I learned in church today

[RC Vikings]

When someone in church brings up Hollands talk on "Sanctifying Yourself" I wonder if he was a Simple Minds fan and the talk was a big shout out to Jim Kerr.

[myboynoah]

I play a similar game that drives Mrs. D crazy. I call it "last clap". It's great to play in settings where "reverent" clapping is allowed (I.e a piano concert, symphony, music recital, choir performance, dinner banquet, etc.-- obviously doesn't work real well at sporting events and such). Much like your game, the goal is to be the last person clapping. The clapping must be continuous, however; singular, isolated claps don't count. The clapping must also be reasonably audible-golf clapping is cheating. Each event presents the opportunity for several rounds, and by the end of the event you will almost certainly have someone openly competing with you.

I love that game. Play it all the time, especially at piano recitals.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

I play a similar game that drives Mrs. D crazy. I call it "last clap". It's great to play in settings where "reverent" clapping is allowed (I.e a piano concert, symphony, music recital, choir performance, dinner banquet, etc.-- obviously doesn't work real well at sporting events and such). Much like your game, the goal is to be the last person clapping. The clapping must be continuous, however; singular, isolated claps don't count. The clapping must also be reasonably audible-golf clapping is cheating. Each event presents the opportunity for several rounds, and by the end of the event you will almost certainly have someone openly competing with you.

I just go for volume. I've got a hell of a clap. I love having a good clap that leaves your hands stinking and ears ringing.

[Harry Tic]

I play a similar game that drives Mrs. D crazy. I call it "last clap". It's great to play in settings where "reverent" clapping is allowed (I.e a piano concert, symphony, music recital, choir performance, dinner banquet, etc.-- obviously doesn't work real well at sporting events and such). Much like your game, the goal is to be the last person clapping. The clapping must be continuous, however; singular, isolated claps don't count. The clapping must also be reasonably audible-golf clapping is cheating. Each event presents the opportunity for several rounds, and by the end of the event you will almost certainly have someone openly competing with you.

This is mere child's play. If you really want to be a man, you have to be the first one to clap. This shows that you know the difference between the end of the movement and the end of the work and that you aren't tripped up by a caesura or pianissimo section. Now, that's laying your manhood on the line.

My clapping game is to get some weird polyrhythms going. While everybody else is doing this:



I'm doing this:







And so on.

So, if you're ever at a place and some guy just seems totally off and incapable of applauding properly, look around because it's probably me and I'm doing some cool stuff with complex time signatures.

BTW: Mrs. Harry Tic accuses me of sarcastic clapping. I told her that there's no such thing but I see how it could be taken that way. But I really see it as the highest tribute that I can give a performer, by effectively becoming a performer myself.

[wuapinmon]

BTW: Mrs. Harry Tic accuses me of sarcastic clapping. I told her that there's no such thing but I see how it could be taken that way.

While I am aware that it is quite easy to challenge my slight authority. I hope, however, that I shall not be prohibited from mentioning a few counter examples to your assertion, from the remote and the near past, that there is no such thing as sarcastic clapping. I believe that any number of highly visible works to the contrary of your assertion can be easily enumerated. Having examined with care the internet, I find that it contains the following items that contradict you:

a) The 1990 skit from SNL called "The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southampton." Aside from its eponymous name, the same characters appeared twice (with variants) in other skits with similar themes.

b) A short scene in the diner in Groundhog Day when the two local blokes applaud when the waitress drops some dishes

c) A line from the song "Schadenfreude" in Avenue Q, shows that your premise is largely false. The lyric goes, "You ever clap when a waitress slips and drops a tray of glasses?" "Uh-huh." "And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?"

d) Perry Cox on Scrubs routinely used the sarcastic clap to mock his interns/residents. One patient even asked him once, "Are you really using that tired old 1980's sarcastic clap on me?" Not trying to wholly place the past in the present, I will admit that there is a plebian pleasure to using anachronisms because they enthrall us with the elementary notions that all epochs are the same or are different. And, then again, I'm unsure if you're contending that there is no longer such a thing, which is more difficult to prove or disprove.

