Banning/Suspending Posters

[smokymountainrain]

When you ask your kidsn to be nice do you do it while telling them they are mean little SOBs?

MAybe you are right. But it sure looks like a mote/beam sort of deal to me.

Isn't it when they are being mean little SOBs that we generally ask for them to increase their kindness? Is pointing out their behavior while asking them to be nice really that bad or mean?

[PaloAltoCougar]

Robin, Lingo's statement that he's not here to make friends wasn't a single utterance born of insecurity, as you seem to characterize it, but has been repeated many times, in different threads and to individuals, and has been expressed as an apparent point of pride.

Your call for a kinder, gentler board is well-intentioned and good. The community is very tolerant and forgiving of occasional screw-ups or misstatements (we've all made them). But Lingo's repetitious declarations make it seem as if tolerance or forgiveness isn't high on his wish list.

[Babs]

But you raise a good point. How are the guppies to respond to the barracuda without themselves becoming a barracuda? I'm not sure, but that doesn't change my basic point (and I'm not perfect at this, but I still believe it): We can be nicer. We can be more patient. We can be more forgiving. We can create space for the sinner to repent. We should offer encouragement and kindness.

your posts on this topic are some of the most underinformed, self-righteous, and condescending I've ever seen. And frankly, with Triplet around, that's really saying something.

Creekster, thank you, but I think Robin's posts speak for themselves.

[creekster]

I ask my kids to be nice on a regular basis. This doesn't mean I am always nice. Robin's call to be nicer is on point whether he is perfect in that sense or not.

When you ask your kidsn to be nice do you do it while telling them they are mean little SOBs?

MAybe you are right. But it sure looks like a mote/beam sort of deal to me.

[creekster]

Babs has many fine qualities, but she can also be incredibly cruel and belittling, and relentless.

ANd so yet again, is this you showing meekness or kindness? When you preface your pleas with something as mean spitited as this it sounds like so much self-serving hot air, at least to me. We should all be meek and kind except you, when you want to tell somone else to be meek and kind. Is that about it?

[smokymountainrain]

So tell me, when in post #89 you said this to babs:



was this you showing meekness, or kindness, or one of the other traits you are suggesting we adopt?

I ask my kids to be nice on a regular basis. This doesn't mean I am always nice. Robin's call to be nicer is on point whether he is perfect in that sense or not.

[TheBYUGuy]

We can be nicer. We can be more patient. We can be more forgiving. We can create space for the sinner to repent. We should offer encouragement and kindness.

Robin, this sounds just like President Hinckley. I'll have you know that you've got my vote for Apostle next time around.

[RobinFinderson]

So tell me, when in post #89 you said this to babs:

was this you showing meekness, or kindness, or one of the other traits you are suggesting we adopt?

Babs has many fine qualities, but she can also be incredibly cruel and belittling, and relentless.

But you raise a good point. How are the guppies to respond to the barracuda without themselves becoming a barracuda? I'm not sure, but that doesn't change my basic point (and I'm not perfect at this, but I still believe it): We can be nicer. We can be more patient. We can be more forgiving. We can create space for the sinner to repent. We should offer encouragement and kindness.

[Babs]

I agree. And I think it is odd how other people have gone from such early promise to posting Muppet porn in their avatar. Life is strange.

hey, at least I don't post phallic fruit.

[creekster]

Patience, long suffering, meekness, kindness, generosity, forgiving, turn the other cheek, I know, I know... good gravy.

I'm just saying we can be nicer. I know, when you are in one of these vicious feedback loops, that it can be difficult to resist the temptation to escalate, especially when it seems like everyone is piling on and escalating against you. I'd like to think that we are creating a community culture where reform can happen with encouragement, and not by having our insecurities used as weapons against us.

Case in point: Everyone wants to be liked. When Lingo said that he wasn't here to make friends, he was obviously acting in self defense, but he exposed a genuine insecurity in that statement. We should all be able to see that. It isn't rocket science. Yet some people here keep bringing that up as evidence that Lingo is lame. It is an example of using a person's obvious insecurity to further hurt him. Lingo IS here to make friends, and he DOES want to be liked. That doesn't mean we have to be his friend or like him, but we needn't poke at his open sores. We should give him the space to live down that obviously insecure comment.

So tell me, when in post #89 you said this to babs:

Not surprising at all, Babs. You were pretty damn cruel to wuap in those early days of his arrival. I've never known you to admit a single fault, and I'm not expecting you to begin now.

was this you showing meekness, or kindness, or one of the other traits you are suggesting we adopt?

[Fiyero]

I agree. And I think it is odd how other people have gone from such early promise to posting Muppet porn in their avatar. Life is strange.

Could be worse; she could be posting Furniture Porn.

[RobinFinderson]

good gravy.

Patience, long suffering, meekness, kindness, generosity, forgiving, turn the other cheek, I know, I know... good gravy.

I'm just saying we can be nicer. I know, when you are in one of these vicious feedback loops, that it can be difficult to resist the temptation to escalate, especially when it seems like everyone is piling on and escalating against you. I'd like to think that we are creating a community culture where reform can happen with encouragement, and not by having our insecurities used as weapons against us.

Case in point: Everyone wants to be liked. When Lingo said that he wasn't here to make friends, he was obviously acting in self defense, but he exposed a genuine insecurity in that statement. We should all be able to see that. It isn't rocket science. Yet some people here keep bringing that up as evidence that Lingo is lame. It is an example of using a person's obvious insecurity to further hurt him. Lingo IS here to make friends, and he DOES want to be liked. That doesn't mean we have to be his friend or like him, but we needn't poke at his open sores. We should give him the space to live down that obviously insecure comment.

[SeattleUte]

I see that you have started your Friday wine down early again.

This wasn't a study of right vs wrong. There was nothing wrong with what the parents were doing. It was a study to observe that which motivates our behavior and the effect certain motivations have on our moral sentiments. The day care example was one of over 30 different experiments conducted to explore this issue. In the case of the day care, it was observed that a small financial penalty was obviously the wrong motivator.

But good to know that your day care doesn't have this problem. For what it's worth, our day care doesn't have it, either.

Wow. Defensive. Did you think I was attacking you? Your poor wife.

[UtahDan]

I'll be the first to admit that after a slow start wuap has become a stellar contributor to the community, and it truly is quite remarkable he was able to make such a miraculous turnaround.

I agree. And I think it is odd how other people have gone from such early promise to posting Muppet porn in their avatar. Life is strange.

[Babs]

I'll be the first to admit that after a slow start wuap has become a stellar contributor to the community, and it truly is quite remarkable he was able to make such a miraculous turnaround.