13 Articles of Healthy Chastity

[Mrs. Funk]

Feminist Mormon Housewives can produce mixed feelings among some, but I'd seriously recommend reading their latest post, 13 Articles of Healthy Chastity. It's very well thought out and well-written, and I think touches on a lot of the issues in teaching youth in the church about chastity. I think it could even be a good jumping off point for a fireside or at least a family home evening about the subject.

[PaloAltoCougar]

That was a very interesting article. I wish I'd been able to read it before I embarked on my five-year tour of duty in interviewing the youth. I'd like to believe my approach was consistent with the 13 articles she raised, including the last one, but I know I could have done better.

[SuperGabers]

Here's the question I raised on fMH: If a YM/YW tells their bishop they have been abused, is the bishop required to report it to local authorities?

Lisa's article recounts how some YW are made to go through the repentance process for rape, which is disgustingly wrong in and of itself, but there is no mention of the bishop taking that information and reporting it. So I am curious as to what the protocol is.

And... I have never really thought about how creepy it is to have our YW confess sexual sins to an male authoritarian figure. It makes me wonder what I will teach my children regarding their own sexual experiences (Lord knows they will have some before marriage) and whom they can trust to talk to about them. IMO and AFMAMH, I think the church should stay out of the sex ed business. I don't know if it really is the church's place to be teaching my future YW and YM about chastity and morals.

I will leave that to the pro: UtahDan.

[clackamascoug]

Here's the question I raised on fMH: If a YM/YW tells their bishop they have been abused, is the bishop required to report it to local authorities?

Lisa's article recounts how some YW are made to go through the repentance process for rape, which is disgustingly wrong in and of itself, but there is no mention of the bishop taking that information and reporting it. So I am curious as to what the protocol is.

And... I have never really thought about how creepy it is to have our YW confess sexual sins to an male authoritarian figure. It makes me wonder what I will teach my children regarding their own sexual experiences (Lord knows they will have some before marriage) and whom they can trust to talk to about them. IMO and AFMAMH, I think the church should stay out of the sex ed business. I don't know if it really is the church's place to be teaching my future YW and YM about chastity and morals.

I will leave that to the pro: UtahDan.

I agree... and that whole sexual relations with only your wife is so 1830.

Actually I do agree, but where is the middle ground?

[Maximus]

Here's the question I raised on fMH: If a YM/YW tells their bishop they have been abused, is the bishop required to report it to local authorities?

Lisa's article recounts how some YW are made to go through the repentance process for rape, which is disgustingly wrong in and of itself, but there is no mention of the bishop taking that information and reporting it. So I am curious as to what the protocol is.

And... I have never really thought about how creepy it is to have our YW confess sexual sins to an male authoritarian figure. It makes me wonder what I will teach my children regarding their own sexual experiences (Lord knows they will have some before marriage) and whom they can trust to talk to about them. IMO and AFMAMH, I think the church should stay out of the sex ed business. I don't know if it really is the church's place to be teaching my future YW and YM about chastity and morals.

I will leave that to the pro: UtahDan.

What should the church be teaching then, if not morality? Should we edit the BofM and the Bible to take out the verses on morality and chastity?

[fusnik]

Do people think it sound to allow middle aged males to ask prepubescent and pubescent young people intimate questions about their blossoming sexuality behind closed doors?

I've been on the, no interviews with the Bishop train for years now.

If/when I have kids and if those kids want to be baptized, priesthood, etc, I will insist on being in the room during the interviews. No self adoration questions to my kids!

[RobinFinderson]

Do people think it sound to allow middle aged males to ask prepubescent and pubescent young people intimate questions about their blossoming sexuality behind closed doors?

I've been on the, no interviews with the Bishop train for years now.

If/when I have kids and if those kids want to be baptized, priesthood, etc, I will insist on being in the room during the interviews. No self adoration questions to my kids!

Good point. What hold true for the young women should also hold true for the young men. I had on SP who definitely crossed the line appropriateness when trying to get me to open up about my sex life. He told me intimate details about his own sex life, he stood up and simulated sex acts that he had participated in, and taught me false sex information like -- masturbation is a gateway to homosexuality/bestiality, and -- masturbation reduces the chances of being able to have children in the future. This was a SP who was known for his love and special rapport with the youth. Son AND daughter, I would never wish a sex talk from that man on any child.

