Meddlesome Stake Presidency...

[The_Tick]

I am upset, and I need to know if I am justified or not... you decide!

Got a call from a High Councilor tonight regarding our oldest daughter. They have asked for an interview with her next Wednesday. After that they would like to interview one of her parents.

They are wanting to meet with each graduating YW and YM to find out the following:

1. Are you graduating?
2. What are your plans after graduating?
3. Are you going to college?
4. If so, what plans/preparations are in place?
5. What are your plans after college?

I find this intrusive and a little overboard. I am really pissed off and I don't know if I should be or not.

My wife is really pissed. Feels like the Stake is overstepping their role and intruding on a Parents roll.

What say you?

I feel like calling the High Councilor back and letting him know that we wont be coming to the interview next week, and we wont be rescheduling. And I want to tell him that I think they are out of line. Is that wrong?

[Tick's wife]

no it's not wrong....it's non of their fm business.

[Fiyero]

It makes me wonder why they don't just hold a fireside for graduates. Why do they want one-on-one time with each person, to make sure you and Sister Tick have properly indoctrinated her, Julie Beck style? Yes very intrusive.

[FMCoug]

This is always a tough call because while it may be intrusive to a family like yours, there are kids out there who are absolutely rudderless at home and need leaders to make sure they are headed in the right direction. Although one woudl think local leaders (Bishops, YM/YW leaders, etc.) would be better equipped.

I imagine there are statistics indicating that we lose a lot of kids at that age ... this is likely your SP's attempt at trying to identify them. For things like this, we can look at it one of two ways:

1. The SP is intruding in our business, checking up on us, wants to make sure we are doing the righ thing, etc. A negative message IMO.

2. The SP is concerned about the welfare of the kids in the stake and wants to chat about their plans.

I think in most cases #2 is the case.

[il Padrino Ute]

I'd be upset too.

You really should call the High Councilor and tell him that you've changed your mind about meeting with the Stake Presidency because your daughter's decisions about life are none of their damn business. Let them know that if they don't like it, they can call Salt Lake and tell them that a member family won't talk to them about business that is not theirs.

[The Fourth Nephite]

Not justified.

So they care about your daughter and her life. If anything, I think that's nice.

[il Padrino Ute]

This is always a tough call because while it may be intrusive to a family like yours, there are kids out there who are absolutely rudderless at home and need leaders to make sure they are headed in the right direction. Although one woudl think local leaders (Bishops, YM/YW leaders, etc.) would be better equipped.

I imagine there are statistics indicating that we lose a lot of kids at that age ... this is likely your SP's attempt at trying to identify them. For things like this, we can look at it one of two ways:

1. The SP is intruding in our business, checking up on us, wants to make sure we are doing the righ thing, etc. A negative message IMO.

2. The SP is concerned about the welfare of the kids in the stake and wants to chat about their plans.

I think in most cases #2 is the case.

You make some good points; however, it would still be good to tell the SP that it's not their concern, especially because they should know that the daughter comes from a good, supportive family. If the Presidency is really trying to help out, they'd know that Tick's family isn't the one that is rudderless and not ask to meet.

[Shaka]

This is a bit intrusive but I agree with FM.

Also do they do o something special for high school grads in your stake or ward? I ask because I have seen an instance where a student didn't graduate from high school with his class (it was a temporary thing as he had to finish making up a class). The ward didn't want to embarrass the kid or his family and decided not to announce the graduations from the pulpit that year.

I think you should let your kid go and then report what it was all about later. If you find it intrusive or offensive then you can say something after the fact.

[Tick's wife]

Not justified.

So they care about your daughter and her life. If anything, I think that's nice.

IF they really cared, than it is nice. However, our SP is all about numbers and if he needs a report to send to SL about stats, than he should send out a survey.

[Commando]

it might be a little funny, but why be full-on pissed off? I could see if they were counseling the kids on birth control or something, but college? I wish someone had talked to me about college... I could have used some support.

[mUUser]

You're the parent. If you think it's intrusive to your family, then it's intrusive. Don't just mitch and boan about it behind his back. Take a stand.

[il Padrino Ute]

You're the parent. If you think it's intrusive to your family, then it's intrusive. Don't just mitch and boan about it behind his back. Take a stand.

[Tick's wife]

You're the parent. If you think it's intrusive to your family, then it's intrusive. Don't just mitch and boan about it behind his back. Take a stand.

Well, Tick and I handle these things a bit differently. Usually, he's right and I'm just behind him telling him how I feel but he says it the right way. He usually doesn't get made. It's the filipino in me.

[thesaint258]

What does your daughter think?

[Katy Lied]

I think your anger is misplaced here. It's not like the Stake went through and scheduled a meeting with just the troubled teens. He's talking to everyone. Think of it as a PPI with the High Councillor.

Has your daughter's HS guidance counselor met privately with her this year about her plans? Were you offended then? Did you tell the guidance counselor to mind her own business? Did you see it as an intrusion into your parenting skills?