Poaching an egg in the microwave

[Jeff Lebowski]

Our neighbor's chickens flew into our yard the other day. Ours can't fly because they're a very big breed. But in the ensuing rumble (a chick fight) ours used their weight and size to their advantage and mauled the intruders. They were gone as quick as they came. My wife, who raised chickens in Bellingham, said sometimes a rogue rooser shows up and you have to call animal control. That hasn't happened yet.

Animal control? I don't get it. Why not just grab it and wring it's neck?

[SeattleUte]

Not the ones at my late wife's grandmother's house in Riverton. Just go get them and crack them open. I actually had a pet chicken in college for about 2 weeks. I named him Reuben. He was rad.

E coli anyone? No thanks, I'll have my omelette sans chicken shit today. I'd rather not go on that diet.

I had no idea you were once a widower. And such a young man. You've really experienced tragedy.

[SeattleUte]

Animal control? I don't get it. Why not just grab it and wring it's neck?

Maybe in Utah County. In King County we call animal control. Besides, a horny rooster is very dangerous.

[TripletDaddy]

E coli anyone? No thanks, I'll have my omelette sans chicken shit today. I'd rather not go on that diet.

I had no idea you were once a widower. And such a young man. You've really experienced tragedy.

Stop being an aguafiestas. You know that I meant to say "my wife's late grandmother."

For the record, when making an omelette, there is a way to do it wherein you don't eat or cook the shell. Do you also wash oranges before you peel them?

[SeattleUte]

For the record, when making an omelette, there is a way to do it wherein you don't eat or cook the shell. Do you also wash oranges before you peel them?

Bacteria can't jump, get acrobatic?

[wuapinmon]

You mock, but now this whole board knows what an aguafiestas is, and I guarantee in the proximate future, one of them is going to hear that word and know what it means because of CUF, tú y yo.

Next month's word is:

otorrinolaringólogo

[TripletDaddy]

Bacteria can't jump, get acrobatic?

Actually, no. Bacteria, like white men, can't jump.

Bacteria have various means of locomotion, but jumping is not one of them.

Did you happen to see a bacterium jump off the eggshell into your frying pan?

[SeattleUte]

Actually, no. Bacteria, like white men, can't jump.

Bacteria have various means of locomotion, but jumping is not one of them.

Did you happen to see a bacterium jump off the eggshell into your frying pan?

Is this your field?

[TripletDaddy]

Is this your field?

I'm not a zoologist, but I know that whales can't fly.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Actually, no. Bacteria, like white men, can't jump.

Bacteria have various means of locomotion, but jumping is not one of them.

Did you happen to see a bacterium jump off the eggshell into your frying pan?

What odd irony. The guy who won't go to a public bathroom has no problem with chicken shit in his scrambled eggs.

They don't need to jump. First of all, you get it on your fingers. Second, the process of cracking can put the egg white in contact with the outside of the shell where it is cracked. Third, you may flake off some dried shit into the pan while cracking the egg.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Do you also wash oranges before you peel them?

If my orange was covered in chicken shit I certainly would.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Maybe in Utah County. In King County we call animal control. Besides, a horny rooster is very dangerous.

Sheesh. Hit him with a shovel first and then wear a pair of gloves when you grab him. You do own a shovel, right?

I can't imagine living with myself after seeking professional help to deal with a chicken.

[YOhio]

This thread is hilarious. Lebowski is trying to convince SU that choking a chicken is okay, but SU is afraid of the horny cock.

[Clark Addison]

I'm with SU on this one. If I get my eggs directly from the source, I'm going to wash them before eating.

[Teenage Dirtbag]

You wash eggs? What for?

Somewhere, Louis Pasteur silently weeps.