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Adventures in Parenting

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  • #1

    Adventures in Parenting

    Part I:

    Today at work I received a call from home on my cell phone. It's unusual for my wife to call my cell phone - she usually calls my office line - so I was only mildly surprised when it was my five year old son.

    "Hey, dad, guess what? Mom left us home alone while she went to the store."

    "Oh. So you're home alone with [9 year old daughter]?"

    "Yup, but mom took [2.5 year old daughter]."

    "Okay. Can you put your sister on?"

    After talking to my daughter and instructing her to be nice, I hung up and tried to call my wife on her cell. No answer, which is not surprising because she is very bad at answering her phone.

    I was sitting there marveling at the fact that my closet-genius 5 year old had my cell phone number memorized and wasn't afraid to use it when I got another call, this time from my daughter, informing me that (a) my son had gone into the forbidden sanctum that is my room, (b) raided my bedstand and (c) decided to consume one of my heavily-caffeinated energy gels. This is not as bad as it sounds because I prefer him to raid the energy gels than consume the Johnson & Johnson product his 2.5 year old sister prefers (also in the nightstand) and because I don't have to deal with the wired kid. As long as I can find my wife first.

    I try her cell again. No response.

    At this point I have a work problem to deal with and get distracted for two minutes. In the meantime, my resourceful kids decide it is in their best interest to leave the house and walk down the street to a neighbor's house and inform him that they've been left home alone.

    As I'm packing up to run home to give at least some sort of supervision, I decide to call home and let the kids know I'm coming. And my wife answers. Apparently she was unhappy that the kids took too long to get ready and just left them. This is not entirely out of the blue because we have been debating whether or not the older daughter is mature enough to watch her siblings for short stretches (answer: apparently not).

    We had a brief and totally unheated discussion (seriously) about ways to handle this better next time, after which she called the neighbor and went off to collect her parent of the year award. Those last words are hers, not mine.

    I may take a day off tomorrow and work from home to give her a break.
    Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.
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  • #2
    Love it!

    These types of stories help me feel normal. Thanks for sharing.
    "Newton's First Law of Motion: ...things at rest tend to stay at rest. Things in motion, tend to stay in motion...."

    Hmm... Good motivation for me to remain active I guess.

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    • #3
      The "Part I" thing leaves me thinking there's more.
      "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
      The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

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      • #4
        Originally posted by wuapinmon View Post
        The "Part I" thing leaves me thinking there's more.
        Borg has the right idea. There is no more at this time, but a Part II (maybe relevant, maybe completely disjointed) will certainly be forthcoming. Others are invited to share of course.
        Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by wuapinmon View Post
          The "Part I" thing leaves me thinking there's more.
          I interpreted that as his first installment in what he thinks may prove to be a lengthy thread with numerous entries. Not that he has more to tell about that specific story.
          Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

          There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

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          • #6
            We are going through something remotely similar...trying to decide how old is old enough to be left alone...and for how long.

            I recently left the Puffy Check alone for about 20 minutes. Left them watching a movie, went to the grocery store really quickly and came back. No problems. MMM does not know about this, however.

            While I was at the store, I realized that if the kids are not old enough to use the phone to call us or 911, then they are probably not old enough to be left alone. At least not for a long period of time...and unless you have a really good reason....like running out of bacon.
            Fitter. Happier. More Productive.
            sigpic

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            • #7
              Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
              We are going through something remotely similar...trying to decide how old is old enough to be left alone...and for how long.

              I recently left the Puffy Check alone for about 20 minutes. Left them watching a movie, went to the grocery store really quickly and came back. No problems. MMM does not know about this, however.

              While I was at the store, I realized that if the kids are not old enough to use the phone to call us or 911, then they are probably not old enough to be left alone. At least not for a long period of time...and unless you have a really good reason....like running out of bacon.
              I texted MMM. I felt it was my obligation to you and to her...there should be no secrets. She said that you guys would have a long talk about your bacon run later. Good luck. Sorry if I shouldn't have sent the text. Just looking out for you though.

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              • #8
                I made an executive decision that my wife needs the afternoon off. So I scheduled her a massage, told everybody I was working from home for the afternoon, drove home, and told her I don't want to see her until 6:00 pm.
                Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by nikuman View Post
                  I made an executive decision that my wife needs the afternoon off. So I scheduled her a massage, told everybody I was working from home for the afternoon, drove home, and told her I don't want to see her until 6:00 pm.
                  Good man.
                  "You know, I was looking at your shirt and your scarf and I was thinking that if you had leaned over, I could have seen everything." ~Trial Ad Judge

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by nikuman View Post
                    I made an executive decision that my wife needs the afternoon off. So I scheduled her a massage, told everybody I was working from home for the afternoon, drove home, and told her I don't want to see her until 6:00 pm.
                    You've got it down. This will make amends for many a bacon run.
                    "Newton's First Law of Motion: ...things at rest tend to stay at rest. Things in motion, tend to stay in motion...."

                    Hmm... Good motivation for me to remain active I guess.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by UteStar View Post
                      I texted MMM. I felt it was my obligation to you and to her...there should be no secrets. She said that you guys would have a long talk about your bacon run later. Good luck. Sorry if I shouldn't have sent the text. Just looking out for you though.
                      Originally posted by Borg View Post
                      You've got it down. This will make amends for many a bacon run.
                      Like you guys have never gone the extra mile for bacon before
                      Fitter. Happier. More Productive.
                      sigpic

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
                        Like you guys have never gone the extra mile for bacon before
                        "Run out of bacon" in the South is a vulgar insult upon you and your family. It's akin to the Spanish, "Me cago en la leche."
                        "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
                        The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by wuapinmon View Post
                          "Run out of bacon" in the South is a vulgar insult upon you and your family. It's akin to the Spanish, "Me cago en la leche."
                          I will make a mental note, as I plan to be in Mississippi in a month. I hope nobody uses this phrase towards me or any member of my family.
                          Fitter. Happier. More Productive.
                          sigpic

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by TripletDaddy View Post
                            I will make a mental note, as I plan to be in Mississippi in a month. I hope nobody uses this phrase towards me or any member of my family.
                            There are regional variations. In Mississippi, they say, "Run out of hickory-smoked bacon" to make it hit even harder. In my parts, it's "Run out of applewood-smoked Smithfield bacon."
                            "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
                            The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by wuapinmon View Post
                              There are regional variations. In Mississippi, they say, "Run out of hickory-smoked bacon" to make it hit even harder. In my parts, it's "Run out of applewood-smoked Smithfield bacon."
                              Southerners.

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