How do you keep from getting a calling without

[cowboy]

just flat declining. My bishop keeps hinting that I'm going to take the place of a guy who is moving, and I'm really not the man for the job. I don't want to tell him no, but he's got the wrong fella. I just moved into the ward two weeks ago (it's the ward I grew up in, and everyone there knows me,) and I feel like they are just picking on me because I'm fresh meat.

[smokymountainrain]

just flat declining. My bishop keeps hinting that I'm going to take the place of a guy who is moving, and I'm really not the man for the job. I don't want to tell him no, but he's got the wrong fella. I just moved into the ward two weeks ago (it's the ward I grew up in, and everyone there knows me,) and I feel like they are just picking on me because I'm fresh meat.

Yeah, I wouldn't make a good scoutmaster either.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

You could tell him you are struggling with a porn addiction.

[cowboy]

You could tell him you are struggling with a porn addiction.

Didn't work. I already told him about my Barley Legal subscription, and he STILL thinks I would be a good SS teacher for the 15-16 year olds.

[il Padrino Ute]

You already know the answer, as you mentioned you don't want to do that.

Or, you could just quit going to church. Inactivity is a great way to avoid any calling.

[marsupial]

Didn't work. I already told him about my Barley Legal subscription, and he STILL thinks I would be a good SS teacher for the 15-16 year olds.

What? That's a great calling. You should consider yourself lucky.

[cowboy]

What? That's a great calling. You should consider yourself lucky.

If only that was really the calling. This one is ten times worse.

[landpoke]

If only that was really the calling. This one is ten times worse.

Preg testing the church's herd?

(Oh course I just assume they have a herd what with the preparedness and the food storage and and the end of the world and whatnot.)

[il Padrino Ute]

Preg testing the church's herd?

(Oh course I just assume they have a herd what with the preparedness and the food storage and and the end of the world and whatnot.)

I am laughing out loud right now. None of this LOL stuff, but the real thing.

[SoonerCoug]

SoonerCoug's 5 keys to not receiving a meaningful calling while keeping your temple recommend:

1) Never attend a Church activity
2) Don't do home teaching
3) Pay tithing in lump sum at end of year and don't attend tithing settlement. Have wife hand the envelope to the bishop.
4) Never talk to anyone at Church except for people who you're certain have no influence over the bishopric and would never be called to a bishopric.
5) Never ever confess any masturbatory activities

If no one knows anything about you, they're not going to give you a busy, burdensome calling like scoutmaster. The key is staying invisible.

[TripletDaddy]

SoonerCoug's 5 keys to not receiving a meaningful calling while keeping your temple recommend:

1) Never attend a Church activity
2) Don't do home teaching
3) Pay tithing in lump sum at end of year and don't attend tithing settlement. Have wife hand the envelope to the bishop.
4) Never talk to anyone at Church except for people who you're certain have no influence over the bishopric and would never be called to a bishopric.
5) Never ever confess any masturbatory activities

If no one knows anything about you, they're not going to give you a busy, burdensome calling like scoutmaster. The key is staying invisible.

you may want to reconsider #5 if your goal is to stay calling-free.

[SoonerCoug]

you may want to reconsider #5 if your goal is to stay calling-free.

Wrong. If you confess, then they'll get you on the path to rehabilitation, which means you'll have to talk to them. Then they'll get to know you (i.e. you will no longer be invisible). Eventually, you'll want to start lying about your masturbatory activity to get them off your back, at which point they'll think you're rehabilitated. By then they'll know you well enough to feel comfortable giving you a calling.

[RobinFinderson]

Well you just aren't going to jerk your way off to 'prophet.' Maybe EQP, and maybe even Bishopric, if the priesthoods is thin in the area, but nothing above that.

[cowboy]

Preg testing the church's herd?

(Oh course I just assume they have a herd what with the preparedness and the food storage and and the end of the world and whatnot.)

The Church runs over 50,000 head on ranches all over the world - that might take a while...trying to get the damn things to pee on that little stick is nearly impossible.

[landpoke]

The Church runs over 50,000 head on ranches all over the world - that might take a while...trying to get the damn things to pee on that little stick is nearly impossible.

Maybe someone's trying to teach you the virtue of patience.