e) Friends once featured the following inane bit of dialogue:
Joey: (to Ross and Chandler) I need advice from you guys on how to repel women-
Ross: Hey, I don't repel women! I've been married three times!
(cue Chandler's sarcastic clapping)

f)

g) On the pitch Beckham, Rooney, et al, can often be seen applauding profusely when a referee cites them with a yellow or red card. Common sense tells us that they are not congratulating the arbitro that he's figured them out a la Father Brown in Umbro and Under Armor.

h) Consider the role of Karen, wife of Plankton, in the cosmology of Spongebob Squarepants. She is a computer program whose entire role in the show is to browbeat/henpeck/sarcastic clap her way into motivating her husband into attempting a nefarious plot designed to capture the trade secrets of the lucre-loving crustacean across the way. I could write a monograph on certain connections and affinities I see between the thought of Plankton, Bergson, Swiper the Fox, and Wile E. Coyote, as they each struggle against illusion trying to rediscover the true differences in kind or articulations of the real of the Krabby Patty, the unforseeable novelty, Dora's backpack, and fricasseed roadrunner.

i)Claire demonstrates unforeseeable novelty by increasing the seductiveness of her labia oris with tinted dessicated petrochemical unguents while using her mammary glands to stabilize the applicator in the Breakfast Club. Upon witnessing this putative talent, Bender begins clapping slowly. It is given to understand that he is not actually applauding her teat feat, but rather is mocking her because of his own insecurities caused by his father's poor Christmas gift giving abilities coupled with the inability to recognize a proper ash receptacle.

j) At the end of Primal Fear, just as Richard Gere realizes the diabolical nature of his now exonerated former client, Ed Norton, creepily begins applauding Gere for his brilliant use of lax morals and ethics in pursuit of victory and personal glory in the courtroom, blind to the fact that his client was pathologically lying to him about his supposed illness. The claps resound in the concrete hallways of the prison, causing those on screen and off to wince as each clap thunders through our minds. Norton declared to Gere that censure and praise are sentimental operations which have nothing to do with professional attorney criticism.

k) Every film ever written, directed, or produced by Quentin Tarantino. While this might sound like an invective against Tarantino, that would be the exact opposite of my true opinion of Tarantino; he understands it as such; our old friendship is not endangered.

l) In 1976, Michael Ritchie directed The Bad News Bears. The crowds during the games can be seen clapping profusely towards the end of the film, when the Bears nut up and learn to play together, becoming the Gospel Bears. The applause can be interpreted as supportive at that moment, infused with sincerity and innocence native and latent to mid-1970's suburban America. The 2005 Richard Linklater version contains the same scenes of audiences clapping. Though at first blush to the untrained eye they might appear identical, this remake is more ambiguous about the reason behind the clapping. It appears the exact same, really, but there is a richness in ambiguity that can't be explained away easily. It is a revelation to watch the 2005 film and the 1976 film one after the other. The 2005 film's applauding, while functionally the same, is richer and more nuanced, thereby adding to its ambiguity of purpose, its richness, and perhaps even subversiveness.

m) Stanley Kubrick died before he could finish AI. Spielberg took over for him, trying in vain to reconstruct the thoughts amid the thousands of drafts and tenaciously revised manuscripts. There is nothing new in these nihilistic verifications; what is singular is the determination Spielberg derived from them. He decided to anticipate the vanity awaiting all man's efforts; he set himself to an undertaking which was exceedingly complex and, from the very beginning, futile. He dedicated his scruples and his sleepless nights to creating an already extant screenplay in an alien futuristic world. He multiplied draft upon draft, and he did not let anyone examine these drafts and took care they should not survive the film's debut. He should've asked for help.

n) On that most narcissistic, demeaning, crass, and now-dated show Seinfeld, Jason Alexander's obnoxious character, George Constanza, often clapped, quickly, slowly, or even golfily, to demonstrate his omnipresent sarcasm via non-verbal means. I have reflected that it is permissible to see in Curb Your Enthusiasm a kind of palimpsest, through which the traces--tenuous but not indecipherable--of Larry David's "previous" attempts at humor should be translucently visible. Unfortunately, only a second Jerry Seinfeld, inverting the other's work, would be able to exhume and revive those lost bowls of soup.

o) What is the sound of one Kurt Cobain clapping? There is no intellectual exercise which is not, in the final analysis, useless, even if you achieve Nirvana in the process. My regards to Uma Thurman's father's lectures on Buddhism and most Mormon Republicans.

