More job interview rants.

[cowboy]

Here's a couple of tips:

1) Try to hold the tears back. I know you like the employees you manage at your current place of work. I get it. Please don't get emotional when you tell us how much you'll miss them.

2) HAVE A DAMN WEAKNESS! You know you'll get asked the question; every interviewer asks it. Just once, I'd like a candidate to tell me he is a procrastinator, or that he has a hard time finishing some tasks, or that he spends time on message boards. And then I'd like to here about how he is overcoming his weakness. Trying too hard isn't a weakness. Neither is caring too much, working too hard, or being a perfectionist. Take your bullshit somewhere else.

You know I'm worked up if I swear in a post. My apologies, but I'm fed up with idiots.

[il Padrino Ute]

How would you like the person you interview to start off with "Tell me right now if you're not going to hire me, because I don't want to waste my time if I'm not going to get hired."

[Pheidippides]

2) HAVE A DAMN WEAKNESS! You know you'll get asked the question; every interviewer asks it. Just once, I'd like a candidate to tell me he is a procrastinator, or that he has a hard time finishing some tasks, or that he spends time on message boards. And then I'd like to here about how he is overcoming his weakness. Trying too hard isn't a weakness. Neither is caring too much, working too hard, or being a perfectionist. Take your bullshit somewhere else.

I concur. If you tell me you're a reformed alcoholic, that gets extra points in my book.

And I will add a #3: HAVE NORMAL FREAKIN' INTERESTS. Look, I really don't care if you spend your vacation time helping HIV-positive orphans in Borneo. I really don't. Good for you and all, but I care more about whether or not I can come in and talk with you about last night's game.

[Pheidippides]

How would you like the person you interview to start off with "Tell me right now if you're not going to hire me, because I don't want to waste my time if I'm not going to get hired."

I would accommodate the request. Immediately.

[cowboy]

I would accommodate the request. Immediately.

Yep. And I would thank the interviewee for saving my time.

[il Padrino Ute]

I would accommodate the request. Immediately.

Then perhaps I should rethink my future strategy, eh?

[Indy Coug]

2) HAVE A DAMN WEAKNESS! You know you'll get asked the question; every interviewer asks it.

The correct answer is "documentation". Everyone has the same weakness and it rarely is a deal-breaker in terms of getting a job offer.

It would be kind of cool if someone did say "I enjoy too much playing the role of a weeping anal orofice on religious internet forums", but I get the impression that SU hasn't interviewed for a job opening in some time.

[Clark Addison]

A peer of mine is hiring for a job, so three of us have been doing panel interviews this week (which I hate, but that is another topic). It's amazing how many people do really stupid things on their resumes or in interviews.

We had one guy, when asked to share a project he worked on, told us about a project that was evidently a disaster. He said "Even my peers were confused when I explained my work to them", and "I did (a task), but not very well". In the end, the project was not implemented. After he finished the story, we just kind of sat there, not knowing what to say.

Then, there was the guy who, when we asked him to tell us about himself, said "I am a bit of a Wikipedia addict." OK, we'll be sure to restrict your internet access.

This morning, we interviewed a guy who is currently in a Masters program. He doesn't have that much work history, so his resume is understandably a little bare. So he leads with his education, where it says:

Bachelor of Arts, Economics, 2007 – GPA 2.5

I wanted to tell him that his resume is a sales document, not a transcript, and he was under no obligation to put things down that made him look bad. When I was in college I got a C- in Japanese and my motor-bike was impounded, but neither one of these is on my resume.

[wuapinmon]

Here's a couple of tips:



2) HAVE A DAMN WEAKNESS! You know you'll get asked the question; every interviewer asks it. Just once, I'd like a candidate to tell me he is a procrastinator, or that he has a hard time finishing some tasks, or that he spends time on message boards. And then I'd like to here about how he is overcoming his weakness. Trying too hard isn't a weakness. Neither is caring too much, working too hard, or being a perfectionist. Take your bullshit somewhere else.
.

Of all the on-campus interviews I had, Coker was last. I was sick of interviewing with the same bullshit questions (e.g. What are your weaknesses?), so when I had my panel interview, and that question came, I turned the tables.

(This is not verbatim, but fairly close)

Them: "What are your weaknesses?"
Me: "Pride."
Them (puzzled looking): Can you explain?
Me: "I'm really good at what I do and I've been doing it for a long time and my student and peer evaluations are glowing. I keep up with trends and technology and I've been an early-adopter of these things. I'm very good at what I do and I don't think I have any weaknesses. So, that's my weakness, I'm too prideful about how good I am at what I do because I can always get better."

After I got the job I was told that they loved my answer.

[Mormon Red Death]

Of all the on-campus interviews I had, Coker was last. I was sick of interviewing with the same bullshit questions (e.g. What are your weaknesses?), so when I had my panel interview, and that question came, I turned the tables.

(This is not verbatim, but fairly close)

Them: "What are your weaknesses?"
Me: "Pride."
Them (puzzled looking): Can you explain?
Me: "I'm really good at what I do and I've been doing it for a long time and my student and peer evaluations are glowing. I keep up with trends and technology and I've been an early-adopter of these things. I'm very good at what I do and I don't think I have any weaknesses. So, that's my weakness, I'm too prideful about how good I am at what I do because I can always get better."

After I got the job I was told that they loved my answer.

When I get asked that question I just reply "Kryptonite"

[PaloAltoCougar]

I had a job interview with an insurance company, and the lady said, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I said, "Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me that question."

R.I.P., Mitch Hedberg

[Moliere]

I had a job interview with an insurance company, and the lady said, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I said, "Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me that question."

R.I.P., Mitch Hedberg

Ha! I had a similar experience. I was in an interview in the interviewer's office. He was a manager who had been there for about 7 or 8 years and he asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. I said, "working in this office" (He liked that answer.

[beefytee]

I had a job interview with an insurance company, and the lady said, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I said, "Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me that question."

R.I.P., Mitch Hedberg

I always answer that question with a question "Where do you see your company in 5 years?"

I don't know if that is a popular answer, but it seems to work for me.

[Green Lantern]

20 minutes ago--

Me: So I understand that you applied with us once before? What happened?

Him: Yeah, it was about 8 months ago. I was offered a better position and took that instead.

Me: So my understanding is that we're your backup?

Him: (turning redfaced) No no! Not at all!

[UteStar]

Best resume was for an accountant. He did not have one minute of work experience or even college experience with any kind of numbers. He was a PolySci major, he worked in a call center and he had worked as a research analyst. He applied for a Senior Accountant position in our company.

He then proceeded to write up a 4 paragraph cover letter on why he would be great for the accounting job. "I am truly one of the hardest workers in this city." He explained how all of his life he tackled new opportunities without experience and always thrived in it. He also explained that there might be a tiny learning curve but that he would overcome that very quickly.

We hired him. He bankrupted our company within 2 months. No, totally kidding. We didn't hire him. But watch out all of you accountants...someone without experience could totally do your job.