I learned in church today

[thesaint258]

Nobody has ever accused me of being good at math, but if the goal is to go from 300 to 330 in sacrament you need more than 23 new people.

Do they count the babies as attending sacrament meeting? Maybe they're also telling people to have more kids.

[Portland Ute]

I wish I could post a video right now of th Relief Society president. She is addressing our fifth Sunday combined adult meeting.

Her topic: Modest dress...specifically the dangers of leggings.


She claims to have been given this assignment from the stake presidency.

She is literally pointing and wagging her index finger at those of us in attendance.

Her voice is raised and trembling.

I've talked about how much this woman overreaches and is intrusive in her calling.

I just about laughed out loud when this finger pointing hunched over bitter woman just closed with: ” Satan wants us to wear those immodest clothes because sexual thoughts and feelings keep us from drawing near to the lord....”

WTF do I come anymore?

The stake presidency's big concern is leggings and tight fitting shirts and clothing???? And they choose this person to delivery this message?

Geh.....

She ended with amen, I with ” whatever”.

My wife wore "leggins" and a long shirt to a movie and dinner with me tonight.

She is now filling out her page long visiting teaching report/essay for both of the sisters she visits.

One of the sisters is the relief society president in question.

When she asked if it was really necessary to fill out the page long report about her visit with the RS president and return that report TO the same RS president, she was told to go ahead and file that TPS...err.... page long visiting teaching report.

The form is actually called a "Record of Visiting Teaching Ministry".

One of the questions is "How have you benefitted from being a friend to her?"

So, my wife gets to spend time filling out a "Record of Visiting Teaching Ministry" about her visit with the RS president, tell the RS prez how she (my wife) has benefitted from being a friend to the RS president and turn that form in to her. GENIUS!

A highlighted quote at the bottom of reads:

Remember that the beauty of visiting teaching is seeing lives changed, tears wiped away, testimonies grow, people loved, families strengthened, people cheered, the hungry fed, the sick visited, and those who are mourning comforted.

Oh...and the "leggins" were marvelous....

[wuapinmon]

My wife wore "leggins" and a long shirt to a movie and dinner with me tonight.

She is now filling out her page long visiting teaching report/essay for both of the sisters she visits.

One of the sisters is the relief society president in question.

When she asked if it was really necessary to fill out the page long report about her visit with the RS president and return that report TO the same RS president, she was told to go ahead and file that TPS...err.... page long visiting teaching report.

The form is actually called a "Record of Visiting Teaching Ministry".

One of the questions is "How have you benefitted from being a friend to her?"

So, my wife gets to spend time filling out a "Record of Visiting Teaching Ministry" about her visit with the RS president, tell the RS prez how she (my wife) has benefitted from being a friend to the RS president and turn that form in to her. GENIUS!

A highlighted quote at the bottom of reads:



Oh...and the "leggins" were marvelous....

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

One of the questions is "How have you benefitted from being a friend to her?"

For a response your wife should write, "If they were to throw a party and invite everyone they know, they would see the biggest gift would be from me.".

[TripletDaddy]

For those that have taught Primerica, how do you deal with the apparent monotony of the lesson manual?

3 of the first 4 lessons:

Happiness Comes From Choosing the Right
I Can Choose the Right
I Choose to Follow Jesus Christ

Today's lesson:

I Can Make Right Choices

I can appreciate a theme but we are only one month into the year and it seems like this topic has been beaten to death.

Do you ever wander of the reservation and teach something other than the lesson in the manual?

[DU Ute]

Ward WoW fanatic bearing testimony on the miracles of ginger. Claims, among other things, that eating enough ginger will cure and prevent arthritis. Docs, is this true?

[RC Vikings]

that eating enough ginger will cure and prevent arthritis. Docs, is this true?

I still prefer MaryAnn.

[DU Ute]

I still prefer MaryAnn.

I wonder if this guy prefers Mary Jane.

[NorthwestUteFan]

I always feel the spirit and my eyes well up with tears when I hear the song "Like a Prayer", and I am not even a fan of Madonna's music. It just leaves me feeling overcome with emotion.

[Moliere]

You are sinning if you don't follow local leaders

I raised my hand to comment but the teacher moved on. I was going to counter the point by saying that it's not always that black and white and then maybe bring up MMM if I was shot down. Probably a good thin they moved on.

[wuapinmon]

The Voice of the Lord came to Laman and Lemuel, and they heard despite theirs sins. God speaks to us today, and we're too prideful to hear him. I noted that they heard the actual voice of the Lord, not the Holy Ghost, but the teacher dismissed the idea and said that people today are too prideful.

[cowboy]

I learned that my wife should be in movies because she has classic beauty that doesn't seem to fade, per the lady sitting behind us in sacrament meeting. I wanted to proceed up to the podium and bear a Thanktimony expressing gratitude for a mild winter and my smokin' hot wife, but I was blocked from leaving the pew. Maybe next month.

[Surfah]

We had a wonderful testimony by an older member of our ward today. He's in his 70's and was baptized about 25 years ago. It's also worth noting he is black. He shared his testimony and expressed gratitude for the branch president who took him under his wing after he was baptized and helped him grow in the gospel. Yesterday he helped bury this branch president. He then went on to express gratitude to our former bishop who is his best friend now. In describing his friendship and fondness he said that he hopes he goes before his dear friend because he cannot go through the loss he felt yesterday again. It was really touching.

[myboynoah]

The Voice of the Lord came to Laman and Lemuel, and they heard despite theirs sins. God speaks to us today, and we're too prideful to hear him. I noted that they heard the actual voice of the Lord, not the Holy Ghost, but the teacher dismissed the idea and said that people today are too prideful.

lol, wap proving his point.

Repent, wap, repent!

[Green Monstah]

I wonder if this guy prefers Mary Jane.

A most excellent herbal remedy.