It's time to end the tradition of women taking their husbands' names

[SeattleUte]

Who gives a crap? People can choose for themselves.

I think it would make things run a little more smoothly, and help some women's self-image. Just my opinion.

[myboynoah]

I hope my daughters will do that with which they are most comfortable. We're fairly traditional, so I suspect they will choose to take their husband's names. We've never talked about it. If they every asked my opinion, I'd just tell them to do what they think is best.

[New Mexican Disaster]

I think it would make things run a little more smoothly, and help some women's self-image. Just my opinion.

I was a bit harsh and terse in my response. I agree with you that it is an archaic practice. However, I think that the women most likely to be on board with that trend are those least likely to have a problem with self image.

[DU's cUTEy]

I think it would make things run a little more smoothly, and help some women's self-image. Just my opinion.

So, even though women have the choice to keep their name or take on their husband's name we should start a campaign to promote your opinion of what's best for all women? I'm so glad we have such intelligent and powerful men deciding what's good for our self-image. I will just go back to reading my Glamour mag now that I know my self-image is safe.

[YOhio]

I hope my daughters will do that with which they are most comfortable. We're fairly traditional, so I suspect they will choose to take their husband's names. We've never talked about it. If they every asked my opinion, I'd just tell them to do what they think is best.

What's your problem, man? The intent of the thread originator was to call for an end to this tradition, not allow women to make their own choices regarding the matter.

[myboynoah]

What's your problem, man? The intent of the thread originator was to call for an end to this tradition, not allow women to make their own choices regarding the matter.

I'm one of those liberal mullahs.

[wuapinmon]

So, even though women have the choice to keep their name or take on their husband's name we should start a campaign to promote your opinion of what's best for all women? I'm so glad we have such intelligent and powerful men deciding what's good for our self-image. I will just go back to reading my Glamour mag now that I know my self-image is safe.

So, in case you weren't kidding, like a typical American feminist, you favor collective identity over individual identity? You speak for women rather than for DU's cutey? I think some women would be happy that a man recognizes the imbalance and speaks out against it, rather than ridiculing his good-natured attempt to help. Give me Kristeva, Irigaray, and Moi any day over the inanity that leads women to this level of antagonism against their allies.

Passive-aggressiveness is weakness.

[wally]

The Internet, social networking, etc. demand that women keep the names they were born with, if that was not imperative before. I'm not a fan of women taking their husbands' names. I don't like the symbolism, anything about it. It's time for this atavistic tradition to go. It's all bad.

Nor am I particularly a fan of hyphenated names. Let the kids take whatever name by agreement. But I don't see any imperative to change the tradition in that regard.

Yes, excellent point. Excellent. In fact I think that it is demeaning to force children to take either parents last name.

I talked with my 6 year old about his name. I apologized for naming him without his permission.

Tomorrow we will be going to the county building to reassign him the name of his own choosing: Shredder Skullcrusher

[clackamascoug]

What about team unity? A cougar marries a ute, and kids become coug-utes. Nobody in that equation has built team spirit, and identification for the group cause. In the end, no one cares about the cougars, or the utes. Personally I've found a lot of comfort in having the same name as my father, and his father, and his father, and his father.... If my maternal grandfather was pushing hyphenation, that would have changed my self identification.

[RobinFinderson]

I met Faith in the feminist club at BYU, so when it came time to make marriage plans, I expected that she wouldn't take my last name, and that would be no big deal. So it surprised me when she did take my name. I asked her why. She said that she had her reasons. I still give her some mild ribbing over this from time to time.

I agree with SU that naming conventions should change.

[Drunk Tank]

I know of someone who hyphenated his last name with his wife's maiden name.

My wife feels (although she took my last name) that when woman takes her husbands name, her family, their past etc...cease to exist and is forgotten about. In a way, I think she is correct, or at least I am guilty of this. She know much more about my family and their past than I would ever care to know about her family and their past. Now she tells me she wants to hyphenate her name and says that I was against her hyphenating it way back when..I dont remember her ever saying she wanted to hyphenate it. Looks like I am in the dog house yet again. Sheesh, I was just trying to make light conversation with her about this topic and she totally turned it on me. Thanks SU!

[Guest]

My favorite part of this thread:

The Internet, social networking, etc. demand that women keep the names they were born with

lol..."Keep your name! For Facebook's sake, keep your name!"

[SeattleUte]

My favorite part of this thread:

lol..."Keep your name! For Facebook's sake, keep your name!"

Actually, the Internet is what has brought the disparity to amplified light. If you think the Internet is trivial, go ask a Chinese or Iranian and think again. Half of people marry at least twice. Every time a woman changes her name she cuts herself off from all but her most intimate prior acquaintances. A professional woman can't afford to do it.

[Tim]

um, that's already happening. Many young, educated women keep their names and don't take their husbands. Usually those who are religious conservatives carry on the tradition. I have friends who, when they married, combined their last names to make one surname. They legally changed their name to that and now their child has that surname too.

As for me and my house, I'll encourage my daughters to keep their own name.

My wife chose to keep her own last name. When she was married the first time she took his name, then changed it back after their divorce. She told me early on in our relationship that she liked her last name and didn't have any desire to change it. Luckily I don't care one bit what last name she uses. She's happy with her last name, and she accepts that people will still call us Mr. and Mrs. (or Bro. and Sis.) [my last name], and The [my last name] Family. She's okay with that, and I'm okay with her last name being whatever she wants it to be.

[Katy Lied]

She said that she had her reasons.

'Cause "Faith Finderson" makes a divine monogram on her purse and shirts.

She's happy with her last name, and she accepts that people will still call us Mr. and Mrs. (or Bro. and Sis.) [my last name], and The [my last name] Family. She's okay with that, and I'm okay with her last name being whatever she wants it to be.

I use either/or, depending upon which one is most advantageous. I answer to either. No one cares which I use. I don't care which one I use. No one gets mad when they hear someone else call me by the name they don't use. My husband doesn't care either, as long as I'm "Sister Hisname" at church and on my church records.