It's time to end the tradition of women taking their husbands' names

[wuapinmon]

That's a harsh thing to say. You have misjudged me unfairly. I'm only saying that it is unlikely that I'd have asked any such person to marry me. If she were my fiancé, she'd have already passed the test with flying colors.

[YOUTUBE]TM-G0bkl8MQ[/YOUTUBE]

[Portland Ute]

You must not have loved your fiancee very much, then.

A thorn in my side? Yes. But a dealbreaker?

The converse could also be true. She loved her name more than she loved him?

[SeattleUte]

Your constant drumming on the church is not only old and boring as hell but rather ineffective. It is time for you to find a new schtick.

I was merely highlighting the inconsistency in your position. I'm as entitled as your church to give women direction and advice.

[wally]

I was merely highlighting the inconsistency in your position. I'm as entitled as your church to give women direction and advice.

I agree. Behind every great feminist woman is a great feminist man empowering her and telling her what to do next.

[falafel]

They have my name.

At what point are you going to sit them down and re-open the issue of what name to take? Shouldn't they decide whose name they have?

[Pheidippides]

My wife gave up her last name that had to be spelled 4 or 5 times before anyone got it -- for my super-cool name. That's a good reason,right?

I have toyed with the idea of taking my wife's name for this reason. Also, I would then share a name with a semi well known athlete.

[SeattleUte]

I have toyed with the idea of taking my wife's name for this reason. Also, I would then share a name with a semi well known athlete.

True, conversely, if people feel strongly about spouses having the same names as one another and as their children, let's put it all on the table. Why not go the other way? I see no reason why not if that's your pramount concern. Personally, it's not mine. I'm happy with my name and have experienced no problem with disparate names in families.

[SeattleUte]

At what point are you going to sit them down and re-open the issue of what name to take? Shouldn't they decide whose name they have?

Yes. I'm not worried about this.

[TripletDaddy]

True, conversely, if people feel strongly about spouses having the same names as one another and as their children, let's put it all on the table. Why not go the other way? I see no reason why not if that's your pramount concern. Personally, it's not mine. I'm happy with my name and have experienced no problem with disparate names in families.

My mom and dad divorced when I was young and mom remarried my step-father. My older brother, older sister and I kept my dad's last name. My mom kept her maiden name. And my two younger sisters used my step-father's last name.

Our mailbox had 3 last names on it. I always thought that looked somewhat odd.

[SeattleUte]

My mom and dad divorced when I was young and mom remarried my step-father. My older brother, older sister and I kept my dad's last name. My mom kept her maiden name. And my two younger sisters used my step-father's last name.

Our mailbox had 3 last names on it. I always thought that looked somewhat odd.

Great story.

So you agree with statman that this type of situation imperils our very civilization?

[woot]

She could always have a different professional name and private name. Convenient for when students try to track you down at home...

That's an option we would probably consider. It worked well for a news anchor I knew in college.

And yes, I am aware that she could still put the publications on her CV, they'd still work toward tenure, etc., but her visibility would be reduced enough to make it a significant consideration.

[TripletDaddy]

Great story.

So you agree with statman that this type of situation imperils our very civilization?

Unfortunately, I'm not current on statman's opinion in this arena.

Please allow me to first familiarize myself with his position.

www.google.com

[Katy Lied]

The name thing has never bothered me. Use any version of your name at any time for any purpose.

SU, I'm disappointed that you have branded your children with your tribal name. I know you have daughters; you are in essence telling your children (especially your daughters) that they have no identity unless it is the identity that you give them, emphasizing your paternal power and your patronymic branding. It teaches your children that when a mother and father equally share the burden of parenthood, the name they carry is that of the Father's tribal group. Do you make them call you "Earthly Father?"

[Green Monstah]

I work with a woman who lives in my neighborhood. She is very active in community organizations and groups. At work, she goes by her maiden name, but otherwise she goes by her husband's name. I assume she officially took her husband's name, since when she ran for school board, that was the name she used, but she evidently feels there is still some brand equity in her maiden name.

You live in Kelly Ripa's neighborhood????

[TheBYUGuy]

The name thing has never bothered me. Use any version of your name at any time for any purpose.

SU, I'm disappointed that you have branded your children with your tribal name. I know you have daughters; you are in essence telling your children (especially your daughters) that they have no identity unless it is the identity that you give them, emphasizing your paternal power and your patronymic branding. It teaches your children that when a mother and father equally share the burden of parenthood, the name they carry is that of the Father's tribal group. Do you make them call you "Earthly Father?"

Exactly. Doing this to your kids is is basically the equivalent of taking a white parrot, leashing it to your bike by a collar around its neck, and letting it flap its wings in the wind, when they would rather be flying free in the jungle.