Looking people in the eye.

[YOhio]

Golly, I think I would love it there YOhio. And my soccerkids could grow up cheering for the Bengals, Indians, and Cavaliers.

NO! Bengals, Reds and Utah Jazz.

[TripletDaddy]

You'd love it here Soccermom. Even Triple Dad found himself temporarily seduced by the famous Buckeye State charm.

[Soccermom]

NO! Bengals, Reds and Utah Jazz.

Oh, of course. Forgot about the Reds! But the Utah Jazz? Aristides will cheer for them, but I'll be cheering for Le Bron and the Cavaliers. I like to support the local teams.

[Solon]

I meet an astonishing number of people who give a dead fish handshake. Who are these people? A firm hand shake tells a lot. It tells you something too when someone tried to crush you hand, which I do get every now and then. Fortunately I can return a pretty firm grip my self, which these characters who try to break your hand seem to really appreciate. Weird stuff.

In France, it's impolite to give too firm of a handshake. Limp is polite.

In related news, most frenchies are wimps.

[wuapinmon]

I've always thought this too, so explain to me why I just got a funny look from the checkout girl at the supermarket. I took my change, smiled and said thanks, and it was like I was from another planet.

Where were you in the East? If it was North of Virginia she's probably not used to people being polite.

[Donuthole]

"Atatatatat. Look eye. Always look eye."

[I.J. Reilly]

The midwest sounds like a swell place to live.

When the weather isn't crappy, the midwest is a great place to be. As an added bonus, the housing prices are very reasonable.

[il Padrino Ute]

If you really want to creep someone out, look at their ear when you talk to them. They know that something just isn't right with how you're looking at them, but they usually can't figure out what it is.

And if you want to really up the creepiness factor, bow your head, but maintain eye contact and talk in a slow, monotone voice. Breathe loudly through your mouth between each word if you really want to have fun.

[cowboy]

What kind of women are you looking in the eyes back East? Strangers or business acquaintances? I have a theory if it is just strangers and service providers. I have always found people back East to be a little less friendly than those of us from the Western U.S. It seems like they are more private and don't easily warm up to just anyone. But, I'm going off of anecdotal evidence only.

Strangers and service providers. I think you might be right.

[YOhio]

In related news, most frenchies are wimps.

Solon, take this xenophobic crap off this board!!!!

[il Padrino Ute]

Solon, take this xenophobic crap off this board!!!!

It so like you to defend the indefensible.

[CardiacCoug]

When we lived in St. Louis we lived in a predominantly African American neighborhood. When I would try to order fast food I would wait for eye contact before speaking and the eye contact would never come. Eventually I would just start my order but still there was frequently no eye contact -- just the buttons pressed for the order. This definitely threw me off for the first few months until I got used to it and realized that the person was listening even if he wouldn't make any eye contact.

I was describing this experience to an African American member of our ward and she said that she thought avoiding eye contact was maybe a subconscious way that some African Americans think they are being non-confrontational and/or deferential. I'm not sure if that's true or if it's just lack of social skills -- either way, inability to make eye contact is not a very good trait no matter what type of work a person does.

[BlueHair]

I usually look a woman in the eyes while planning in my mind how I'm going to sneak a peek at her boobs.

[wuapinmon]

When we lived in St. Louis we lived in a predominantly African American neighborhood. When I would try to order fast food I would wait for eye contact before speaking and the eye contact would never come. Eventually I would just start my order but still there was frequently no eye contact -- just the buttons pressed for the order. This definitely threw me off for the first few months until I got used to it and realized that the person was listening even if he wouldn't make any eye contact.

I was describing this experience to an African American member of our ward and she said that she thought avoiding eye contact was maybe a subconscious way that some African Americans think they are being non-confrontational and/or deferential. I'm not sure if that's true or if it's just lack of social skills -- either way, inability to make eye contact is not a very good trait no matter what type of work a person does.

This was also my experience in New Orleans, Atlanta, and South Carolina. Once they clock out though, it's very different--I've had employees be "rude" and then while we're still there, clock out, and then come by very nice to us and play with our children. I sometimes feel that African-Americans have different expectations of customer service and that what I perceive as bad service might just be a cultural difference, but one that any employer would do wise to train against given the often adverse reaction people have to not making eye contact.

One thing I have also noticed. Perhaps it's cultural, perhaps it's just anecdotal; some African-American women will close their eyes while talking to you, only opening them when they pause between words. Has anyone else observed this? This happens quite a bit in my Spanish classes with non-traditional students, and it was very common in the Church in NOLA.

[cowboy]

This was also my experience in New Orleans, Atlanta, and South Carolina. Once they clock out though, it's very different--I've had employees be "rude" and then while we're still there, clock out, and then come by very nice to us and play with our children. I sometimes feel that African-Americans have different expectations of customer service and that what I perceive as bad service might just be a cultural difference, but one that any employer would do wise to train against given the often adverse reaction people have to not making eye contact.

One thing I have also noticed. Perhaps it's cultural, perhaps it's just anecdotal; some African-American women will close their eyes while talking to you, only opening them when they pause between words. Has anyone else observed this? This happens quite a bit in my Spanish classes with non-traditional students, and it was very common in the Church in NOLA.

I've noticed the same with most service people, regardless of race, here in the east (I'm sitting in MA at the moment.) I was at a meeting last night, and there was a woman there (pretty unusual at the meetings I attend) who definitely did not exhibit this trait. She works as a lobbyist, and I was literally backed into a corner while she was talking to me - staring me down the whole time. Lobbyists apparently know how to look people in the eye.