Put aside any personal feelings you may have about what he did and pretend he's paying you ungodly amounts of money to dispense your advise as he rehabs his reputation. What would you tell him he needs to do to continue to rule the world?
A few of my suggestions:
1) Pull a Letterman. It's a little late, but these women coming out of the woodwork (he he) are going to be expensive. Everyone already assumes you have others out there so beat them to the punch. A confession apologizing to your wife and fans and to the women you mistreated where you admit to many infidelities but vow to go forward a new man will save you millions of dollars. No more need to pay for silence. This is all under the condition that you don't have any crazy sex secrets out there. If you were adding another dude or a farm animal to your routines then all bets are off.
2) It's time to find Jesus. A nice, noncontroversial Christian denomination where you can be seen but not necessarily heard. Don't talk Jesus in your work but be seen arm in arm with Elin attending church while you work out your problems. If there's a watered down version of Promise Keepers out there you might join it (absolutely not PK though).
3) Start playing golf again ASAP. Winning tournaments can do more than anything else to shut people up about your cheating.
4) Always take questions about these mistakes and give vague, self deprecating, humble answers followed by the vow that you are doing all you can to be a good man going forward.
5) Link up with a mentor that the world trusts. I'm having trouble coming up with a name here but someone who is considered morally untouchable. Hell, maybe it's Oprah! Let it be known that this person is advising you and helping you move forward as a decent human being.
6) Don't ever again use a cell phone registered in your own name for any personal call or text. Realize that anything that can be traced to you is worth money and lots of it. Use a phone registered to anyone else in the world. Anyone. Ron Mexico, Ben Dover, whatever. Don't use an email that can be traced to you and really, don't use email ever. Do not under any circumstances leave a voicemail. TMZ/Nat. Enq. will pay more for it than you will ever want to.
A few of my suggestions:
1) Pull a Letterman. It's a little late, but these women coming out of the woodwork (he he) are going to be expensive. Everyone already assumes you have others out there so beat them to the punch. A confession apologizing to your wife and fans and to the women you mistreated where you admit to many infidelities but vow to go forward a new man will save you millions of dollars. No more need to pay for silence. This is all under the condition that you don't have any crazy sex secrets out there. If you were adding another dude or a farm animal to your routines then all bets are off.
2) It's time to find Jesus. A nice, noncontroversial Christian denomination where you can be seen but not necessarily heard. Don't talk Jesus in your work but be seen arm in arm with Elin attending church while you work out your problems. If there's a watered down version of Promise Keepers out there you might join it (absolutely not PK though).
3) Start playing golf again ASAP. Winning tournaments can do more than anything else to shut people up about your cheating.
4) Always take questions about these mistakes and give vague, self deprecating, humble answers followed by the vow that you are doing all you can to be a good man going forward.
5) Link up with a mentor that the world trusts. I'm having trouble coming up with a name here but someone who is considered morally untouchable. Hell, maybe it's Oprah! Let it be known that this person is advising you and helping you move forward as a decent human being.
6) Don't ever again use a cell phone registered in your own name for any personal call or text. Realize that anything that can be traced to you is worth money and lots of it. Use a phone registered to anyone else in the world. Anyone. Ron Mexico, Ben Dover, whatever. Don't use an email that can be traced to you and really, don't use email ever. Do not under any circumstances leave a voicemail. TMZ/Nat. Enq. will pay more for it than you will ever want to.
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