The thread for when you find stuff in your pants

[creekster]

Hey monkey, is that a pencil in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Also, since when do monkeys wear pants (not surprisingly, they are pleated pants)?

stop baiting me. You know very well ti is an ape and not a monkey.

[DU Ute]

stop baiting me. You know very well ti is an ape and not a monkey.

Now that w know its name is "ti" we can just call it that. Is it pronounced TEE or TAI?

[creekster]

Now that w know its name is "ti" we can just call it that. Is it pronounced TEE or TAI?

Tai. Like tyler. Tee would be like a girl. Sheesh. Ask me anything about Ti. Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey. err, ape.

[wally]

Missed that. But props to '71 that he's doing that at this age.

I am pretty sure the euphemism was for a bowel movement, which is also impressive for that age (if it is unassisted).

[Art Vandelay]

No pants, but I found $250 in the inside pocket of my ski jacket this winter. I have no idea how long it was there nor who I robbed to get it there (I rarely carry cash).

The most common find in my pockets are lint-crusted altoids or worse drier melted half-pieces of gum (strange OCD issue of mine; I never chew full pieces, unless they are the Trident squares).

In 7th grade my mom found a condom in my pocket. A friend gave it to me (don't recall why). I kind of knew what it was for, but not really. I just thought it was cool to have one....well until I had to discuss it with my mom.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

Word - but... you were wearing shorts? In March? In Oregon? Ohmygawsh global warming is totally real.

Oregon is awesome in the spring, 65 and sunny today, 34 and snowing tomorrow!

[clackamascoug]

Oregon is awesome in the spring, 65 and sunny today, 34 and snowing tomorrow!

A week ago today it was 68* and I had the golf bug. Today woke up to 2 inches of snow. On the positive side, winter has been pretty mild this year.

[Scorcho]

Yes - but next time you ask where her jacket is and offer to get her one, I would bet you ANYTHING that she'll be running to the door to get it herself and will have NO trouble remembering exactly where it is.

That's a win-win for Dad. You couldn't have planned it better had you tried.

good point

[wuapinmon]

I didn't find this in my pants but Wuap did you know that Dale Murphy is on Twitter? Over 4,000 Tweets!

I don't really follow Twitter all that much. But, I'm disappointed that you didn't get the Cornershop reference.

[UtahDan]

Was in court today fishing in my pocket and found a bullet (just the jacketed slug).

[RobinFinderson]

This thread reminds me that I recently wrote a new song. I call it 'The Poopy Dance' song. The lyrics go like this:

There is a poopy in my pants, so I do the poopy dance.

(repeat, ad infinitum while slightly spreading your legs and waddling about as if you have a poopy in your pants).

I wish I could share the tune, but there really isn't much to it. Little Robin told me that he hated the song, and that it was immature, but then I walked into the apartment a while later and caught him waddling in front of the mirror, practicing the dance. He can pretend otherwise, but he is a Finderson.

[wuapinmon]

I can't believe no one has made a decent dick joke yet.

[DU Ute]

I can't believe no one has made a decent dick joke yet.

I think my masturbation joke should fit into this category.

[wuapinmon]

I think my masturbation joke should fit into this category.

I said "decent."

[DU Ute]

I said "decent."

It was indecent, but funny.