To attribute the Passion of the Christ to Mel Gibson or to Willem Defoe, is this not a sufficient renovation of its tenuous spiritual indications?

[Harry Tic]

While I am aware that it is quite easy to challenge my slight authority. I hope, however, that I shall not be prohibited from mentioning a few counter examples to your assertion, from the remote and the near past, that there is no such thing as sarcastic clapping. I believe that any number of highly visible works to the contrary of your assertion can be easily enumerated. Having examined with care the internet, I find that it contains the following items that contradict you:

a) The 1990 skit from SNL called "The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southampton." Aside from its eponymous name, the same characters appeared twice (with variants) in other skits with similar themes.

b) A short scene in the diner in Groundhog Day when the two local blokes applaud when the waitress drops some dishes

c) A line from the song "Schadenfreude" in Avenue Q, shows that your premise is largely false. The lyric goes, "You ever clap when a waitress slips and drops a tray of glasses?" "Uh-huh." "And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?"

d) Perry Cox on Scrubs routinely used the sarcastic clap to mock his interns/residents. One patient even asked him once, "Are you really using that tired old 1980's sarcastic clap on me?" Not trying to wholly place the past in the present, I will admit that there is a plebian pleasure to using anachronisms because they enthrall us with the elementary notions that all epochs are the same or are different. And, then again, I'm unsure if you're contending that there is no longer such a thing, which is more difficult to prove or disprove.

e) Friends once featured the following inane bit of dialogue:
Joey: (to Ross and Chandler) I need advice from you guys on how to repel women-
Ross: Hey, I don't repel women! I've been married three times!
(cue Chandler's sarcastic clapping)

f)

g) On the pitch Beckham, Rooney, et al, can often be seen applauding profusely when a referee cites them with a yellow or red card. Common sense tells us that they are not congratulating the arbitro that he's figured them out a la Father Brown in Umbro and Under Armor.

h) Consider the role of Karen, wife of Plankton, in the cosmology of Spongebob Squarepants. She is a computer program whose entire role in the show is to browbeat/henpeck/sarcastic clap her way into motivating her husband into attempting a nefarious plot designed to capture the trade secrets of the lucre-loving crustacean across the way. I could write a monograph on certain connections and affinities I see between the thought of Plankton, Bergson, Swiper the Fox, and Wile E. Coyote, as they each struggle against illusion trying to rediscover the true differences in kind or articulations of the real of the Krabby Patty, the unforseeable novelty, Dora's backpack, and fricasseed roadrunner.

i)Claire demonstrates unforeseeable novelty by increasing the seductiveness of her labia oris with tinted dessicated petrochemical unguents while using her mammary glands to stabilize the applicator in the Breakfast Club. Upon witnessing this putative talent, Bender begins clapping slowly. It is given to understand that he is not actually applauding her teat feat, but rather is mocking her because of his own insecurities caused by his father's poor Christmas gift giving abilities coupled with the inability to recognize a proper ash receptacle.

j) At the end of Primal Fear, just as Richard Gere realizes the diabolical nature of his now exonerated former client, Ed Norton, creepily begins applauding Gere for his brilliant use of lax morals and ethics in pursuit of victory and personal glory in the courtroom, blind to the fact that his client was pathologically lying to him about his supposed illness. The claps resound in the concrete hallways of the prison, causing those on screen and off to wince as each clap thunders through our minds. Norton declared to Gere that censure and praise are sentimental operations which have nothing to do with professional attorney criticism.

k) Every film ever written, directed, or produced by Quentin Tarantino. While this might sound like an invective against Tarantino, that would be the exact opposite of my true opinion of Tarantino; he understands it as such; our old friendship is not endangered.

l) In 1976, Michael Ritchie directed The Bad News Bears. The crowds during the games can be seen clapping profusely towards the end of the film, when the Bears nut up and learn to play together, becoming the Gospel Bears. The applause can be interpreted as supportive at that moment, infused with sincerity and innocence native and latent to mid-1970's suburban America. The 2005 Richard Linklater version contains the same scenes of audiences clapping. Though at first blush to the untrained eye they might appear identical, this remake is more ambiguous about the reason behind the clapping. It appears the exact same, really, but there is a richness in ambiguity that can't be explained away easily. It is a revelation to watch the 2005 film and the 1976 film one after the other. The 2005 film's applauding, while functionally the same, is richer and more nuanced, thereby adding to its ambiguity of purpose, its richness, and perhaps even subversiveness.