[Surfah]

Good point. What hold true for the young women should also hold true for the young men. I had on SP who definitely crossed the line appropriateness when trying to get me to open up about my sex life. He told me intimate details about his own sex life, he stood up and simulated sex acts that he had participated in, and taught me false sex information like -- masturbation is a gateway to homosexuality/bestiality, and -- masturbation reduces the chances of being able to have children in the future. This was a SP who was known for his love and special rapport with the youth. Son AND daughter, I would never wish a sex talk from that man on any child.

Sorry but I am pulling this out:

:bsflag:

[DrumNFeather]

Good point. What hold true for the young women should also hold true for the young men. I had on SP who definitely crossed the line appropriateness when trying to get me to open up about my sex life. He told me intimate details about his own sex life, he stood up and simulated sex acts that he had participated in, and taught me false sex information like -- masturbation is a gateway to homosexuality/bestiality, and -- masturbation reduces the chances of being able to have children in the future. This was a SP who was known for his love and special rapport with the youth. Son AND daughter, I would never wish a sex talk from that man on any child.

Do you believe that people like this are the exception or the rule?

[RobinFinderson]

Sorry but I am pulling this out:

:bsflag:

The subject was masturbation, and he wanted me to know how he had struggled with it too, even well into his marriage. He was a very animated dude, and was standing up for much the interview. He talked about how he would be intimate with his wife in one room (standing on one side of his office) then he would be in the shower (walks over to the other side of the room), cleaning up, when he would get horny again and end up taking care of himself in the shower (this is the first time he simulates masturbation in the interview. It happened again when he discussed the secret sock he kept next to the bed for when his wife wasn't there, which is right before he asked, "Have you done anything sexual with an animal?" Because masturbation leads to bestiality).

Believe what you want.

[RobinFinderson]

Do you believe that people like this are the exception or the rule?

He was probably the exception. Of the several religious leaders with whom I've felt it necessary to confess my struggles with chastity, he was the only one that asked for explicit details and he was the only one to share explicit details. Others took the opportunity to teach misinformation, like the idea that masturbation leads to homosexuality. I'd guess that teaching bad information is fairly common.

[pellegrino]

He was probably the exception. Of the several religious leaders with whom I've felt it necessary to confess my struggles with chastity, he was the only one that asked for explicit details and he was the only one to share explicit details. Others took the opportunity to teach misinformation, like the idea that masturbation leads to homosexuality. I'd guess that teaching bad information is fairly common.

I never encountered that in an interview with the bishop. I did see that in seminary videos and lessons, but never with a bishop. They always approached it with something like "ok, go and sin no more."

[UtahDan]

My personal view is that it is okay for a Bishop to ask a child whether they live the law of chastity. If the child says "what is that" I think the answer should be "that is a question I would prefer your parent answer and once you have talked to them about it we can talk again." I think it is okay for the church to teach morality/chastity but not for an interview to be a place that ends up being sex-ed. Super can speak for herself but I think that is what she means.

I also agree with Drum that people who do inappropriate things in those interviews are the exception. Still, they exist, and Drum and I know one of them. I have a lot of hesitation about just rolling the dice on an issue like that with a child. I have thought that the suggestion others have made of a parent being present seems very appropriate for the same reason there are locks on the temple lockers.

[YOhio]

The subject was masturbation, and he wanted me to know how he had struggled with it too, even well into his marriage. He was a very animated dude, and was standing up for much the interview. He talked about how he would be intimate with his wife in one room (standing on one side of his office) then he would be in the shower (walks over to the other side of the room), cleaning up, when he would get horny again and end up taking care of himself in the shower (this is the first time he simulates masturbation in the interview. It happened again when he discussed the secret sock he kept next to the bed for when his wife wasn't there, which is right before he asked, "Have you done anything sexual with an animal?" Because masturbation leads to bestiality).

Believe what you want.

WARNING: Video clip is a bit low-brow

[ame="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d77302c52c/whitest-kids-u-know-slow-jerk-from-whitestkidsuknow_fan"]Whitest Kids U' Know - Slow Jerk from WhitestKidsUKnow_Fan[/ame]

[RobinFinderson]

WARNING: Video clip is a bit low-brow

LOL! Very funny.