General Conference Predictions

[Moliere]

That doesn't sound like a good argument for decreasing control over situations that easily can be taken advantage of.

I don't disagree. But I guess I stop in a different place. We are very selective about sleepovers. I just don't draw the line at never.

I also want to keep the art of TPing a home alive. that would be practically impossible without sleepovers.

[myboynoah]

I'm curious. The only place I've heard this much angst about sleepovers is here among Mormons, most with ties to Utah. Is this some kind of new Mormon cultural phenomenon akin to Trunk or Treat? This has never been an issue for us and I respect others' concerns, but I've never seen it at this level.

[Pheidippides]

I'm curious. The only place I've heard this much angst about sleepovers is here among Mormons, most with ties to Utah. Is this some kind of new Mormon cultural phenomenon akin to Trunk or Treat? This has never been an issue for us and I respect others' concerns, but I've never seen it at this level.

To that I don't know the answer. The truth is that I am not as closely tied in with a statistically significant segment of the population that is not Mormon and tied to Utah on the whole.

And please don't take my view as criticism of yours. If there was a uniformly superior parenting methodology we all would have undoubtedly adopted it by now.

[LA Ute]

You could ask the same question in a different way, what are your kids going to miss by coming home at 1 AM and sleeping at their own house that they would get by sleeping at someone else's house? You can have the entire great experience but just come home when it's done.

I agree with Santos -- it's really impossible to know what kind of creepy brothers, cousins, uncles may be at or have access to someone else's house at any given time when your kids are there. Even if you think you know the parents perfectly.

Honestly, over the last few years in our ward I've learned that it's hard enough to know for parents to know what is going on in their own house. It has nothing to do with how vigilant the parent is. It's about minimizing risk.

[myboynoah]

To that I don't know the answer. The truth is that I am not as closely tied in with a statistically significant segment of the population that is not Mormon and tied to Utah on the whole.

And please don't take my view as criticism of yours. If there was a uniformly superior parenting methodology we all would have undoubtedly adopted it by now.

No criticism taken, it was just my observation. Now at the end of four children we've done a lot of playdates and sleepovers. We've been vigilant in vetting families etc. and I do agree that we can't be too careful. I've just never run into anyone else who has a no sleepover policy. Maybe they are there and we're not meeting them.

Given your previous post I can see why you've made your choice. I was just wondering if there is some kind of spontaneous movement out there among parents that is behnd this.

Like LA, we used to "sleep out" and we ended up wandering the neighborhood after everyone went to bed. For some reason that was exciting. But we refrained from going all "JL" on the law.

[Pheidippides]

No criticism taken, it was just my observation. Now at the end of four children we've done a lot of playdates and sleepovers. We've been vigilant in vetting families etc. and I do agree that we can't be too careful. I've just never run into anyone else who has a no sleepover policy. Maybe they are there and we're not meeting them.

Given your previous post I can see why you've made your choice. I was just wondering if there is some kind of spontaneous movement out there among parents that is behnd this.

Like LA, we used to "sleep out" and we ended up wandering the neighborhood after everyone went to bed. For some reason that was exciting. But we refrained from going all "JL" on the law.

Yes, I am very obviously (and unabashedly) influenced towards this policy. I am not sure if there is a movement - very few people outside of this board know that we have this policy.

[Soccermom]

No criticism taken, it was just my observation. Now at the end of four children we've done a lot of playdates and sleepovers. We've been vigilant in vetting families etc. and I do agree that we can't be too careful. I've just never run into anyone else who has a no sleepover policy. Maybe they are there and we're not meeting them.

Given your previous post I can see why you've made your choice. I was just wondering if there is some kind of spontaneous movement out there among parents that is behnd this.

Like LA, we used to "sleep out" and we ended up wandering the neighborhood after everyone went to bed. For some reason that was exciting. But we refrained from going all "JL" on the law.

Perhaps there is a movement, but like you, I am unaware of it. I first decided on a no sleepover policy my last year of law school when I did a bunch of juvenile offender mediations. Lots of kids getting into trouble at group sleepovers. Later, based on an experience that I don't care to share here, I realized it is impossible to know who really is trustworthy, or like danimal said, what really goes on in other people's homes, so it just reinforced my feelings. Aristides feels the same as me, so that was easy enough.

[Danimal]

Simple solution

1. Host the sleepover
2. Refrain from molesting your guests

That can work too. But it ends up being pretty awkward when the other family wants to return the favor and you refuse.

[Jeff Lebowski]

No criticism taken, it was just my observation. Now at the end of four children we've done a lot of playdates and sleepovers. We've been vigilant in vetting families etc. and I do agree that we can't be too careful. I've just never run into anyone else who has a no sleepover policy. Maybe they are there and we're not meeting them.

Given your previous post I can see why you've made your choice. I was just wondering if there is some kind of spontaneous movement out there among parents that is behnd this.

Like LA, we used to "sleep out" and we ended up wandering the neighborhood after everyone went to bed. For some reason that was exciting. But we refrained from going all "JL" on the law.

Hey!

Like I said, we substituted sleepovers with late-nights. None of our kids could ever make a good argument why they couldn't have an equally good time going that route. And frankly, I don't recall any of them ever being upset about it.

[il Padrino Ute]

But we refrained from going all "JL" on the law.

If there were no red and blue lights flashing at some point, then it wasn't any fun. You missed out.

[Jarid in Cedar]

Hey!

Like I said, we substituted sleepovers with late-nights. None of our kids could ever make a good argument why they couldn't have an equally good time going that route. And frankly, I don't recall any of them ever being upset about it.

We have been split on this so far. We usually only do the late night thing, but with our oldest daughter she has sleepovers with a few friends that we have gotten to know well.

My ADR6300 is having unauthorized sleepovers.

[Jarid in Cedar]

If there were no red and blue lights flashing at some point, then it wasn't any fun. You missed out.

My ADR6300 is having unauthorized sleepovers.

[The_Tick]

For those that wont allow their kids to go on sleep overs, will you allow them to:

1. For those with sons: Go on Scout camp outs or to Scout Camp?

and

2. For those with daughters: Allow them to go to girl's camp?

Because I feel that they could be exposed to the same stuff at both of those.

[TripletDaddy]

If there were no red and blue lights flashing at some point, then it wasn't any fun. You missed out.

Agreed. We would hang out at kmart for hours.

[wuapinmon]

What the heck is going on at your sleepovers?

My memories of spending the night at friends homes:

Eat pizza
Stay up late playing board games or video games
Go swimming
Sneak out at night and TP a friend's house

That was about it and it was great fun. Is it common for kids to be looking at porn, doing drugs, or drinking? What kind of "friend vetting" is going on with your kids?

I'm really surprised to hear this, honestly. I really liked spending the night and having friends over. My visits to friends homes were a large part of what introduced me to the church and let me see what the gospel was like inside the home. Don't discount this as you decide to turn away your childrens' friends.

This was my experience too. I know that bad stuff has happened to people at sleepovers, but good grief. I hate that all men are suspected sex offenders nowadays.