m) Stanley Kubrick died before he could finish AI. Spielberg took over for him, trying in vain to reconstruct the thoughts amid the thousands of drafts and tenaciously revised manuscripts. There is nothing new in these nihilistic verifications; what is singular is the determination Spielberg derived from them. He decided to anticipate the vanity awaiting all man's efforts; he set himself to an undertaking which was exceedingly complex and, from the very beginning, futile. He dedicated his scruples and his sleepless nights to creating an already extant screenplay in an alien futuristic world. He multiplied draft upon draft, and he did not let anyone examine these drafts and took care they should not survive the film's debut. He should've asked for help.

n) On that most narcissistic, demeaning, crass, and now-dated show Seinfeld, Jason Alexander's obnoxious character, George Constanza, often clapped, quickly, slowly, or even golfily, to demonstrate his omnipresent sarcasm via non-verbal means. I have reflected that it is permissible to see in Curb Your Enthusiasm a kind of palimpsest, through which the traces--tenuous but not indecipherable--of Larry David's "previous" attempts at humor should be translucently visible. Unfortunately, only a second Jerry Seinfeld, inverting the other's work, would be able to exhume and revive those lost bowls of soup.

o) What is the sound of one Kurt Cobain clapping? There is no intellectual exercise which is not, in the final analysis, useless, even if you achieve Nirvana in the process. My regards to Uma Thurman's father's lectures on Buddhism and most Mormon Republicans.

To attribute the Passion of the Christ to Mel Gibson or to Willem Defoe, is this not a sufficient renovation of its tenuous spiritual indications?

(Con brio)

[Harry Tic]

Feels good to have tenure, doesn't it Wuap?

[wuapinmon]

Feels good to have tenure, doesn't it Wuap?

Spoiler for NSFBYU:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07wuZ3EWMAA

[Jeff Lebowski]

Feels good to have tenure, doesn't it Wuap?

lol. I was thinking the same thing.

[Clark Addison]

i once sustained with the "so-so" hand gesture (not sure what it is called but it is made with the hand extended outward, palm flat, fingers spread and rotating on the axis of the wrist). People behind me laughed.

I'm going to steal this one.

[arizonaute]

I've got a hell of a clap.

humblebrag : )

[Parrot Head]

We had Stake Conference today, and I like to play a game where, after the intermediate hymn, I am the last person to sit down. This can be very tricky, as there are often clueless children, mothers leaning over several seats to berate clueless children, old people who have a hard time getting back down, and the like. Through a good bit of perseverance and pretending to look around for something, I was successful today, even though it meant staying standing until the 1st counselor in the Stake Presidency was already speaking.

"Challenge extended!" Sunday, Sept. 8, is going to be an epic sacrament meeting in the _______ ward of the Charlotte_______ Stake of Zion -- CUFfers will not want to miss this one!

[Sullyute]

"Challenge extended!" Sunday, Sept. 8, is going to be an epic sacrament meeting in the _______ ward of the Charlotte_______ Stake of Zion -- CUFfers will not want to miss this one!

Where's Flystripper?! We need odds on this game!

[San Juan Sun]

Open mic Sunday (literally MC-style, the podium mic isn't working). First testimony is from a guy who was prompted to tell his wife to have a natural child birth. He's also really glad that their baby is doing fine after a really difficult labor.

Edit: he closed by bearing his testimony that Gordon B. Hinckley is a true prophet today.

[San Juan Sun]

Open mic Sunday (literally MC-style, the podium mic isn't working). First testimony is from a guy who was prompted to tell his wife to have a natural child birth. He's also really glad that their baby is doing fine after a really difficult labor.

Edit: he closed by bearing his testimony that Gordon B. Hinckley is a true prophet today.

Wife just bore testimony. Hard to tell doctors that they want to have more high risk pregnancies because docs just dont uave the spirit.