had 4 different Bishops in that ward-kind of crazy.

Epilogue:
The kid's drinking problem continued into adulthood. Resulted in HC violations at BYU and eventual transfer to another university. I think he was an alcoholic. Not that I lay that at the feet of any Bishop.

[Jacob]

My New Year's resolution for this year is to teach ONLY the basic, fundamental Church doctrine in EQ (we members of the Presidency teach on Fast Sunday). On days when we have our standard lesson discussions I will strive to keep the discussions on-topic and similarly rooted in firm fundamentals. We have a decent number of recent converts and I prefer to strengthen the bedrock foundations rather than discuss the more esoteric aspects.

Why are you making that your resolution? Sounds boring to me. My hope is that we will see less of the basics in EQ this year. The lessons under the gospel principles manual in my ward have been tedious.

I guess because of the converts. In my ward, most of us are like me, we've had the fundamentals for 32 years.

[NorthwestUteFan]

Why are you making that your resolution? Sounds boring to me. My hope is that we will see less of the basics in EQ this year. The lessons under the gospel principles manual in my ward have been tedious.

I guess because of the converts. In my ward, most of us are like me, we've had the fundamentals for 32 years.

I was trying to be positive. Perhaps a better resolution is to attend more than 70% of sacrament and sunday school meetings (I attend 100% of EQ however). It may very well be possible to even get my family into a pew before the sacrament prayer more than 50% of the time, so perhaps that would be a good resolution as well.

It is exceptionally easy for the conversation to go entirely off the reservation. We have a number of people with 30-40+ years in the church, but a large portion of our members have been in the church <10 yrs. I think it is vital to be less confusing than to strain at the gnats.

I also prefer to have a lively discussion in EQ. Fundamentals need not be boring. Personal experiences and lively conversations definitely help to keep the attention of everybody in the class.

My favorite discussions involve conversion stories from people who joined the church in their teens, 20's, 30's, etc. They already had a shaped world view before encountering the church and as such their stories can be very uplifting. Those of us who were raised in the church sometimes need to feel and understand what transpires when somebody truly becomes converted.

[NorthwestUteFan]

Hmm... I thought bishops were to keep confidential matters they discuss (i.e. confessions) on the low down (unless there was something like wife/child abuse involved). This could come back and bite a bishop in the *ss, IMHO. For example, an YM goes in and confesses a sin. The bishop tells the YM's parent and somehow it gets out to the ward. The YM lets the other YM/YW in the ward know that the bishop will rat them out if they confess to him. Sooner or later the entire YM/YW group doesn't trust their bishop.

It goes deeper than that. How often have precisely this type of loose lips sunk the ship of a person's individual salvation? I understand they are trying to help, but they run the risk of turning a person completely away from the church for the rest of his or her life.

Perhaps an even better New Years resolution should be, 'I resolve to do everything within my power to avoid adversely affecting another person's eternal salvation'.

One of my best friends, the Best Man at my wedding, converted to Catholocism* later in life due largely to his issues with the way a bishop handled some challenging issues within his family.

*for the record, I am thrilled that he is a devout and actively practicing Catholic. It is better than him being a completely disenfranchised, non-believing and inactive Momon.

[KillerDog]

My resolution is to encourage my wife to either (1) stop feeling guilty about not doing her calling perfectly or (2) get her to do it perfectly enough so she won't feel guilty. Either is reasonable as an outcome but something has to happen.