Looking people in the eye.

[cowboy]

I grew up being taught that when you shake someone's hand, say hello and goodbye, etc., that you look the person in the eyes, and that this shows good manners. Is that different in other parts of the country?

Specifically, is it impolite to look a woman in the eyes? I've noticed that east coast women have a funny look when you look at them in the eyes - kind of a "what are you looking at?" look. I always assumed that the eyes were better than anywhere else, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should be looking at their teeth. In any case, I want to avoid all creepy behavior, so your input is appreciated.

Yes, I know this post makes me sound like Jed Clampett. While I do a considerable amount of traveling, I really don't get out much. My trips involve speaking with farmers, and farmers are pretty much the same anywhere you go. So most of the time it's like I went to speak at the Elk's Lodge in the next town over but had to take a plane to get there.

[byu71]

I grew up being taught that when you shake someone's hand, say hello and goodbye, etc., that you look the person in the eyes, and that this shows good manners. Is that different in other parts of the country?

Specifically, is it impolite to look a woman in the eyes? I've noticed that east coast women have a funny look when you look at them in the eyes - kind of a "what are you looking at?" look. I always assumed that the eyes were better than anywhere else, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should be looking at their teeth. In any case, I want to avoid all creepy behavior, so your input is appreciated.

Yes, I know this post makes me sound like Jed Clampett. While I do a considerable amount of traveling, I really don't get out much. My trips involve speaking to farmers, and farmers are pretty much the same anywhere you go. So most of the time it's like I went to the Elk's Lodge in the next town over but had to take a plane to get there.

I was raised with an East Coast mentality. Woman in Utah just don't get it that I was raised not to look them in the eye, but to look somewhere else.

[Pheidippides]

I grew up being taught that when you shake someone's hand, say hello and goodbye, etc., that you look the person in the eyes, and that this shows good manners. Is that different in other parts of the country?

Specifically, is it impolite to look a woman in the eyes? I've noticed that east coast women have a funny look when you look at them in the eyes - kind of a "what are you looking at?" look. I always assumed that the eyes were better than anywhere else, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should be looking at their teeth. In any case, I want to avoid all creepy behavior, so your input is appreciated.

Yes, I know this post makes me sound like Jed Clampett. While I do a considerable amount of traveling, I really don't get out much. My trips involve speaking with farmers, and farmers are pretty much the same anywhere you go. So most of the time it's like I went to speak at the Elk's Lodge in the next town over but had to take a plane to get there.

I didn't grow up that way so much as I've acquired it as a learned trait. If I am looking them in the eye, I am not looking them in the boobs. Serious.

[TheBYUGuy]

If you really want to creep someone out, look at their ear when you talk to them. They know that something just isn't right with how you're looking at them, but they usually can't figure out what it is.

Also, I remember sitting in a meeting with my workgroup, including a lady who had a lazy eye. I was sitting next to another co-worker and across the table from her. At one point in the meeting, she was asking one of us a relatively pointed question. The problem was that she was looking at me with one eye and looking at him with the other, and you couldn't tell based on context who the question was for. After a moment of awkward silence, my co-worker and I looked at eachother with a look of "Well, aren't you going to answer her question?"

[Jarid in Cedar]

I didn't grow up that way so much as I've acquired it as a learned trait. If I am looking them in the eye, I am not looking them in the boobs. Serious.

I second this approach. I tend to have "wandering eye" syndrome so I try to make sure I am staring at their face like there is a horn growing out of it.

[cowboy]

I didn't grow up that way so much as I've acquired it as a learned trait. If I am looking them in the eye, I am not looking them in the boobs. Serious.

I've always thought this too, so explain to me why I just got a funny look from the checkout girl at the supermarket. I took my change, smiled and said thanks, and it was like I was from another planet.

[beefytee]

I've always thought this too, so explain to me why I just got a funny look from the checkout girl at the supermarket. I took my change, smiled and said thanks, and it was like I was from another planet.

It is simply her insecurities dealing with such a confident handsome man.

I wouldn't worry about it.

[Soccermom]

I've always thought this too, so explain to me why I just got a funny look from the checkout girl at the supermarket. I took my change, smiled and said thanks, and it was like I was from another planet.

What kind of women are you looking in the eyes back East? Strangers or business acquaintances? I have a theory if it is just strangers and service providers. I have always found people back East to be a little less friendly than those of us from the Western U.S. It seems like they are more private and don't easily warm up to just anyone. But, I'm going off of anecdotal evidence only.

[Solon]

I grew up being taught that when you shake someone's hand, say hello and goodbye, etc., that you look the person in the eyes, and that this shows good manners. Is that different in other parts of the country?

Specifically, is it impolite to look a woman in the eyes? I've noticed that east coast women have a funny look when you look at them in the eyes - kind of a "what are you looking at?" look. I always assumed that the eyes were better than anywhere else, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should be looking at their teeth. In any case, I want to avoid all creepy behavior, so your input is appreciated.

Yes, I know this post makes me sound like Jed Clampett. While I do a considerable amount of traveling, I really don't get out much. My trips involve speaking with farmers, and farmers are pretty much the same anywhere you go. So most of the time it's like I went to speak at the Elk's Lodge in the next town over but had to take a plane to get there.

It's probably more of a culture thing than a geography thing (although I realize they're not exclusive). When I taught school in Utah, I had lots of Mexican students. They felt it was disrespectful to look me in the eye if I was chewing on them for something. To look me in the eye was to challenge my authority. Contrite students would politely look down or away.

I also have a Muslim neighbor from Iraq. She wears a headscarf and is fairly conservative, although as a medical doctor she's not a shut-in or anything. She won't look me in the eye if I say hello. She'll reply (she's not rude; on the contrary she's really nice), but she won't let our gazes lock. Maybe just touch.

[RC Vikings]

When talking to a woman the only thought in my mind is look her in the eyes. I may not hear a word she says and frankly most of the time I don't care but at least she knows that I think more of her then just her boobs.

[YOhio]

Here in the midwest we appreciate a person who can look you in the eye and offer a firm handshake. Male or female, it doesn't matterl.

[Soccermom]

Here in the midwest we appreciate a person who can look you in the eye and offer a firm handshake. Male or female, it doesn't matterl.

The midwest sounds like a swell place to live.

[UtahDan]

Here in the midwest we appreciate a person who can look you in the eye and offer a firm handshake. Male or female, it doesn't matterl.

I meet an astonishing number of people who give a dead fish handshake. Who are these people? A firm hand shake tells a lot. It tells you something too when someone tried to crush you hand, which I do get every now and then. Fortunately I can return a pretty firm grip my self, which these characters who try to break your hand seem to really appreciate. Weird stuff.

[YOhio]

The midwest sounds like a swell place to live.

You'd love it here Soccermom. Even Triple Dad found himself temporarily seduced by the famous Buckeye State charm.

[Soccermom]

You'd love it here Soccermom. Even Triple Dad found himself temporarily seduced by the famous Buckeye State charm.

Golly, I think I would love it there YOhio. And my soccerkids could grow up cheering for the Bengals, Indians, and Cavaliers.