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There needs to be a bonfire,

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  • #1

    There needs to be a bonfire,

    a big huge bonfire in the West Parking lot and on that bonfire the following things need to be thrown:

    Every ball used in the game last night.
    The field goal nets
    The pylons for the endzone
    BYU players' uniforms and equipment
    The banner that led the team into the stadium
    The Cheer squad's uniforms
    The pep band
    Cosmo's costume and his damn mobile
    Corby Eason's jock strap
    Greg Wrubell's microphone
    All those white pom poms the fans had
    Every "Rise Up" t-shirt that entered the stadium
    The North scoreboard

    All of it needs to be thrown on to the pyre as a sacrifice to purge LES, its fans, and the team of the unholy act that occurred there. This must be accompanied by a solemn assembly of students, faculty, players, and administration who at the apex of the conflagration's strength will join arms, close their eyes, and slowly sway together in unison as they sing hymn # 127, "Does the Journey Seem Long?"

    This is the only way we'll all be able to remove the 53 daggers that are lodged in our sides and hearts and allow the balm of Gilead to heal us.

    Come, Cougar fans! Grab your torch and anything flammable!

    WE MUST PURGE OURSELVES OF THIS IGNOMINIOUS DEFEAT WITH FLAMES, COALS, AND SMOKE!
    Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
    God forgives many things for an act of mercy
    Alessandro Manzoni

    Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

    pelagius
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Epic. But insufficient.

    Comment

    • #3
      Originally posted by Colly Wolly View Post
      Epic. But insufficient.
      Does this mean you won't be bringing the beer?
      Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
      God forgives many things for an act of mercy
      Alessandro Manzoni

      Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

      pelagius

      Comment

      • #4
        Originally posted by pellegrino View Post
        a big huge bonfire in the West Parking lot and on that bonfire the following things need to be thrown:

        Every ball used in the game last night.
        The field goal nets
        The pylons for the endzone
        BYU players' uniforms and equipment
        The banner that led the team into the stadium
        The Cheer squad's uniforms
        The pep band
        Cosmo's costume and his damn mobile
        Corby Eason's jock strap
        Greg Wrubell's microphone
        All those white pom poms the fans had
        Every "Rise Up" t-shirt that entered the stadium
        The North scoreboard

        All of it needs to be thrown on to the pyre as a sacrifice to purge LES, its fans, and the team of the unholy act that occurred there. This must be accompanied by a solemn assembly of students, faculty, players, and administration who at the apex of the conflagration's strength will join arms, close their eyes, and slowly sway together in unison as they sing hymn # 127, "Does the Journey Seem Long?"

        This is the only way we'll all be able to remove the 53 daggers that are lodged in our sides and hearts and allow the balm of Gilead to heal us.

        Come, Cougar fans! Grab your torch and anything flammable!

        WE MUST PURGE OURSELVES OF THIS IGNOMINIOUS DEFEAT WITH FLAMES, COALS, AND SMOKE!
        Didn't you learn anything from 1 Chronicles 21.18-27? Why would God want all that crap?

        I think the byu needs to sacrifice the HD truck.
        "More crazy people to Provo go than to any other town in the state."
        -- Iron County Record. 23 August, 1912. (http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lc...23/ed-1/seq-4/)

        Comment

        • #5
          Originally posted by pellegrino View Post
          Does this mean you won't be bringing the beer?
          Your bonfire is missing human sacrifice and/or bloodshed. There can be no atonement without one or both of these.

          Comment

          • #6
            Originally posted by Solon View Post
            Didn't you learn anything from 1 Chronicles 21.18-27? Why would God want all that crap?

            I think the byu needs to sacrifice the HD truck.
            this could be key to our redemption as a people

            Originally posted by Colly Wolly View Post
            Your bonfire is missing human sacrifice and/or bloodshed. There can be no atonement without one or both of these.
            That's why I included the pep band.
            Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
            God forgives many things for an act of mercy
            Alessandro Manzoni

            Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

            pelagius

            Comment

            • #7
              Originally posted by pellegrino View Post
              this could be key to our redemption as a people


              That's why I included the pep band.
              A weightier sacrifice is demanded.

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by Colly Wolly View Post
                A weightier sacrifice is demanded.
                I don't know, have you seen the tuba section?
                Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
                God forgives many things for an act of mercy
                Alessandro Manzoni

                Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

                pelagius

                Comment

                • #9
                  Originally posted by pellegrino View Post
                  I don't know, have you seen the tuba section?
                  Samuelson. Throw him on there. Also, the honor code. The immolation of both of those things may restore us to our proper place and standing in the universe.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Colly Wolly View Post
                    Samuelson. Throw him on there. Also, the honor code. The immolation of both of those things may restore us to our proper place and standing in the universe.
                    Done! Don't forget the keg pump, I'll see you at 7:00!
                    Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
                    God forgives many things for an act of mercy
                    Alessandro Manzoni

                    Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

                    pelagius

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by pellegrino View Post
                      This is the only way we'll all be able to remove the 53 daggers that are lodged in our sides and hearts and allow the balm of Gilead to heal us.
                      Don't you mean 54?

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        This is why I love the BYU sports fans that are also academics. Beautiful imagery. Thanks pilgrim!
                        "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Colly Wolly View Post
                          Your bonfire is missing human sacrifice and/or bloodshed. There can be no atonement without one or both of these.
                          Heap's publicist.
                          "In conclusion, let me give a shout-out to dirty sex. What a great thing it is" - Northwestcoug
                          "And you people wonder why you've had extermination orders issued against you." - landpoke
                          "Can't . . . let . . . foolish statements . . . by . . . BYU fans . . . go . . . unanswered . . . ." - LA Ute

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                            This is why I love the BYU sports fans that are also academics. Beautiful imagery.
                            I'm not that good looking.
                            "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
                            The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Portland Ute View Post
                              Don't you mean 54?
                              no, 53 we all dodged the last one with a deft remote control parry.

                              ps- you're not invited to the bonfire.
                              Dio perdona tante cose per un’opera di misericordia
                              God forgives many things for an act of mercy
                              Alessandro Manzoni

                              Knock it off. This board has enough problems without a dose of middle-age lechery.

                              pelagius

                              Comment

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